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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Because I think it really comes down to this
msauvage purple
So today is Spirit Day. I don't really have any purple to wear, nor anyone to see me wearing it. Bullying has been pretty exhaustively discussed on the internets the last few weeks (although I liked this post the best); I don't really want to get into any of the hows and whys. I was mildly tormented throughout my entire grade-school career, not nothing near as bad as a lot of people had to endure. And the one thing I've figured out from that experience, for absolute sure, is that bullying is able to happen when good people do nothing.

So it doesn't really matter to me what "reason" bullies decide on when they start picking on you. They don't think you're the "right" gender, the right orientation, the right color, the right size; I don't really care. What I'm telling you now is that I'm not going to just stand here anymore. Everyone always says, "Well, it's none of my business." Bullying will be my business now. If I see someone giving you shit, I will tell them to cut that shit out, and we'll take it from there. And if you aren't the one being bullied, and you're standing next to me, I hope you'll back me up. I hope you would do the same for me.

That's my contribution today.

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If this was Facebook, I'd hit the like button. I was bullied pretty extensively for my appearance (my coke-bottle glasses and then later, the lack, ironically enough). Bullying in any form is not ok. My little brother got pushed around so much that when the gym teacher put a hand on his arm, he came around swinging, not realizing he'd get suspended for hitting a teacher. And then the district wanted to make an example of HIM. Not the bullies. I have so little patience for that crap, I will go on warpath if it happens to my kids.

YOU DO THAT. My parents weren't bullied in school or elsewhere, but my mother saw enough of it going on that she decided to homeschool her kids more or less the second she found out that homeschooling was an option. And after hearing stories about bullying from my friends who went to public school, I'm incredibly grateful that she did. I don't really care how a parent keeps their kids safe from bullying: what matters is that they do.

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c-can I steal? I will credit!

As someone who was harassed/taken advantage of throughout elementary school, middle school, and a good bit of high school because of childhood Selective Mutism and the resulting social awkwardness, I have about zero tolerance for any kind of bullshit oh-it's-not-so-bad crap regarding bullying. The assholes who did things to me and expected no retribution for it can burn in hell for all I care. It doesn't matter if they were truly vicious or just bored and decided that bothering the girl who never talked would be entertaining for a few minutes. They were terrible people and I wish nothing but justice upon them, and if I ever have the misfortune of seeing any of them again, I will not hesitate to walk up to them and tell them exactly what I think about them.

I actually got a friend request from one of my most hated bullies, and promptly deleted it. I'd heard about how her life turned out, and damned if she didn't deserve it, cruel bitch.

I admit I almost went off the deep end when I overheard a couple of girls in my son's preschool(!) class calling him names, and one asking the other one if Michael was "Reallllly [her] friend?" Fortunately he didn't hear them, but I stepped in and said, very nicely but pointedly, "Girls, we don't say mean things about our friends or talk about them when they aren't there. It isn't nice, and you wouldn't want them to do that to you, right?" One girl was kind of ashamed, the other was defiant. My husband thinks I almost crossed a line by rebuking someone else's kid, but damn, someone had to, and the teacher didn't hear it. Nip that shit in the bud early, I say.

I don't think you crossed the line in what you said. You were firm, but not nasty. I know if I had kids my first duty would be to protect them then try to help other parents by gently guiding their children when they weren't around.
Then again, I was bullied mercilessly due to my accent and my social class and I wish some other parents had stepped in on my behalf.

Rebecca Weisman, the lady who wrote the book that Tina Fey based the movie Mean Girls on, argues that bullying is really about enforcing conformity. By picking out someone to be outside the group, you make it clear to the people within the group what they have to do to stay in and belong.

She also argues that male homophobia and gay bashing is all about keeping straight men in line, while anti-lesbian homophobia is about keeping straight women in line.

Weisman usually writes about teens, but she also wrote a lesser known book about *parents* and how adults carry the same patterns around of insider/outsider and how that plays out in parent-teacher groups and the like.

Oooh, I did not know this. I will have to pick this book up, what's the title?

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Perfectly said. And your journal's purple, so that totally counts.

I will always back you up.
Gosh, I wish we had gone to school together, people would rue the day the picked on you.
They ended up ruing the day they picked on me for many reasons. Some of them still randomly rue those days.

I like the word rue... makes me think of roo from winnie the pooh just going off.

Ok. Tea time.

I agree with everything here, right down to having no purple to wear.

My concern about wearing purple is that it's something we can do today to feel like we accomplished something, and then forget about it tomorrow. I would rather say, "This is what I promise to do when I actually see it happening."

I was bullied constantly in jr. high/high school, but my mom insisted it was "only teasing" and *not* bullying and refused to back me up, claiming I did not understand the difference. Yeah, right.

The way someone put it recently--I wish I could remember where--is that teasing means that both parties are laughing.

Hell yes. I loved the article you linked.

I was bullied throughout grade school, for being a nerd, and socially awkward, and while my parents sort of tried to make it better, their attitude is still "well this happens in life, it made you stronger" which... no.

We all need to back up eachother, and children who are being bullied.

Being nice or a good person doesn't mean allowing people to treat you badly.

That one took too long to learn.

I was bullied throughout grade school, for being a nerd, and socially awkward, and while my parents sort of tried to make it better, their attitude is still "well this happens in life, it made you stronger" which... no.

Gods, that attitude is such BULLSHIT! It's what people say to avoid having to step in and do something.

When I was a kid, my parents moved me from a great school where I wasn't bullied to one where it became a daily occurrence (the school also had the highest rate of violent crime in the entire state). I was stuck at that school for six years, and the bullying never once stopped till I went to a different city in high school.

Did the bullying make me stronger? HELL no! I went from a confident, bold kid who wasn't afraid to try any new thing to a terrified child who never spoke to anyone unless ordered to, who was afraid to do anything but stay at home and read, and who still suffers from severe social anxiety and a whole host of other neuroses that can be traced directly back to the bullying days and which no amount of therapy have helped.