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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Because I think it really comes down to this
msauvage purple
So today is Spirit Day. I don't really have any purple to wear, nor anyone to see me wearing it. Bullying has been pretty exhaustively discussed on the internets the last few weeks (although I liked this post the best); I don't really want to get into any of the hows and whys. I was mildly tormented throughout my entire grade-school career, not nothing near as bad as a lot of people had to endure. And the one thing I've figured out from that experience, for absolute sure, is that bullying is able to happen when good people do nothing.

So it doesn't really matter to me what "reason" bullies decide on when they start picking on you. They don't think you're the "right" gender, the right orientation, the right color, the right size; I don't really care. What I'm telling you now is that I'm not going to just stand here anymore. Everyone always says, "Well, it's none of my business." Bullying will be my business now. If I see someone giving you shit, I will tell them to cut that shit out, and we'll take it from there. And if you aren't the one being bullied, and you're standing next to me, I hope you'll back me up. I hope you would do the same for me.

That's my contribution today.

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Seriously. I had to get all sorts of tests done in middle school, because I had chronic stomach aches, so much so that we thought I might have cancer, or some sort of disease. It was psychosomatic, and an expression of how much I wanted out of school, that when I changed schools in 6th grade, and got a fresh start of sorts, it went away.

Really, if a kid dreads school for reasons unrelated to actual schoolwork, something is seriously wrong. I was fortunate, in that my parents did step in for me when I asked, but I didn't ask as much as I probably needed it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. One of my lifelong and very best friends is a girl who stood up for me in elementary school when I was being bullied, simply for being shy. Because of what she did, she became a target as well, but just that simple act made all of the difference in my life, because I was no longer alone. I think that standing up to bullying is quite the radical and brave act because of that, so thank you.

Recently in my life : there's an 11-yo at my daughters' school who still believes in Santa. So another 11 yo found out, disillusioned her, tormented her verbally till she cried, then his a^&le friend filmed her on his iPhone so they could all share the joy later.
Daughter didn't know what to do between finding 11-yo and comforting her, and doing something, she didn't know what, about a$%^&le convention. Luckily - sort of - she couldn't find recently-disillusioned-11 yo, so she told the deputy head of school, in time for him to find the evidence on said iPhone.
Now she is being called a whistle-blower, and, oh, use your imagination. At this time, I am glad we have invested four years of her life in karate, because not many people bully a blue-belt successfully.
Also, she and her mates are wearing Santa hats to school every day.
It starts early, people....I do recommend karate and compassion, though.

So, totally a Cool Story Bro moment, but when I was in uhhh... 5th, 6th, or 7th grade, I was tormented by 3 girls in the grade above me.

One day on the bus, they resorted to pulling my hair, as the only empty seat was in front of them. After one particularly strong yank, I stood up on the bus, called them fucking assholes, and proceeded to beat the shit out of one of them with my book, blubbering all the way as they had yanked actual hair out of my head.

I got home, my sister proceeded to bitch me out in front of my mother saying she hoped I'd be banned from the busses for the "rest of your life", and when mom got the story, my sister went "oh." and walked out of the room w/o apologizing at all, and my mom said "served them right." and went back to making dinner.

Nancy drew files, #8. It was a good book, and I went through about 4 copies, as it was also a cursed book (dropped it in water, left it in a snowbank, you know. Typical 11 yr old stuff)

TLDR: I'm reposting that link in a few places. CUZ IT IS AWESOME.

YES. I once had a group of guys in my dorm force a warm Butterfinger bar down my throat because they thought it was fun. I'd just told them I didn't like Butterfingers, which I'd gotten for Halloween, so did anyone want one? That was the last time I tried to be nice to anyone that year. Afterward, my "friend" Brian told me I should have fought back. He'd been watching the whole time. That put a damper on the friendship.

Edited at 2010-10-20 08:36 pm (UTC)

Just posted a link to this on Facebook. And I love the post you linked to.

I think the most important thing is to extend the hand of friendship to the victim of bullying so that he or she has a place to belong. Bullies rarely pick on somebody who is part of a group of friends. This is something positive GOOD people can do to help.

Also, sometimes the bullied person can be advised how to make positive changes to fit in; bullies often pick on those who are different, but SOME of the differences can be remedied, like bad hygiene, ratty clothes, poor posture, lack of friendly attitude. Often the victim doesn't realize how important these things are, even scorns them as being stupid. A gentle nudge from a true friend might make all the difference.

The problem with encouraging the victim to change is that it just encourages victim blaming. "Well, if you didn't walk/talk/look/dress that way, you'd be fine." In addition, some things can't be changed. Things like ratty clothes often isn't something a child chooses, but is forced on them due to poverty.

How can you NOT have purple to wear!?!? Half my wardrobe is purple. People who've known me only for a week already know purple is my favorite color. LOL They also make fun of me, as they should.

More seriously though, as a teacher it's kinda my job to bully kids into studying all the while teaching them not to do it amongst themselves. Just yesterday I missed a conversation between students but turned around to find one with his face burried in his notebook (trying to stiffle tears) and another being told, "See what you've done." by the rest of the class. Nice. That's why I have colleagues who actually never physically turn around to write on the board. I really gotta start practicing that. *sigh*

Well, purple is my favorite color, but I actually look better in blue and green. I have a purple sweater I really like, but that's about it.

The world needs more people who think like you.

While I agree sometimes the bully has issues and needs to be taken aside and asked 'why are you doing this?' they're still little bastards.
I was bullied at school to the point of being physically ill every morning out of fear of going, but on a few occasions someone from a higher year level would butt in and stick up for me, and I tried to do the same when I was older. Knowing that someone else thought the bullies were fucked made me feel better.

So yeah, sticking up for people getting bullied is good, it helped me a lot. Well not with the social awkwardness or anything, but just in general. It got me through.

I work at a university and I saw signs written on the sidewalk in chalk urging everyone to wear purple today, but they didn't say what it was for. My union wears purple and bargaining is coming up, so I thought this was just a "show solidarity for the union" thing. It reminds me of Cleo's rant about the "I like it on..." for breast cancer awareness. How can I help if I don't even know what's going on? And seriously, wearing a certain color only means anything when you're in the wrong part of town or in a sports arena.

I wasn't bullied in school even though I was a prime target as a smart, fat girl with glasses and absolutely NO fashion sense and very few friends. It's probably because I was one of the invisible kids and it just wasn't worth it to mess with me.

Oddly one of my happy memories of school involves people trying to bully me.
Someone had written stuff about me in a school toilet. I would never have seen it actually, but a group of friends had, and had rallied around and decided telling me about it would be better than me accidentally seeing it myself to save me being upset.
When I got to it, there was another comment under the first: "No she isn't"
Just thinking that someone else had taken the time to answer the bully (on a toilet wall no less) and that my friends had been that concerned for me, still makes me smile.

>>Bullying will be my business now. If I see someone giving you shit, I will tell them to cut that shit out, and we'll take it from there.

This. I can get behind this.

Amen to this. I made a point of bringing up the issue of bullying at my son's IEP last week. He's in a new school this year and, thankfully, so far there's been no bullying (he's making friends and so far his peers have been wonderful), but I wanted to hear from his teacher and therapist what the school policy was and how it would be addressed should it happen. I was impressed that the school does indeed have a program in place and that teachers will pull bullies aside to talk about any issues that arise. That being said, I still wanted it made very clear that this mother is not going to be silent if her child is singled out.

I was bullied and picked on in school all the way up through high school (though it slacked off considerably in high school, there were still moments and people were cruel as hell), and teachers and administration never did anything about it. I was the one told to develop a thicker skin or that one day I'd look back on it and laugh. I will be damned if my son ever experiences that sort of pain only to be dismissed by the adults who claim they're there to protect him.

Not trying to sound like a drama queen or anything, but I literally just got home from these girls from my school laughing at me for being me (I'm actually assuming it was because I had a doll I just bought, really) when I was just picking up food.
It hurt. Normally I don't care. Normally I brush it off. But I was having a terrible day and I just started bawling.

And I appreciate it. Seriously. It just takes one friend out of a group to say "hey, guys, this is kinda mean, we should stop" to help.

So thank you.