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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Golden Globes #2
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The NBC people (wtf, I don't care. Natalie and Alexa and who is that, Carson Daly? IDGAF) remind us that This Is The Show Where They Get To Drink. YEAH IT IS. Dammit, I need a Woodchuck.

WELCOME! TO THE 68TH ANNUAL! DRINKY OSCARS! Angelina Jolie, in the audience, is also in dark green. I hope she and CZJ have a rumble in the parking lot. Our Host, Ricky Gervais: "It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking." "WOOOOOO!" "Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast." Also, everything this year was three-dimensional "except the characters of The Tourist." OHHHHHHH. "I'm just jumping on the bandwagon! I haven't even seen it? Who did?" He also wants to make sure that you know is that The Tourist wasn't nominated just because the HFPA wanted Depp and Jolie here. "They also took bribes." Cut to Johnny Depp grinning. Hee. Then Gervais cracks a joke about Scientologists pretending not to be gay. You can hear the audience ("OHHHHHH") shrinking away from the bolt of legal lightning that is about to strike him. He's said something about Hugh Hefner and I didn't even hear it, but apparently it was a doozy.

Please welcome! Scarlett Johansson! Aw, her hair's not... that bad. She just looks like she rode here in a convertible. Nice beige/blush number. The Wearers of Beige rumble is going to look more like a free-for-all.

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech

Big cheer for Geoffrey Rush, but Christian Bale wins. Apparently we are not, in fact, done with him professionally. "Yo! I never really knew who the HFPA was, I always left the room on those press junkets. But now I've won, and now I realize how wise and spectacular they really are!" "WOOOO!" He has totally been pre-gaming, y'all. And now that he's won, he gets to tailgate from here on out. Also, he just thanked Mark Wahlberg for being his "quiet anchor." This is probably the only time Mark Wahlberg will ever hear this compliment. He's still talking about his wife and daughter as they try to softly play him off the stage; the sound completely cuts off as he leans down to shout something about Robert De Niro while they're already trying to play LL Cool J on.

I didn't even catch who's with LL Cool J. We could ask Christian Bale's hair, maybe.

Best Actress — Drama
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Piper Perabo, Covert Affairs
Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Aw, Katey Sagal wins. She looks nice in lipstick red--orange? red? MY RECEPTION BLOWS. Already they're trying to play her off the stage. Of course, since it's almost only actors who win, no crew, at the Globes, they have to play people off or the show will be more than--THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THREE HOURS?

Commercials; mingling.

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Does this hurt Rush's chances for the Oscar? Because if he doesn't win for that brilliant performance, I may just curl up in the fetal position and whimper quietly.

Ooh ooh ooh! Matthew Macfadyen glimpse in "Pillars" clip!!

Probably not, but then again I haven't seen it yet and I have seen The Fighter, and it's maybe Christian Bale's best performance of his career.

I feel so out of the loop. I haven't seen ANYTHING that has been nominated so far.

I could NOT care less about the Golden Globes but every year I read these posts and love them because your liveblogging is so funny. Thanks for doing it again so my evening can be full of lolz :D

Elizabeth Moss and Angelina Jolie are also in green. It's that year.

I surrender to your awesomeness in doing this. I'd rather come comment on yours than try to do this. It's HARD. And you are awesome.

Yay! Liveblog! I have an echo going on. My mom is watching it in the other room and the sound on hers is about a second behind.

This "playing off" bullshit sucks. It is only so that there can be more commercials.
And drinking.

dammit, now I want a woodchuck

...I do have one in my fridge. Hmmm, tempting.

HAHAHAHA, Ashton Kutcher's dad! Ricky is so getting his ass whopped tonight.

I nearly jumped off the couch in excitement when Katey Sagal won - that was a really nice surprise.

I am only just looking at the arrivals pictures, so is it okay for me to gush over the dresses? Because between Amber Riley and Olivia Wilde's gloriously sparkly dresses, I am still just gloriously caught up in this eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee moment.

Dear God, I could listen to Garrett Hedlund talk forever.

He looked better with facial hair. Really. I saw "Country Strong." (Weak movie, great facial hair.)

I have to agree, he is so hot scruffy.

Wow. Leighton looks like she's feeling no pain.

Thanks so much for doing this...my 3 yo stopped the Tivo and it is not taping...if I can't give my own sarcastic comments at the tv, at least I have yours (which honestly are usually much better than mine)

The look on his face was PRECIOUS.

Thank you for these wonderful posts. I woke up about a half hour into the awards so missed Ricky's opening (I'll catch the repeat this afternoon).

Seemes he really stirred things up - not playing the Hollywood - everything is lovely - game. There seemed a lot of ad breaks - every few mins it seemed. We had short ones that then cut to the UK studio where a group of actors sat around and made jokes and wondered if Ricky G was being told off in the back room and handing out silly awards.

'The Tourist' nominations seemed spot on as well as 'Burlesque' getting nominated - they bombed critically so why nominated as best films? Seems like the Golden Globes are not quite what they used to be.

Well, the Globes have always been notorious for that kind of thing--nominate anything just to get some famous people to show up. Hence all the jokes about taking bribes (which is a frequent criticism). It's just unusually obvious this year.

His portrayal of a crack addict in "The Fighter" was convincing enough that my law-enforcement-officer husband had to leave because it was too much like what he sees at work on a daily basis. (We have an autistic son and haven't seen Mozart and the Whale, Elle S'appelle Sabine, nor Temple Grandin either) Take that however you like. There's no denying Bale's talent nor his dedication to creating personae. He wanted to pay tribute to DeNiro because of the Jake LaMotta thing and got played off. Booo. But I guess if everybody got to pay tribute to DeNiro they'd have a twelve-hour show.

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