cleolinda

Please welcome! People from Crazy Stupid Love! Kevin Spacey and... what... is Julianne Moore wearing. It's... like... red, with... this one ballooning sleeve that... is... eating her.

Best Miniseries or Made-for-TV Movie
Carlos
The Pacific
The Pillars of the Earth
Temple Grandin
You Don’t Know Jack

Winner: Carlos. Man, there was a TV movie about strife in 12-century England? Where was I for this? I mean, not that I wouldn't also like to see a movie about Carlos the Jackal, but you know me. Guys, this guy can't speak English very well, please don't play him off yet. I SAID STOP THAT!

They have a hard time herding everyone offstage. I don't know. Gervais: "Like Pac-Man."

Please welcome! The star of Hudson Hawk, Hart's War, The Fifth Element (hey! People actually like that one!), The Color of Night, "Ashton Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis!" He is here to introduce a clip from RED, which I am pretty sure all of us promptly forgot existed the moment it came out. Ah, Golden Globes.

Please welcome! Some guy! Garrett Hedlund? My short term memory is gone! Even though they said his name two seconds ago! Seriously, I might want to see a doctor about this! And Leighton Meester!

Best Supporting Actor in TV Series, Mini-Series, or Made-for-TV Movie
Scott Caan, Hawaii Five-0
Chris Colfer, Glee
Chris Noth, The Good Wife
David Strathairn, Temple Grandin
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Huge scream as Chris Colfer wins. He looks like he might pass out. "I think I just dropped my heart between Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore, so if anyone sees it..." Lea Michele is out at the Glee table dabbing ostentatiously at her tears and gasping. I'm just telling you. Colfer dedicates the award to all the kids who watch Glee and have to take shit at school: "Screw that, kids!" Aw.

Commercials; mingling; short-term memory panic typing.