omg someone please take me to see some movies
Please welcome! Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Lopez babbling about music and singing and judging (because, American Idol, and things! do we see what she did there!) and things getting awkward. Not more awkward than this bit.
Best Original Song
“Bound to You,” Burlesque (performed by Christina Aguilera; written by Samuel Dixon, Christina Aguilera and Sia Furler)
“Coming Home,” Country Strong (performed by Gwyneth Paltrow; written by Bob PiPiero, Tom Douglas, Hillary Lindsey, Troy Verges)
“I See the Light,” Tangled (performed by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi; written by Alan Menken & Glenn Slater)
“There’s a Place For Us,” The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (performed by Carrie Underwood; written by Carrie Underwood, David Hodges, Hillary Lindsey)
“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet,” Burlesque (performed by Cher; written by Diane Warren)
Oh, there's your reason for Carrie Underwood. And... Cher wins? For Burlesque? Wow. That's a thing that happens. Also, I have not mentioned that Jennifer Lopez is wearing white with some sort of... sheer... glitter... shoulder poncho. A tearful, somewhat Liza-esque Diane Warren is the actual winner. Also!
Best Original Score
Inception, Hans Zimmer
The King’s Speech, Alexandre Desplat
The Social Network, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Alice in Wonderland, Danny Elfman
127 Hours, A.R. Rahman
I genuinely loved the Inception score, by the way. And I always get clappy for Desplat. Trent Reznor (!) wins--also a good score (IMO), but Reznor seems as surprised as the rest of us. I believe he's doing the score for Fincher's Girl with the Dragon Tattoo as well.
Commercials. It's still not 8 pm, so I'm holding the post until the next break. Also: they are shilling Rango SO HARD.
Jesus take the wheel, they saddled Hailee Steinfeld with Justin Bieber. What did she ever do to them? No one in this room has any idea who he is. Btw: Steinfeld is the current rumor front-runner for Katniss in The Hunger Games. I endorse this candidate.
Best Animated Feature
How to Train Your Dragon
Toy Story 3
Toy Story 3 is a pretty foregone conclusion; everyone claps politely. I'm not sure what Toy Story ever did to Jennifer Love Hewitt, but she looks particularly strained. Man, Colin Firth out there in the audience is really... fluffy. Matt Damon does not have time for this. Tom Hanks looks mellow and avuncular. Brad and Angelina are totally cuddling in the back. Seriously, she is just sacked out on his shoulder like they're on the couch at home.
Gervais brings a glass or something or other up to the stage. He loves the star of "Iron Man... Two Girls and a Guy... Wonder Boys... These are porn films! You may know him best from The Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail." OH MY GOD REALLY. "Robert Downey Jr.!"
"I don't know if an actress can do her best work until I've slept with her... JULIANNE." And we go from there with the innuendo. (Angelina Jolie simply gives him this flat kind of "O rly" kind of look from Brad Pitt's shoulder when he gets to her, which is hysterical.) All I know is, the bit ends with, "I'd give it to all five of you... at once. In front of my wife. And this audience." So that is also a thing that happened.
Best Actress — Musical or Comedy
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A
Winner: Annette Bening, who thanks "her partner" Julianne Moore. Aw. I'm going to hit post before someone runs with the fact that they played lesbians.