Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Golden Globes #7
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cleolinda
Gervais: "Our next presenters are young, and thin, with the hair, and lovely teeth. Which is just as well, because they're presenting Best Foreign Film, which no one in America cares about!" Please welcome! Robert Pattinson and Olivia Wilde's gigantic black tulle ballgown! Seriously, I had to get on Twitter and ask who it was wearing.

Best Foreign Language Film
Biutiful
The Concert
The Edge
I Am Love
In a Better World

Winner: In a Better World, the Danish film. I... I was on Twitter, so I didn't hear what happened next. Presumably no one was torn to pieces. They've probably already thrown Bieber to the wolves anyway.

Please welcome! Helen Mirren! To present a clip from The King's Speech, which I really want to see!

Oh dear God help I'm falling behind Vanessa Williams is wearing beige and it is nice she might even win the Battle of the Beige because

Best Actress — Musical or Comedy
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Lea Michele, Glee

Laura Linney is not here to accept her award so Vanessa Williams will accept it on her behalf which will give her a distinct advantage in weaponry! KELLY KELLY SEE IF YOU CAN BORROW STEVE BUSCEMI'S GLOBE! POW!

@DawnTaylor666: I want to see Lea Michele right now, crying or stomping out, or screaming at someone.

Please welcome back! Screen legend! Jane Fonda! Who is... here to present a clip from Burlesque? Really?

Please welcome! TV people! Look, my phone rang, I didn't hear who it was. Kaley Cuoco and someone. Her beige-ish dress may be too yellow for battle, however.

Best Actor — Musical or Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matthew Morrison, Glee
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

And the Golden Globe goes to her costar. "omg! Jim Parsons!" squeaks Cuoco.

PLEASE WELCOME: JEREMY IRONS.

Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom

Winner: Melissa Leo! I am somewhat surprised! But not as much as Melissa Leo is! Steve Buscemi looks weirdly grieved for several seconds, not sure what was up with that. "OMG JEREMY IRONS!!!!" squeals Leo, grabbing his hand, as any woman of taste would. "LOOK MOM I GOT A GOLDEN GLOBE!" Wait, she played "Mark and Christian's mom"? She also thanks someone for "those hours we spent in the Maritime Hotel--NO NO NO! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF GIRL I AM!" God, I think I might back her all the way through the Oscars. "HAY JANE, HAY ANNETTE! WOO HOO!"

Next up: A Bathroom Break Award to Robert De Niro.





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I am loving DiNero's speech so much. He totally deserved the award and HO SHIT. Helen Mirren does look fierce. <3

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