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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Golden Globes #8
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Please welcome! Matt Damon! Pretending he doesn't know who Robert De Niro is! This is going to be a very, very long Cecil B. DeMille award. I mean, even more so than usual. It involves impressions, for God's sake. Although I do enjoy how De Niro "disappears" in Taxi Driver "as a blonde, thirteen-year-old hooker. He just disappears!"

It's a montage! Everybody loves a montage! Y'all, I refuse to recap this. It's ROBERT DE NIRO. He's not done yet. Unless this is Hollywood trying to tell him that Little Fockers means it's time to go home, I don't know. Standing ovation! Wow, he seems to be reading his speech off a teleprompter (he makes some reference to it getting ahead of him and makes a scrolling motion with his hand?). Well, you get the DeMille, I guess you get to do that. Oh dear. I heard something about waiters, Javier Bardem, and full-body scans of Megan Fox. Unless they all walk into a bar together, I don't want to know how that ends. Something just got bleeped out? I'm not sure what? He's selling DVDs in the lobby? I would kind of love if  he had written this out in advance. Also, "you do what you can for the children. You want to keep them in the private schools. Thank you for this!"

Omg I've been going for like two and a half hours. Send my fingers help.

What... what in the name of God was that. That movie commercial. With the garden gnomes. Like. I knew. I knew they were making Gnomeo and Juliet, because it went into turnaround for a while. But... that. What.

Please welcome! Megan Fox! Presumably back from her body scan! "WOO!" She grins and kind of does a head dip. I like her dress, which is pink. I'm not a fan in general, but I ain't gonna lie, either. She's presenting! A clip from! The Tourist? Why, because she bears a slight resemblance to Angelina Jolie? I don't know.

Please welcome! Annette Bening again! "WOO!"

Best Director
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter

David Fincher! "WOOOOOO!" Man, I love him. I mean, just in general. Also, I just realized that he is accepting this award in front of, like... a spiderweb studded with chandelier crystals. I noticed this right after they cut to Andrew Garfield. I'm just saying.

Please welcome! Jimmy Fallon and January Jones! She is wearing a fire-engine red dress that is doing unfortunate things to her boobs from many different angles.

Best TV Series — Musical or Comedy
30 Rock
The Big Bang Theory
The Big C
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie

Winner: Glee. I feel bad saying this, but I just can't watch Glee. I've tried, but the musical style is just... elevator music with words. I mean, I appreicate what they're trying to do; it just doesn't work for me. The Guy Speaking for the Group thanks the public school teachers of America, who are doing very important work, and K BYE SAD VIOLINS NOW.

Please welcome! Alicia Keys! In billowing one-shouldered red! I am guessing she is pregnant! She is here to present a clip from Black Swan, which I REALLY WANT TO SEE. Seriously, this is one of those years where almost anything could win and it would still deserve it. AND YET I HAVE SEEN ALMOST NONE OF THEM.

Please welcome! Halle Berry in black! Because believe me, the audience is welcoming her. "oooooWOOOOoooo."

Best Actor — Musical or Comedy
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack

OH SNAP Paul Giamatti beats out Johnny Depp and Johnny Depp. The sound cuts out, and then I hear, "I'm a little jacked up because I ate five boxes of the Godiva chocolates." And "I had three wives in this movie... yeah, three wives. A trifecta of hotties. I got to smoke and drink, I got paid for it..." Johnny Depp smiles beneficently. "I salute the great nation of Canada!" Yes, but how are their chocolates? And do you have any left over? My fingers are starting to hurt. Oh, what the hell, let's hit post.

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...what happened to Ricky Gervais? Did they fire him mid-show?

apparently not....but it wouldnt surprise me if they did.

Yay, Natalie Portman! I'm so happy for her, because that performance was amazing. And that's the first maternity dress I've seen her in so far that I've actually liked.

HAHAHAHA! I'm loving her speech, including her comment about how Benjamin "totally wants to sleep with me!"

Edited at 2011-01-17 03:37 am (UTC)

Natalie Portman's dress would work if that was just a rosette. The stem and leaves are distracting.

I like the contrast the bright red does with the light pink...but did Natalie Portman really need a GIANT rose right on her boobs?

I agree about Glee, I just can't get into it. I liked how the guy thanked teachers though :)

I'm with you too. I don't DISlike Glee, and some episodes are entertaining. I just can't get into the made Gleek fan love. Sometimes I feel like it's trying THAT much too hard, y'know?

Paul Giamatti is producing a indie movie based on one of my favorite books ever, John Dies at the End. I love him for that.

oh man, PLEASE see Black Swan one of these days, I am really interested in what you'd think of it!

since when is The Tourist a comedy or musical? do they do song and dance numbers?

I was totally wondering the same thing.

Wait, The Tourist is a comedy? I thought it was a thriller.

See, I got the impression that the fact that it was nominated for three freakin' Golden Globes in the first place was the qualification for the comedy part.

Wait, they're making a movie of "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close"? That should be interesting...

Paul cut out because he kept saying Jesus Christ. Idk why that's bleepable.

Yeah, I think someone earlier got bleeped for saying "for Christ's sake."

Agreed about Glee. And I'm a musical theatre geek, so I should totally be its target audience.

Also, I don't comment much, but I have to say I love your award show liveblogs. I'm running in here to catch up on them during the commercials.

You absolutely must see Black Swan!

And thank you for liveblogging, Cleolinda! ^_^


Oh, honey, get the Harley!!