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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Golden Globes #9
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Please welcome! Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Don't mind if I do! He is here to introduce the Inception clip! This is pleasing to me. In large part because I actually managed to see it.

Also please welcome! The Dude!

Best Actress — Drama
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Big cheers for Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams, which is interesting. Portman wins, and someone near the camera (Mila Kunis?) starts shrieking. Huh. That's a red sequin rose, complete with stem and leaves, in the center of her pink bedsheet gown. Oh, why not. You're pregnant, you get to wear whatever you want. She says hi to her Grandma Bernice, "and I hope you're having a drink." Aw. She's--what? Talking about how her fiancé is a good actor because he really does want to sleep with her? WELL, OBVIOUSLY.

Please welcome, to paraphrase Ricky Gervais: The incredibly talented, rich and powerful Tom Hanks! And also, Tim Allen. Hanks remembers when Gervais "was a slightly chubby and very nice comedian." Allen: "Neither of which he is now." Look, people, Ricky Gervais is rude. I don't even like him, but that's his schtick. They hired him to be rude. You want to complain--and, granted, it is odd to have the rudest host at the ass-kissingest awards show--take it up with them what hired him. Because he's being pretty horrible, but this is also his second year doing it, so he's clearly been given a vote of confidence on the nastiness.

If they have a different host next year, though, I'm pretty sure you'll know who to thank.

Best Picture — Musical or Comedy
Alice in Wonderland
The Kids Are All Right
The Tourist

Big cheers for The Kids Are All Right! And thank God, because Burlesque? Seriously?

When we return, the room sounds restless and slightly angry; I have no idea what Gervais has been up there saying. Please welcome! Sandra Bullock! In one-shoulder beige and too-long bangs! She will totally not see Vanessa Williams coming.

Best Actor — Drama
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter

EEEEEE! Colin Firth! I'm not gonna fight y'all for World's Biggest Colin Firth Fan or anything, but it seems like it would be nice for this to be his year. He thanks his "exquisite, no-nonsense queen Helena," as well as a "triangle of man love" and "Geoffrey, who has become my true friend and my geisha girl." And suddenly, an entire subsection for The King's Speech springs into being on fanfiction.net. 

Next: a ~surprise guest~ announces Best Picture. This would probably be more dramatic if I hit post right here.

PLEASE WELCOME! Michael Douglas! Uh. That would have been more surprising if we hadn't seen him and CZJ on the carpet, but I understand what they were going for. Standing ovation! "WOOOOOOOOO!" "There's gotta be an easier way to get a standing ovation," he quips.

Best Picture — Drama
Black Swan
The Fighter
The King’s Speech
The Social Network

Winner: The Social Network. Well, after Screenplay and Director, you had to see that coming. Barring the twists and turns of heavy campaigning, you could be looking at your Oscars right here. Scott Rudin: "I want to thank everyone at Facebook, and Mark Zuckerberg, for letting us use his life to tell a story." Huh. Is this one of those "do now, ask forgiveness later" things? And then he calls Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield up on stage--bless their hearts for not even going up there for the movie they starred in.

Annnnnd back to Gervais one last time: "Well done. Justice there. And thank you for all being good sports"--I was saying something about asking forgiveness later, wasn't I? Enjoy that phone call from Tom Hanks tomorrow--"and thank you to God, for making me an atheist." 'Scuse me while I go ice my hands.

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Yay! You did it! Thanks for the liveblogging; these posts are the highlights of the season every year for me.

Just for the record, the "geisha girl" line was from the movie. :-) Which you really, really must see when you get the chance! I've been practically grabbing people off the streets and pushing them into the theater, it's so good.

I second the thanks! (ESP. as I went away to watch Downton Abbey in the middle.) Fantastic job as always!

She's--what? Talking about how her fiancé is a good actor because he really does want to sleep with her? WELL, OBVIOUSLY.

I'm guessing that's a reference to the scene in Black Swan where the ballet company's director asks the male lead (played by Natalie Portman's now real-life fiancé), in reference to Natalie-as-Nina-as-Odile/Odette, "Would you fuck that girl?" and the answer is no.

Well, yeah (even I knew who he played in the movie). I just thought it was funny that she had to go on about that when she's hugely pregnant. Yeah, I'd say.

I noticed the crowd-grumbling after the last commercial break, too. I can only imagine what Ricky must have been saying while he wasn't on air.

I didn't notice grumbling right after the commercial, but he did introduce Sandra Bullock by saying she would never take public transportation ever again because she told him backstage that poor people are smelly.

Okay, this I do not know: How was The Tourist a comedy? Or was it a musical? Because through the previews and what I read about it, it did not strike me as either.

It's not either, that's why everybody was laughing when Gervais took the piss out of it. It sucked so badly they had to nominate it in a category where it stood more of a chance. It seems they didn't have many good options for Best Comedy/Musical this year - which also explains Burlesque.

I've actually read that The Social Network isn't really true to life. The screenwriters took liberties, like all biopics do, but perhaps even more so. In any event, Zuckerberg comes off looking more like a badass rebel and no lasting harm was done. *shrugs*

I am stunned that atheist line made it into the show.
That and the remark about Scientology will probably mean we get a different host next year.

Finally, kudos to you for liveblogging this! Rest your fingers, put your feet up, and take care of yourself. :)

The remark didn't trigger the "stuff we are listening for," so got past the silencers.

I'm so happy for Colin. He really deserves all the praise he's getting for his performance in The King's Speech.

IDK if you've seen this on Tumblr yet but it just made my night. XD

That pic is a thing of beauty. Bless Kermit!Bale, may it never die.

I truly love and look forward to you doing this each year. Thanks so, so much for sharing your talent with us!


Is this one of those "do now, ask forgiveness later" things?

Nah, that's probably sincere. They have to secure life rights first.

And thanks for the liveblogs! I missed the early parts due to a birthday dinner!

Well, the thing is, it was based on a book, and I figured that's what they bought the rights to.

Well, apparently people were giving Ricky Gervais crap about not being "edgy" enough last year...so yeah. This is what you get. I don't know if I ever heard the audience laugh, just gasp and mumble awkwardly.

I vote RDJ hosts next year. Then we'll really have a show!

They laughed at part of the Hugh Hefner joke, and they laughed at his interaction with Steve Carell because they can at least rest assured that the nastiness between them is staged for the purpose of having a running gag at awards shows. That's all I can recall of his bests getting huge reactions.

THANK YOU CLEO for making my night that much more hilarious.

Also: YAY Colin Firth and LOL at all the gifs on Tumblr right now.

I just caught up with reading all of your posts. This was awesome Cleo, fabulous as always. Also, I wanted to let you know that you inspired me to do my own live-blogging-type-thing of the Golden Globes this year. Pretty sure my parents and friends were the only ones who read it, but it was still really fun! Thanks for the inspiration! Check it out if you have time (or care, lol).


Yaaay Portman and Firth. BLACK SWAN may well be the role of her career. Congrats to her on the win, and in finding one of the few heterosexual men in Ballet :)
And KING'S SPEECH is very good AND Rush's character is from Perth. Wooo!

btw- Cannot stand Gervais...


I missed getting to watch this because of work, so thank you so much for liveblogging. I really enjoyed reading this! :D