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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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SAG Awards liveblog #6
yahoo oscars bronze
Please welcome! Susan Sarandon! Wow, there are some SCREAMS out in the audience. I mean, she looks good, but damn.

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
CHRISTIAN BALE / Dicky Eklund – “THE FIGHTER” (Paramount Pictures)
JOHN HAWKES / Teardrop – “WINTER’S BONE” (Roadside Attractions)
JEREMY RENNER / James Coughlin – “THE TOWN” (Warner Bros. Pictures)
GEOFFREY RUSH / Lionel Logue – “THE KING’S SPEECH” (The Weinstein Company)

Okay, these people are trashed, because there are screams ("WOOOO!") after every single nominee clip ("WOOOOO!!"). Christian Bale wins, again, to more screams ("WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"). Okay, maybe he just slicked the Jesus back, I think it's still there. He, like LL Cool J, is also in black-on-black-on-black. "Bloody hell, this is heavy!" Someone comes up to the podium, and--who? I have no idea? What is going on? "Thank you for letting me play you!" What in the name of God is going on. Is this a true story. I don't even know. Oh my God Christian Bale is so British. I am not used to this. He has now said "bloody" more times in this one speech than I have ever heard him say in my entire moviegoing life. Well, I suppose it's better than the Batvoice. They don't even try to play him off.

Please welcome! Amy Adams in white and Mark Wahlberg in not nominated with a clip from The Fighter! "Are we--are we supposed to give an acceptance speech? I told Christian he was not going to win tonight--" Someone screams out something, I have no idea. It kind of sounded like Christian Bale screaming "LIAHHHHH!" It would be really funny if it was. Actually, I am now hearing reports that it was Bale shouting "WANKER!" This is officially the best awards show ever. Jesus, I hope he wins the Oscar. Also, Mark Wahlberg would like to give a shoutout to Boardwalk Empire, on which I believe he is a producer.

Please welcome! Jeff Bridges! "WOOOO!!!" I'm just used to it now.

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
NICOLE KIDMAN / Becca – “RABBIT HOLE” (Lionsgate)
JENNIFER LAWRENCE / Ree Dolly – “WINTER’S BONE” (Roadside Attractions)
NATALIE PORTMAN / Nina Sayers – “BLACK SWAN” (Fox Searchlight Pictures)
HILARY SWANK / Betty Anne Waters – “CONVICTION” (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Oh, wow, the back of Natalie Portman's hair is fantastic, kind of wavy and '30s (she wins, obviously). "I'm so glad to have this union" (UNION! UNION!) "protecting me every day." Also, the word "asshole" is bleeped out, as in--something along the lines of "my parents taught me not to be an asshole"?--which makes me even happier that we have Christian Bale around this year to scream British obscenities that no one understands. Commercials (WOOOO!).

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Christan Bale is the only thing keeping this award show interesting.

Also, its been like a little women reunion tonight!

(AND YAY! Colin Firth! I love you, just the way you are!)

Donald Sutherland....What the hell did you grow on your face?

The guy on stage with Bale was the real Dicky Eklund, who Bale played in the film. Yes, it's a true story. :)

Well, that had to give it to Bale: It's his birthday!

I have officially fallen back in love with Christian Bale. They need to have an open bar at the Oscars, just for him :)

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