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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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pallas cat - blue steel
Good news: getting a lot of writing done. Bad news: the last slat fell out of my bed late last night and I had to sleep, for inferior values of "sleep," on the couch. Explanation of bad news: I have an old hand-me-down queen-sized bed (it has appeared in Secret Life pictures a couple of times) that I ended up with after my mother and stepfather got married and merged their furniture. It's great and all, but it has only three, loosely-fitting wooden slats beneath the box spring; they tend to shift diagonally over time until one falls out and onto the floor. Well, me being a lazy cuss, I was like, "What? There's some boxes under the bed, it'll hold." Because wrestling with the various slabs of mattress on that bed is a two-person job, and wahhhhh I don't wanna. Well, here we are seven months later: I'm sleeping on two fallen slats, a packing box, four piles of old magazines and a precariously sunken mattress. Because I rock it classy like that. And then the other shoe--or slat, rather--dropped. Which wouldn't even have stopped me except that the bed was severely tilted towards the headboard and shuddered weirdly when I sat on it. So the couch it was.

I did not sleep very well, is what I'm saying.

Which is pretty much what the couch looked like by the time the dogs had finished piling onto me.

Meanwhile, longtime reader spectralbovine writes,

I'm raising money for 826 Valencia, which provides writing workshops for students from elementary school through high school as well as resources for teachers. They offer one-on-one tutoring for everything from fiction to college application essays. They even publish their work in books, which does wonders for their self-esteem and confidence. They also run the pirate store in the Mission, and I try to support them when I can because I believe in their mission to promote the literary arrrrrrts.

On February 17, 826 Valencia is hosting a Spelling Bee for Cheaters. I am on a fundraising team of LIBRARIANS (Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe), and the more money we raise as a team, the more we can cheat in order to beat such luminaries as Pulitzer Prize-winner Michael Chabon and the inimitable Lemony Snicket, not to mention Adam Savage from Mythbusters, John Vanderslice, and Tracy Chapman. Of course, the real reason we're raising money is to benefit the children. Every little bit, from $1 to $100, helps keep these programs free for students. It's a great organization and a fun fundraiser that I think would be relevant to your readership! I'm trying to raise $5,000, and I think I can pull it off with everyone's help. Here's my donation page. Thanks!

While you consider this, I have to go assist my mother. She's now under the bed with a hammer. "Your job," she says, "is to call for help."


@cleolinda: I just found a bottle of 1995 cabernet sauvignon under my bed. I HAVE NO IDEA.

There's wine under my bed and you're invited!Collapse )

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I blame the dolls. Maybe Anna put it there for her own use later.

Ahhh, that explains the wine... sort of.

I totally understand about the mattress fail. When my grandmother died and we moved into our apartment, I inherited her twin sized guest bed since the water bed I previously owned was too big for my room. However, after a few years of moderate use (I mean, I spend a lot of time on my bed what with sleeping and fiddling with my laptop), one of the bed springs wore a hole in the mattress and was beginning to do the same to me.

Due to the expense of mattresses, I've had to resort to using air mattresses in the meantime. It's not a bad substitute, but occasionally they develop leaks, so I have to keep replacing them.

Annnnd I realized I've rambled for far too long about this...

second verse, same as the first...

Okay, do-over....

ME: Cleolinda found wine under her bed.


Okay, Internets hates my anecdotes - amusing or not.

(Goes off to sulk and do homework......**pout**)

But now I want to know what he said!

*snorts with laughter at Bill O'Reilly macro*

I wonder what you left under your pillow in order to get quality bottles of wine? ;)

I don't have the time to check all the replies to see whether someone has already pointed this out, but...

As a German (tm), I can confirm that the white wine is also quite a catch. "Auslese" means the wine has met very strict standards, and would almost certainly be pricey. It will also be rather sweet - this is intentional, as this is more of a dessert wine. To get you an idea of where "Auslese" ranks in the hierarchy of German wines:


Tafelwein (table wine) - or any wine that does not have the word Qualitätswein on the bottle. Base level wine, no special requirements. I might cook with it, or use it for sangria, but not drink it straight.

Qualitätswein (quality wine) - wine of controlled quality. This is the basic requirement for a "nice bottle of wine". No sugar may be added to the wine after fermentation (though some can be added to the grape juice before fermentation).

Kabinett (cabinet) - Meets all the requirements for Qualitätswein, and must not have any sugar added - the grapes themselves were sweet enough.

Spätlese - (late harvest) - Meets all the requirements for Kabinett, and was picked "late", i.e., a while after the main harvest. As a result, the grapes have gotten sweeter, yielding a sweeter and/or more aromatic wine (sometimes also higher proof); starting to be more dessert-wine-like.

Auslese - (selected late harvest) - Meets all the requirements for Spätlese (notice a pattern?), but grapes were hand-picked to select only the best grape clusters. Sweeter (and costlier) than Spätlese.

Beerenauslese - (selected "berry" late harvest ) - Like Auslese, but instead of just hand-picking the best clusters, they actually hand-pick the best individual grapes. Even pricier and tastier.

Trockenbeerenauslese (selected dry "berry" late harvest) - Like Beerenauslese, but harvested late enough that the grapes have actually started turning into raisins. Sweet, intense, and expensive.

Eiswein ("ice wine") - The drying grapes are left on the vine long enough to experience the first frost, and are harvested after having undergone freezing. Not every year yields Eiswein, because bad weather might rot grapes before the first frost. When they manage to make it, it's very sweet, downright concentrated, and insanely expensive.


So, the Auslese you got is three steps about just a nice bottle of wine. It's liable to be a damn fine bottle of wine. Though the sweetness might not do it for non-German palates.

Now why can't I randomly find bottles of Auslese under my bed?

Also, sorry for the long post. I grew up in German wine country and tend to ramble about wine... (and anything else)

Ooh! See, the irony is... I'm not much of a wine drinker. I tend to prefer sweet if anything.

Heh. I just checked into the winery itself, and found out that they're the ones also making Liebfraumilch and Schwarze Katze. Uh. Yeah. Hopefully, the "Auslese is pretty much always fancy wine" and the "this is the winery that makes the two wines that the German bums won't drink so we export it to other countries hoping they'll buy it" will average out to "good wine after all".

Seriously, though, plenty companies make some cheap awful stuff and then their more expensive stuff is actually quite high-quality; chances are that's true for this winery also.

In any case, most importantly, I hope you will like it! After all, that's the only thing that matters really. And it's still a mindboggling story.

Your surprise alcohol find reminds me of discovering, at a young and adventurous age, that my mom was growing angel trumpets in our yard. Note to future self-- do not cultivate hallucinogenic plants while raising teenagers.

What I thought throughout this entire post was "Man, the SLoD gang have been partying in style!"

I bet Edward was the one who ordered such classy wine.