Sami and Lucas. Sami shrieking about not believing in love because her mother killed her father. Lucas: "Don't give up on love! You gotta keep believing! You gotta give love a chance!" Direct quote, I swear.
Chez Kiriakis. Brady's in a Suspicious of Nicole mood today. Nicole is hitting the highballs. Crystal calls and tells Nicole they're on track.
The Worst-Run Jail in the World. Marlena seems to be... not shot. All right. John comes in and starts strangling Bo. "DAMN THE BOOK, BO!" They shout at each other for about half an hour. John's eyebrows are leaping all over his face like coked-up caterpillars. John wants to go to her and convince her to surrender peacefully, which is what Marlena HAS BEEN TRYING TO DO, except that they keep shooting at her. Commercials.
Jennifer's house. Jennifer stammers that Patrick can't leave. She desperately tries to think of something to make him stay. Then she asks if he remembers the guy's face (flashback to Patrick telling Nefarious Guy to step off) and he says Shawn's parents will take care of it. Finally Jennifer breaks down and is just like, "Please, don't go!" Aww.
Chez Kiriakis. Suspicious! Bitter! Suspicious! Bitter! Nicole compares Brady to John and says that he doesn't trust her because he doesn't love her the way John loves Marlena. Brady gives her this look like, "I love Chloe. And your point is...?"
The Worst-Run Jail in the World. Bo and John argue. The cops call in and say that Marlena is pointing the gun at them, which she clearly is not--well, she is stupid enough to hold the gun and then flail around in their general direction when they shoot at her. John gets his Daniel Day-Lewis on ("STAY ALIVE! I WILL FIND YOU!") and runs off to the roof and Hope just holds Bo back and lets him go. Worst. Run. Jail. Intheworld. Commercials.
Jennifer's house. Jennifer all but throws herself at Patrick. "It is so. good. to have. a man in the house. And not just because you can use a wrench." Bom-chicka-wow-wow! She cites the two baby-saving incidences, the wedding ring down the sink, and the retrieval of her bonds. They clearly want each other. He has to go. Probably because he does want her. Because this is that kind of show. Patrick leaves. Jennifer weeps.
Sami's apartment. Lucas: "We've gotten very close lately." If by "close" you mean "in each other's pants." Sami says that her feelings for him "are still so messed up." She adds that sometimes she wants to kill him, the implication being that Marlena makes this feeling seem a lot more literal, and that scares her. This is probably the most self-aware I have ever seen Sami.
The Worst-Run Jail in the World. Bo and Hope argue. Bo: "IT ENDS HERE, TONIGHT!" "Tonight" will probably take two weeks.
Roof of the Worst-Run Jail in the World. More shooting, more crying. Action John! runs to the roof. "Hang on, baby, I'm comin'!" Bo is hot on his heels. Fight! Fight! Commercials.
Chez Kiriakis. Still arguing. The fight breaks up. "Maybe there's some late-breaking news!" says Nicole, walking away, and sees... what? DUN DUN DUN!
Jennifer's house. Jennifer is sitting in the window, playing "Somewhere Out There" in her head and crying for
The Cheatin' Heart. Patrick sits down with Nefarious Guy and tells him that he's moved out of Jennifer's house. This pisses Nefarious Guy off. We are reminded that he came to Salem to hook up with Jennifer for a (nefarious) reason. Death threats are exchanged. Patrick leaves, but then two thugs jump him just outside the door, apparently on psychic command from Nefarious Guy. Commercials.
Jennifer's house. Abby blames herself about the internet search she ran and the things she accused him off, recapping that for us, and Jennifer denies that he left for that reason. "But he seemed to be hiding something..." adds Jennifer.
The Cheatin' Heart. Patrick tries to rumble with them fair and square, but soon there's four thugs and one has a garotte. That ain't good.
Sami's apartment. Lucas is desperately trying to get back into Sami's pants. They kiss timidly, working up to a full-on makeout session and--"WILL!" Dammit. Sami leaves to put "more salt on the popcorn." "Is Mom better now?" asks Will. Lucas: "Well, she was doin' fine until YOU had to come out here and mess up my game, man. Dude! Cockblocked by my own kid!"
Will moans that Grandma Marlena "is really gonna die, isn't she?" Thanks for the optimism, kid.
Roof of the Worst-Run Jail in the World. GODDAMMIT, MARLENA, COULD YOU PUT DOWN THE GUN? The chopper shoots at her, but she manages to not get hit. Bo and John fight just on the other side of the door. John declares that Bo will have to kill him first. Bo gnashes his teeth. Commercials.
Jennifer's house. Abby whines. Abby always whines. She and Jennifer talk about Patrick, then Jennifer sends her to bed. Tires squealing, a car pulls up at her house and--well, I know what happens, guessing by the preview. Jennifer: "Oh my gosh!" She totally reminds me of my high school English teacher Mrs. Mouchette.
Chez Kiriakis. Nicole babbles about spam on her email. It's probably an email she actually got from either Jan or Crystal.
Sami's apartment. Sami insists to Will that Marlena's name will be cleared, slipping ever further into denail. She looks at Lucas over Will's shoulder and pleads with him silently not to contradict her. They turn on the TV: "Dr. Marlena Evans, armed and dangerous, has escaped!" Footage of Marlena appearing to shoot at people. Sami starts crying. Oh, good.
Roof of the Worst-Run Jail in the World. Marlena sobs. She can hear John yelling on the other side of the door--"SAVE ME!"--and the chopper continues to shoot at her. John axes the door open even as Hope holds Bo back and runs out to Marlena.
Bo [on radio]: "DAMMIT, HOLD YOUR FIRE!"
Sharpshooter: "What'd he say?"
Chopper pilot: "He said 'Fire.' Shoot to kill."
My eyeroll takes us into commercials.
Jennifer's house. Jennifer finds Patrick's bloodied body out on the lawn.
Chez Kiriakis. Ah, here's what Nicole is looking at on her computer: video footage of Marlena ducking on the roof.
Sami's apartment. The news announces that Bo has asked them to shoot to kill.
Roof of the Worst-Run Jail in the World. Bo is still shouting for them to HOLD their fire. John tries to inch out there. The sharpshooter lands a beautiful shot in the middle of her chest. She falls into John's arms as he weeps.
Previews: Oh my God, John is actually seen snarling at Bo, "...MY WIFE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE."
...I'm not going to believe it until I see her put into the ground, man. And I still would not put Zombie!Marlena past them.