THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST OSCARS EVER.
And we open with a montage of bits of the nominated movies set to--what is it, "Hall of the Mountain King," as used in The Social Network? I always loved how jauntily sinister that song is. And then... that whole "put the hosts in scenes from the movies" bit, through the framework of Alec Baldwin's dreams à la Inception. Man, I am such a grinch about this stuff. I always feel hugely embarrassed for everyone involved, and then they play actual winners off the stage because James Franco in a bearskin and Anne Hathaway in two eye patches took up ten solid minutes. Although I did enjoy when Morgan Freeman showed up and started narrating it. And for some reason, "I have good news from the future! Microphones get smaller!" for The King's Speech (and Anne Hathaway winking at Colin Firth therein) made me laugh harder than it should have. And then, Hathaway is prancing around in a duck outfit. You win some, you lose some.
And then BACK TO THE FUTURE SCENE OUT OF NOWHERE. Maybe because it's the movie's 25th anniversary? I don't even know.
THANK GOD WE ARE ON THE ACTUAL STAGE. Also, I really like Hathaway's first dress (white/cream with lots of sparkly). Franco: STILL STONED. Hathaway: "Thank you, James. You look very appealing to a younger demographic as well!" We are compelled to note that Hathaway is not nominated. Franco asks what he gets if he wins. "Like... money?" "Prestige!" "But... it would be weird if, like, my mom went around calling me, like... Oscar winner James Franco." And they say hi to their moms! Hathaway's tells her to stand up straight and makes "hold your chest up" motions. "REALLY, MOM? IN FRONT OF A BILLION PEOPLE?" Franco's grandma stands up: "I just saw Marky Mark!" Also, Hathaway: "It's been a great year for lesbians! Dancing lesbians! Toy Story 3! Where's the daaaad?"
Random montage from Gone with the Wind is random.
Please welcome! Tom Hanks! I think he just said that Gone with the Wind was the first movie to win Best Picture, Art Direction, and Cinematography; the last movie to do so was... Titanic. Let's talk about Titanic, shall we? Here's another montage. P.S. Leonardo DiCaprio was a baby.
“Alice in Wonderland”
Production Design: Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Karen O'Hara
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas; Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat
“The King's Speech”
Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Judy Farr
Production Design: Jess Gonchor; Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh
Huh. Big applause for Inception out in the audience; a couple of whistles for True Grit. Alice in Wonderland wins, to a deep WOOOOO! out in the audience--aw, HBC kisses Tim Burton on the cheek. Jaunty music! Robert Stromberg: "Augh! Why didn't I lose that twenty pounds?" God bless this guy, he sounds scared out of his mind. White as a ghost. And then he pulls out a tiny Mad Hatter hat (I think?) and puts it on the Oscar. HEEEEEEE.
“Black Swan” Matthew Libatique
“Inception” Wally Pfister
“The King's Speech” Danny Cohen
“The Social Network” Jeff Cronenweth
“True Grit” Roger Deakins
Back to Tom Hanks! "These envelopes are works of art in themselves, the Oscar goes to Wally Pfister for Inception." You know, I also love Roger Deakins, but I am so pleased with this. Pfister gestures to "my master, Christopher Nolan" in the audience. Big applause. "You're takin' up my time!" It won't make up for Inception not even being nominated for Best Editing, but it's a start.