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Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Oscar liveblog #2
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Okay, look. I know we were all going to make "James Franco is such a stoner" jokes. I figured he'd smoke up before the show but at least try to hide it. But they just had him on the ABC pre-show and he was actually, righteously high. Red eyes, dazed look, fumbled over his words, started giggling incoherently.


And we open with a montage of bits of the nominated movies set to--what is it, "Hall of the Mountain King," as used in The Social Network? I always loved how jauntily sinister that song is. And then... that whole "put the hosts in scenes from the movies" bit, through the framework of Alec Baldwin's dreams à la Inception. Man, I am such a grinch about this stuff. I always feel hugely embarrassed for everyone involved, and then they play actual winners off the stage because James Franco in a bearskin and Anne Hathaway in two eye patches took up ten solid minutes. Although I did enjoy when Morgan Freeman showed up and started narrating it. And for some reason, "I have good news from the future! Microphones get smaller!" for The King's Speech (and Anne Hathaway winking at Colin Firth therein) made me laugh harder than it should have. And then, Hathaway is prancing around in a duck outfit. You win some, you lose some.

And then BACK TO THE FUTURE SCENE OUT OF NOWHERE. Maybe because it's the movie's 25th anniversary? I don't even know.

THANK GOD WE ARE ON THE ACTUAL STAGE. Also, I really like Hathaway's first dress (white/cream with lots of sparkly). Franco: STILL STONED. Hathaway: "Thank you, James. You look very appealing to a younger demographic as well!" We are compelled to note that Hathaway is not nominated. Franco asks what he gets if he wins. "Like... money?" "Prestige!" "But... it would be weird if, like, my mom went around calling me, like... Oscar winner James Franco." And they say hi to their moms! Hathaway's tells her to stand up straight and makes "hold your chest up" motions. "REALLY, MOM? IN FRONT OF A BILLION PEOPLE?" Franco's grandma stands up: "I just saw Marky Mark!" Also, Hathaway: "It's been a great year for lesbians! Dancing lesbians! Toy Story 3! Where's the daaaad?"

Random montage from Gone with the Wind is random.

Please welcome! Tom Hanks! I think he just said that Gone with the Wind was the first movie to win Best Picture, Art Direction, and Cinematography; the last movie to do so was... Titanic. Let's talk about Titanic, shall we? Here's another montage. P.S. Leonardo DiCaprio was a baby.

Art Direction
“Alice in Wonderland”
Production Design: Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Karen O'Hara
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1”
Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas; Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat
“The King's Speech”
Production Design: Eve Stewart; Set Decoration: Judy Farr
“True Grit”
Production Design: Jess Gonchor; Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

Huh. Big applause for Inception out in the audience; a couple of whistles for True Grit. Alice in Wonderland wins, to a deep WOOOOO! out in the audience--aw, HBC kisses Tim Burton on the cheek. Jaunty music! Robert Stromberg: "Augh! Why didn't I lose that twenty pounds?" God bless this guy, he sounds scared out of his mind. White as a ghost. And then he pulls out a tiny Mad Hatter hat (I think?) and puts it on the Oscar. HEEEEEEE.

“Black Swan” Matthew Libatique
“Inception” Wally Pfister
“The King's Speech” Danny Cohen
“The Social Network” Jeff Cronenweth
“True Grit” Roger Deakins

Back to Tom Hanks! "These envelopes are works of art in themselves, the Oscar goes to Wally Pfister for Inception." You know, I also love Roger Deakins, but I am so pleased with this. Pfister gestures to "my master, Christopher Nolan" in the audience. Big applause. "You're takin' up my time!" It won't make up for Inception not even being nominated for Best Editing, but it's a start.

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Am I evil if I want to see Kirk start chasing Anne around the stage?

Geesh, Helena, nice face. Try to look proud of yourself, not sheepish. :-)

This is so awkward! I feel like they're tanking badly. I hated the family bit.

I agree, these two could be in for a long night. He doesn't seem to know where he is and she seems to be trying to hard.

I am pleased to say that the only two Oscar nominated movies my wife and I watched together were the first two winners.

I don't know about Franco, but Anne Hathaway is giving a great performance as host. *Is having fond memories of her dancing with Hugh Jackman in a previous year's opening ceremony.*

I like Hathaway too, she does a good job, but I wish she'd have a different co-host because the chemistry between her and Franco leaves something to be desired.

Love Anne but feel like she's making too many jokes about the fact that she and Franco were hired to boost ratings in the younger demographic.

This is an adorable old man. I want to adopt him as my grandpa.

Whoa, you two, get a room!

I wanna pinch Kirk Douglas's cheeks.

OOOOO Somebody just got bleeped.

Like the commenter in the other post, I'm in King Colin's Oscar-less land (WTF, TV stations?), so thank you even more than usual, Cleo!

... all I hear from the wise interwebz re: the Hathaway/Franco routine sounds a bit excruciating, tbh.

OMG, I actually got the first two wins right...? #patheticlife Watch me get all the others wrong. Except for Colin Firth's win, because man, that be the upset to end all upsets.

Back to the Future scene because it was Franco's dream, of course!

There's going to be some big Back to the Future thing later this evening for the anniversary, I believe.

I would like Mila dress more if it werent so lacy. It reminds me of bad lingerie.

I don't usually watch the Oscars, but I'm kind of digging this. I think Anne Hathaway is so cute. She's hilarious.

Also: Mila Kunis: Great rack. Just sayin'.

And great...mysterious bit of lace sticking out of her bodice.

Yeah, I kind of thought she had tattoos at first.

Also, I love your icon.

Yay Toy Story 3!

(Also, tiny Hatter hat FTW.)

It was wildly apparent in that preshow bit that he's horrifically nervous (smoked up or not) on top of everything else. At this point I'll be kind of surprised if he makes it through the show.

BTW your Cleo on the red carpet icon makes me so excited because it reminds me of all the other liveblog fun :)

Awww, Kirk Douglas.

I wonder if James Franco has any papers due this week. It seems to be midterm season for a lot of people.

Franco pulled an all-nighter for a paper, and then smoked a j before going on stage. JUSTSAYING. I dunno, I'm kind of digging all the real, awkward moments...much more interesting to me than Billy Crystal musical numbers!

Okay, glad to see that I wasn't imagining how very high James Franco was in that interview. I was very concerned that if he wasn't high, he was having some sort of absent seizure.

Having seen the whole show now (all computers are too far from the tvs for me to read and watch at the same time, so I always catch up with your blog after the fact), James was rather useless and Anne was really, really, trying and sort of hitting and missing. And so all-American sweet I expected her smile to ping.

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