Cleolinda Jones (cleolinda) wrote,
Cleolinda Jones

Oscar liveblog #5

Here's Anne Hathaway in a girly tux and a ponytail! There is a tradition of singing at the Oscars (OH GOD NO)! She wanted to sing a duet, but SOMEONE BACKED OUT. A HUGH JACKASS, as it were. With HUGE RETRACTABLE CLAWS, she sings. Hugh Jackman, laughing, flinches backwards in his seat JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL WHAT IS THIS. Here is... James Franco stomping out dressed up like... Marilyn Monroe. You know. The pink dress. And a blonde wig. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, and pink is a stoner's best color. "The weird part is, I just got a text message from Charlie Sheen." "Shall we introduce the next presenters?" "LET'S DO THIS!" *satin glove clap*

Please welcome! Russell Brand and Dame Helen Mirren! "Bon soir," she says, because we need some class in this joint. Then we have a whole business about how she speaks in French and Russell Brand "hilariously" translates her and Colin Firth laughs in the audience, so it must not have been too bad, but I was too embarrassed to listen.

Foreign Language Film
“Biutiful” Mexico
“Dogtooth” Greece
“In a Better World” Denmark
“Incendies” Canada
“Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)” Algeria

Winner: In a Better World. The speech seemed really heartfelt and tearful. I have no idea, because I was too busy trying to write up on the cross-dressing bit. Seriously. THAT HAPPENED.

Oh, Jesus, it's Supporting Actor. Reese Witherspoon! A super mod formal ponytail! Great black dress with white trim on the top! Oh God is Christian Bale going to win is he is he is he.

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in “The Fighter”
John Hawkes in “Winter's Bone”
Jeremy Renner in “The Town”
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right”
Geoffrey Rush in “The King's Speech”

WINNAHHHHHHHHHH. "BLOODY ELL. WHAT A ROOM FULL OF WONDERFUL TALENTED PEOPLE AND WHAT AM I DOING HERE." He and his strangely reddish beard are incredibly happy and poised, comparatively, and just cheerfully go through his huge list of people to thank. "Melissa... I'm not gonna drop the F bomb like she did... I've done that plenty. Micky and Dicky, where's my quacker! He's got a wonderful story, and I can't wait to see the rest of his story. If you need to fight,, he deserves it." And then he tears up when he gets to his wife and daughter. AWWWWW.


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Tags: awards, liveblog, movies, oscars
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