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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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I'll let you know if I become a catpire
twilight lolcat
I can't believe I am having to use the "flesh-eating catbitis" tag aga... wow, that was four years ago? Huh. Anyway, Monday morning, Bad Cat started meowing plaintively at me, and I was like, what? What is it? Your food is right there, your litterbox is clean, what is the deal? You want me to pick you up?

Hard-learned lesson: The answer is never "Pick Bad Cat up."

The thing about a Bad Cat mauling is just when you think he ought to be letting go by now, he digs his fangs in deeper. It's all kind of a blur, really. A long, screamy blur. I was so mad--and also, it hurt--that I just burst into tears. I mean, after I was able to extract my arm. So I'm standing there at the sink scrubbing my wounds with dish soap or whatever, desperately trying to clean up before it's Too Late, sobbing. And I haven't cried since That One Time During Compocalypse '09 When I Started Throwing Things. But things are just really stressful around here right now, what with Sam's health and my grandmother's house and all, and I just did not want to go through the Flesh-Eating Catbitis Saga again--which, to catch you up on that, was an incident in 2007 where Bad Cat bit my thumb and the back of my hand, and my mother insisted I'd be fine, whatevs, walk it off, and then I end up at MedHelp four days later with an angry feverish streak spreading up my arm, two very enthusiastic (if incredulous) doctors, a steroid shot, and a prescription for 1) ~THE CLINDA~ (no relation) and 2) Doxycycline, "the daisy cutter of antibiotics." And I just could not face the prospect of going through that, at this moment, again.

And instead of two deep punctures, this time, I have six.

It's weird, because they kind of look like vampire bites. No lesser teeth or long scratches or anything, I mean. Just nice fangy punctures, two by two. There's one set on the back of my wrist, and I think it's the worst because it's the bony part (well, as bony as you get on me) right over the muscle, as opposed to the fleshy underside. Then, on the inside of my arm, another set, just below the wrist and to the left. Not the worst, but they're still pretty good. There is one fangy scratch on the wrist itself (not counted among the six), and some incidental marks that healed up pretty quickly. Then, all the way down near my elbow, another set--not very deep, but a little bruised. The weird part is, I know that goddamn cat grabbed me with his back claws, but I can't find any scratches--just evenly-spaced fang bites. But how did he bite me at the wrist and the elbow at the same time? I don't know.

So anyway, I'm staggering through the house, clutching my arm, cursing, sobbing, making a tour of Antiseptics We Have Known and Loved. I applied rubbing alcohol. I applied peroxide. I briefly considered Lysol, and then folks on Twitter suggested a vinegar solution, which, while less refreshingly pine-scented, seemed like a better idea in the long run. And finally: the Neosporin ointment and the Band-Aids. Four of them, big giant ones (this seemed more economical at the time) that then ripped off arm hair I didn't even know I had. You know that saying about how it's better to rip the proverbial Band-Aid off all at once? It's not. It's really, really not.

But, even accounting for the redness of forcibly exfoliated patches... yeah. The bite on the back of my hand was getting that telltale, spreading pinkness. 

Kids, do as I say, not as I do. Get your cat bites checked out by a doctor. Don't go dig an old sulfur-based antibiotic (because you are allergic to penicillin) out of the kitchen cabinet and start taking that. You certainly won't be rejoicing when the swelling goes down, because you didn't take recycled medicine in the first place. Because that would be bad, and we don't do that. Right? Yes.

I'm still being very careful with the bites, but they're only pink on the very edges--you know, the way you would expect after having been snacked on. There's still a large sunburned-looking patch on the back of my arm... from the giant depilatory Band-Aid. Everything else, including my eight new tiny Band-Aids, which I change twice a day, seems to be in working order.

For now.

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Somebody needs to tell Bad Cat that 'tis not nice to bite the hand that feeds her. (Send the Edwards after her for a lesson about biting, and who/what/why you shouldn't?)

(Oh, and, I sent you a request on Facebook. If you couldn't possibly handle another adoring fan, I'll understand.)

Ah! I just saw that come in. Thanks!

better stock up on catnip

Lets review basic cat anatomy, if your cat does not look like this?
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Re: better stock up on catnip

Heeee, I posted that same picture on Tumblr, too. Sassypants. Hee.

On the bright side, if the bites turn into scars you could always tell people that Edward nommed on you and see what their reactions are.

Seriously though, I hope they don't actually turn into scars and you don't have to go on another round of antibiotics because that shit is a pain in the ass. Bad cat.

I already have some lovely scars--one's more than four inches long--from these long, shallow scratches Bad Cat gave me. They're pale and weirdly raised--maybe someone can tell me what kind of scar tissue that is. Anyway, one's a perfect diagonal across my wrist, and it so looks like I tried to off myself. When people first see it, they always kind of give me a weird look, and then I turn my arm to the side and show them the even longer one.

The new fangy scratch is right next to the diagonal wrist scar. I guess I'm just lucky that I don't have scars on my scars.

oh no! Hope they get better soon!

Ouch. Hope things work out, and BadCat is suitably chastened. My advice- FARGO style woodchippering!

Try soaking it in Epsom salts. Our monster bites my mom all the time, and her arm just swells up like nothing else. The salt is supposed to draw out any infection. I don't know. It works for her.

Oh owwie. ::winces:: I so understand. I hope you get better soon. I got clawed (not bitten) pretty bad a couple of years ago. It's a bit disconcerting when the ER dr. looks surprised and says "Wow, you really got nailed didn't you!" Uh, yeah, no kidding. I got a tetanus shot and some antibiotics, and the claw marks turned into perfect paw print scars.

Hie thee to a doctor, pronto. Urgent Care, if nothing else.

We went through our own Cat Bite Saga recently. Fortunately, everything has healed up beautifully, with no after effects, but that was due to seeing Urgent Care within twelve hours and getting prescription horse pills for ten days. And we have an exceptionally docile cat. USUALLY.

Get well soon, okay?

Your Bad Cat sounds like my Pudge. He's beautiful, and he does adorable things like rolling over with his paws in the air and rubbing his face against the duvet- and then when you pet him, he grabs your hand with both paws and hangs on. Or he sinks his teeth in and refuses to let go. I got nabbed by him on Sunday- he jumped up on the bed and meowed, I reached out to pat him, and BAM- and now I've got three gouges on my hand because he refused to let go, and just kept grabbing when I shook him loose. He even tried hanging on to my sleeve when I finally got him off my hand. I told him that that was why we had his balls cut off, but he didn't seem too impressed.

I have this insane allergy to most 'tape'. Hospital band-aid comes off? It looks like I've been sunburned.

It makes no damned sense but it's good to keep in mind for anyone. I developed this oddness.

Join the club, I break out into a rash like that too. The first time I had an IV a few hours after the nurses put it in my arm started to itch, then burn...I asked them to check it and one nurse actually (hand to god ) squeaked and jumped back in surprise at the rash slowly covering my arm (I can get them in the hand, my veins say NO). It sucks.

While you're recuperating you should play these Victorian games. Apparently I'd survive Victorian times far better than 1930s Canada.

Ditto. I mostly had trouble choosing the right outfits to wear, but apparently I'm not bold enough for 30's living.

This puts a new and far more ominous slant on that famous song, "The Cat Came Back." He just couldn't stay away.

I honestly didn't know that other people knew that song! At least other people who weren't a) at band camp in Michigan and/or b) related to me.

Second the whole cat scratch fever thing. If you start to get a low-grade temp - high thee to a doctor - state.

Same with the red streaks up your arm thing....infection=evil.

So - does this mean you can only type with one hand?

bad kitty bad!

D: Oh no, I hope it doesn't get infected! My cat does the grabbing your hand thing and nibble when you pet her sometimes, except you can tell she's going, "Eep! Stop it~!!" and if you just stay very very still, she'll only nibble and lick without piercing the skin. But the second you pull away before she's ready to let you go, she'll sink her claws in.