Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Harry Potter is the Biggest Worldwide Debut Ever with $476M. That is to say, nearly half a billion dollars, blowing through the Eclipse midnight record, the New Moon opening day record, and the Dark Knight weekend record. From what I've seen of Comments on the Interwebs, Twilight fans and Batman fans are united in shouting YEAH WELL WAIT TILL OUR LAST MOVIE COMES OUT, and then they realize they're on the same side and run away to wash that icky fanboy/girl off. Whatever helps you sleep at night, kids.

Guillermo Del Toro and Emma Watson for Beauty and the Beast?; David Yates reveals his next project PP (post-Potter) (whoa, The Stand?); How Harry Potter Changed Publishing (three words: midnight release parties); 10 great, and 10 no-so-great, things about Harry Potter. And here's our discussion post, with a--well, not a defense, but an alternate take on the epilogue. Also:

@bestforfilm: We're opening a bar called Harry Shotters. Drinks include Margaritaskeeters, Cedric Daquiris, Mojicho Changs... #harrypotterdrinks

Concoctions include Pinot Gringotts, Episkey Sours, Mudbloody Marys, Blast Ended Skrewtdriver, Hex on the Beach, Ginny and Tonic, Ron and Coke, Creme De Menter, and my favorite, Madame Hooch.

Since y'all have waited ever so patiently, let's skip straight to TheOneRing.net Exclusive: Behold! Thorin Oakenshield and Orcrist! 

I'm still learning to live with the unibrow. Actually, it's not so much the unibrow as the somewhat fake-looking excess of forehead above it, I think.

WB has officially released the Teaser Trailer for The Dark Knight Rises; Nerd Watch: 'The Dark Knight' [fan-made] Trilogy Poster is Pretty Badass.

Nine New Looks at 'The Amazing Spider-Man.'

'Captain America: The First Avenger' will open at Comic-Con; Olly Moss Creates World War 2 Propaganda Posters for 'Captain America'; Eight New Captain America TV Spots; The real reason Captain America doesn't punch Hitler in his new movie. I'm still not sure if I care about this, although it has been pointed out that both Hugo Weaving and Richard Dwarfitage Armitage are in it. Hm.

Universal Won't Scale Stephen King's 'The Dark Tower;' Studio Declines To Make Ambitious Trilogy And TV Series. But have you talked to David Yates...?


@chris_ryall: "Twilight fans don't really seem to get the humor of our Sparkles for Blood promotion at #SDCC." Yeah, they don't, and I kind of don't blame them. It's funny in terms of everyone else getting to laugh at Twilight fandom, but in terms of actually getting those fans to turn in their books to try your product? It's a complete failure, yeah. You don't actually want those fans to give you their books; you just want to mock them so everyone else will remember how cool you are and buy your books. I mean, do what you want, but be honest about what you're doing.

Also, before everyone emails it to me: Lasers reveal the scientific basis for sparkly vampires. 

@Twilight: The #BreakingDawnPart1 #ComicCon panel line has started! These fans are getting ready for Thursday! http://twitpic.com/5saptb 

@cleolinda: I am being told that they've been lined up since Saturday. Jesus take the wheel.

@JessOfRVA: @cleolinda What's amazing is that the gold circle seaters will be getting in ahead of them anyway.

I am super sad right now. Like, for everyone.

Kevin Costner in talks for sadistic baddie in Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained; Kevin Costner may torture slaves for Quentin Tarantino. This is gonna end well.

Posters for Milady and Buckingham from The Three Musketeers are here. 

New Look at Karl Urban as Judge Dredd.

@cleolinda: We sure that's not just a picture from the first movie? RT: @STYDNews First Look at Beckinsale in Underworld: Awakening

IT'S ALL TRAILERS ALL THE TIME! The Trailer for Martin Scorsese's Hugo (Cabret); The Trailer for The Thing (prequel) Online!; First Trailer for 'John Carter' (of Mars) Arrives; 'The Howling: Reborn' Trailer Hits, Has the Werewolf Classic Been Done Justice?; Here's a new international red band trailer for Conan the Barbarian; Aardman’s Claymation Takes to the High Seas in Trailer for ‘The Pirates! Band of Misfits.’

Tom Cruise is Jack Reacher, Sean Bean Joins 'Snow White,' and Rhys Ifans is Tapped for 'Bond 23.

Updates on The Jetsons & Zack Snyder's The Illustrated Man.

Kristin Scott-Thomas shines (for a change, eh?) in the lovely Sarah's Key.

Will Harrison Ford Return For New 'Blade Runner' Films? D: D: D:

Jaume Collet-Serra in Talks to Direct Akira. Could you maybe just... try to get some Asian, not-Keanu-Reeves-aged actors? I mean, just try? Maybe? Seriously, go talk to George Takei, he can help you with this. 

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Is it just me, or do the dwarves this time around not look so... dwarven? Like maybe they dialed down the stockiness and the prosthetics...?

Gimli is just too awesome to be defined by racial characteristics.

Hmm... but thing was... John Rhys-Davies was unrecognizable... except for maybe his voice. And, of course, he's a big guy (his weight loss from all the running around New Zealand notwithstanding), but they made him look, well, dwarven.

As people have been pointing out, Thorin looks a little like a Klingon (I was gonna say "The dwarves look like elves with beards?!" but oh well)

An Elvish dwarf? Don't tell Legolas.

Seriously, Legolas/Gimli is practically canon.

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