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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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Resurfacing. Again.
black ribbon
cleolinda
Wow, it's been a while.

So. I think I'm at the tail end of a mild hypomanic/manic episode that's lasted about two weeks. I think. Using my Make Hay While the Sun Shines policy, I sat down to put as much of Black Ribbon together as I could, and write more whenever I thought of something. There are a lot of symptoms that I eventually notice--don't want to eat, have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, unexplained itchiness (often a caffeinated sort of tingle), creativity/productivity, and--sometimes--the distinct giddy feeling that I'm in love, even when there's no one around to be in love with. Turns out? Hypergraphia can also be a symptom of mania. BEHOLD: Tuesday. Read more...Collapse )



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I hoped you were silent because you've been writing. Yes, I've missed you, but I want to jump up and down cheering you on! I wanna read this book! :-D

I was hoping that the downtime was due to getting writing done. Congrats on getting so much done! Also, in case you haven't seen this video, here's an awesome motivational video that's been making the rounds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaIvk1cSyG8

When I was swinging between hypomania and depression, I easily wrote 20k in like 4-7 days. I alllllllllllmost miss my disorder for that. Almost. Except you know I don't miss the depression and the ridiculous price of meds.

vampire hunters (SEE?) and lady doctors and inventors and magicians and orphans and opium dens and alienists and blackmail and apothecaries and costermongers and secret libraries and revenge and cross-dressing and the Paris World's Fair

Okay, seriously, this is pretty much everything I want in a book. Eeee.

There was a point along the way where I just went, you know what, I'm gonna put everything I love in this. There's more, but I'm trying to save things for later books.

"Victorian London and vampires (WAIT, COME BACK!) and vampire hunters (SEE?) and lady doctors and inventors and magicians and orphans and opium dens and alienists and blackmail and apothecaries and costermongers and secret libraries and revenge and cross-dressing and the Paris World's Fair. Also, a heroine who reads books they didn't assign in school and actually cares about other people."

You know, these were all my favourite elements from Alan Moore's "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen." Which, I really, really love, but there's a certain formulaic quality to Glorified Fanfiction, and maybe Alan Moore's style isn't entirely to my taste. Anyway, that's a not-small collection of similar elements that has had some Big Maintstream Exposure (even a movie flop, is still a movie, right?). There's gotta be a market for Black Ribbon (which, now I am wishlisting in my head). :)

You know, reading that in the summer of 2003 or so (I had started really working on the story that March) was a big moment for me, because I realized that I could make stuff up. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but that was the moment I realized I could go somewhere other than Serious Historical Fiction with, you know. A book about vampires. Of course, I'm the kid whose high school senior quote was from Howards End. It was something I needed at that moment, is what I'm saying.

That said, I'm a lot more. Uh. Restrained. Than Alan Moore. Genteel, you might say, although I'm interested in horror. But I think LOEG loosened up my idea of what you could do with the Victorian setting.

DANG. I've had nights where I couldn't stop writing; I felt I would get physically ill from all the commotion in my head unless I wrote it out. I'm glad you mentioned hypergraphia, I had no idea about this. (I'm bipolar II, w/ the hypomania). <3

I also write with pen and paper for the exact same reason. Yeah, it's slower than typing, but the result is AWESOME! Plus, it makes me feel all productive to look at all those pages, filled with my handwriting.

CLEO I also hope someone wants to put this book on a shelf, because I want to read it!

I don't know much about hypergraphia other than what I saw on an episode of CSI:NY (which I'm sure was entirely accurate >_>), but it sound scary. I don't know if it is, but it sounds like it would be scary.

I sometimes get really energetic bouts due to my PCOS hormones where I sort of lie in bed and twitch or make 100 icons in half an hour, which I sometimes refer to as 'feeling manic'. But I've never had that 'oooh, I can fly!' sort of mania that is associated with bipolar disorder. Which I am very grateful for.

Re: typing going faster than your brain. My dad bought a speech-to-text program to do patient reports and let me play around with it. I thought it would be good for getting some of my handwritten stuff onto the computer without having to type for hours, but I find that I wander off while I'm reading and get weird interludes in the middle of the transcribed text. So, it's easier to type, basically. But not as fun. Because I never feel as important as when I'm wearing a head mike.

I don't know much about hypergraphia other than what I saw on an episode of CSI:NY (which I'm sure was entirely accurate >_>), but it sound scary. I don't know if it is, but it sounds like it would be scary.

But I've never had that 'oooh, I can fly!' sort of mania that is associated with bipolar disorder.


I'm sure it can get scary for some people, but it really hasn't been like that for me--"mania" and hypomania can have much milder manifestations. (I also have PCOS.) The hypergraphia I've experienced hasn't been scary at all, or even terribly compulsive--it's just like a really happy, productive day, except that you look down and go, "Huh. That was... really productive."

I've never had delusions, either. ("I can fly!" seems to be the go-to stereotypical delusion everyone's heard about, I'm not sure why.) I mean, I've gotten confused during, say, a high fever, but everyone's had something like that. I have known people who made some not-so-great life choices while manic, but that was more, like, spending too much money. Granted, I have bipolar II, which is much milder; bipolar I tends to have the more severe mania, as I understand it. Really, I guess my point is, there are non-scary manifestations of these disorders.

>>>I hope someone wants to put it on a shelf.

Well, at the very least I already want to read it.

Your poor hand. Your poor brain. But, on the other hand (SWIDT?), your manuscript is getting nice and fat. YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY YAYS.

<3

It's almost kind of my white whale at this point.
I know exactly how you feel. Also, I prefer writing by hand, I feel more creative when I do that. Then when I type it up I do my first round of editing.

For what it's worth (nothing), I'm a vampire skeptic and your book sounds fascinating!

Heh, thanks. Y'all know me, I am all up in vampire business, but I'm approaching it more from the perspective of one person who only wants to kill them and another who is extremely upset to become one. There is no Sexy Vampire Boyfriend.

My new pen is a Pentel RSVP that keeps blobbing out ink and it DISPLEASES ME.

I want so much to like the RSVP. So much. But something about it makes me sad inside.

I love the Varsity disposable fountain pen, except it writes like three pages and runs out of ink, so it's totally wasteful and everything wrong about America.

I have Feelings About Pens.


My new favorite is a Bic Round Stic Something Or Other, but I've run all of mine dry. They put up a good fight, though. I just bought a couple of RSVPs because they didn't have any Bics at the grocery store (HOW?). I'm trekking out to an office supply whatever this weekend to seek them.

But then I end up doing terrible British accents for my dialogue, and no one wants that.

I demand a poll on the subject!

See, it's the exact opposite for me; I KNOW when depression is coming, but mania creeps up and all of a sudden I'm like "SPEND MONEY HAVE SEX WRITE ALL NIGHT LONG DO NOT EAT EVER!"

So my best friend (who's also my husband) is usually like "Okay, no, bad puppy, calm down". He lets me know if I'm suddenly acting strange, and it takes me a bit.

That being said, I have to sort out what's normal for me, and what's the mania talking. Like, it would be totally normal for me to be awake at three writing or reading, because I'm a night owl naturally. But when I'm up all night and then I don't even think about going to bed and suddenly it's three pm and I'm STILL reading or writing...its pretty clear there's an issue.

I guess what I'm saying is, with mania, it's really difficult to know when it's me, and when its the mania.