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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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SO I SAW BREAKING DAWN
twilight lolcat
cleolinda
...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.



@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.


Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic


@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


...


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas



So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.

SPARKLE OUT.



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It's just Edward bending down a couple of times and coming up with a bloody mouth, from her POV. Nice sound effects, though.

Oh, God, just the idea squicks me out. I literally just gagged.

Just keep repeating to yourself: IT'S JUST STRAWBERRY JAM AND CREAM CHEESE. Seriously, that's what they said it was. Maybe raspberry, I can't remember. Pick whichever one you never plan on eating ever again.

Hmmm. I've done bloody shoots (I did a film project about Elizabeth Bathory) and the blood we used with the sticky, mint-flavored syrup.

...oh god, bagels have been ruined for me forever.

TBH, the Sippy Cup scenes bothered me waaay more than the birth did. I have issues with seeing blood move through tubes and things that aren't triggered by bloody clothes for some reason.

It was really hard for me to watch -- harder than it was to read. It's not like they really show anything, but I couldn't stop thinking about what they WEREN'T showing.

See, that's what I think was so effective about it--you hear what he's doing (AUGH) and then he comes up COVERED in BLARGH and so you're like, DAMN, what must that look like? My only problem was that you then see her body from overhead, and it's like, a couple of tiny holes in a bloody t-shirt. Come on now, ain't no baby just came out of that.

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I was hoping for Cronenberg-esque shenanigans.

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It's not Alien or anything, but the sound effects and the jam are pretty solid in that department. I don't think you'll be disappointed on that account.

I just kept saying, "OMG, the squelching!" That and "He could at least wipe his mouth off. Is that placenta in his teeth?" We had pretty much laughed our asses off through the whole movie up to that point wherein my movie-buddy sat in horrified silence. Good times, good times.

Why do they have styrofoam to-go cups at their house?!? That was weirder than the full-ob-gyn medical-suite.

Heh, yeah. A travel mug, maybe. You know those red plastic cups they use at frat parties? You know Emmett totally had a stack of those somewhere.

Okay, also: they didn't show this, but when they give the baby to Bella, before she passes out, and the baby seems to do something and Bella makes some sound--did the baby totally bite Bella, just like in the book? Because that was really the impression I got, and I kept expecting them to pan down and show a bite mark.

Ha, yes! The red plastic solo cups! I don't know why I was so hung-up on that cup - it may be a symptom of having lived in TN too long. To me, styrofoam is like, what they use to package baked beans or bbq sauce. A BBQ joint, to-go style. Sometimes I have styrofoam cups leftover, but it always has a Sonic logo (b/c dude that ice lasts for HOURS).

It totally sounded like the baby bit Bella - it was the same firm, squishy, apple-eating noise that Edward made during his Emergency Envenomisation. There was SO MUCH blood, I might have missed it, but I didn't see a bit mark either (and I was looking).

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