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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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SO I SAW BREAKING DAWN
twilight lolcat
cleolinda
...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.



@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.


Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic


@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


...


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas



So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.

SPARKLE OUT.



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Just keep repeating to yourself: IT'S JUST STRAWBERRY JAM AND CREAM CHEESE. Seriously, that's what they said it was. Maybe raspberry, I can't remember. Pick whichever one you never plan on eating ever again.

Hmmm. I've done bloody shoots (I did a film project about Elizabeth Bathory) and the blood we used with the sticky, mint-flavored syrup.

Well, the cream cheese was... like... afterbirth... or something. I think they must have wanted to have a textured gore with the jam, based on the results.

I am torn between revulsion and hysterical laughter, and the laughter is winning.

EWWWWWWW.

I am pregnant right now and the entire idea of this scene is really bothering me. I have read the book, and it didn't faze me at the time, but right now, OMgosh. *clutches belly*

Yeah, I have more than one friend who's having to take a pass on this one for baby-related reasons.

...oh god, bagels have been ruined for me forever.

TBH, the Sippy Cup scenes bothered me waaay more than the birth did. I have issues with seeing blood move through tubes and things that aren't triggered by bloody clothes for some reason.

Hell, I am cool with bloodsucking vampires--except for that straw-wielding old lady in that one Doctor Who episode. Something about the straw. *shudder*

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