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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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twilight lolcat
...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.

@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.

Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic

@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas

So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.


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What's really funny is that I've seen at least three or four backlash-backlash articles about how we should all just live and let live now. I feel kind of fortunate that I've staked out a place in the middle--which I hadn't intended, but I got referred to as "Twilight fan Cleolinda Jones" and asked, "So... how do you actually feel about Twilight?" enough that apparently that's how people see me.

Of course, EW is throwing off the shackles the same week they put out a big Twilight issue. I think they're trying to have it both ways for the page views.

I think that's the cycle of pop culture - hype, backlash, backlash to the backlash, ad nauseum until we find something new. I will continue to maintain that "It's just for kids/teens" is a BS argument though.

Oh yeah, EW want those sales. You can see them trying to stake the middle ground with their review - Lisa Schwarzbaum's review was pretty brutal and certainly would have been more accurate to grade as a D- or even an F instead of a C-. I'm guessing that was an editorial choice though.

Oh, it's definitely a bullshit argument, because that's basically saying that it doesn't matter what kids read. I think you and I discussed this on the podcast that one time, but sometimes people are like "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!," like they can't be allowed to read anything, or "YA needs to be dark sometimes because what kids read is important and #YAsaves!" And other times, it's like, "Eh, don't worry about it, it's just kids/YA, they're not actually going to take it seriously." Well, which one is it? I mean, I think both--it's important / it's not really a big deal--are true at different times, with different books. But I think that also means we have to look at Twilight through the ambiguity of that lens as well. Yeah, it's fluff for some people, it's harmless for some teens, but that doesn't mean we should all just clam up about the problematic elements, either. There's got to be a balance.

I do get tired of male critics hating blindly on the female fandom as a demographic. Look, I'll point out specific fuckwittery as readily as anyone else, but I don't believe in sitting here going, "STUPID WOMEN ARE THE REASON DUMB GIRL MOVIES MAKE MONEY THEY DON'T DESERVE!!1"

Hahaha, they let Schwarzbaum review it? What did they expect? (I like her.)

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