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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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SO I SAW BREAKING DAWN
twilight lolcat
cleolinda
...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.



@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.


Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic


@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


...


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas



So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.

SPARKLE OUT.



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I cannot wait to read the M15M version. Everything you write makes the movies funnier to watch.

Still trying to decide which part was my favorite so far. My newly-minted 13-year-old decided the Vampire Boob Job (fixing all the bones and boom-she's up to a D cup!) was the best part. I still can't decide between the Russian Mail Order Vampire and Jacob's "I'm gonna get me some Kibbles 'n' Bits" POV scene. The TMI cam venom scene was pretty cool. Thanks for pointing out the end credits scene. We would've missed it otherwise.

Happy writing!

Holy shit is THAT what that puffed up thing was?! I thought for some reason that it was lower and the venom was like HAHA YOUR BODY'S STILL HOLDING ONTO THE BULGE FROM YOUR DEMON CHILD.

Well, after giving birth to your half-vampire demon child via dental-caesarean, it takes at least a few months to get rid of the weight.

The fact that that sentence even exists and is completely true, IDEK.

See, I thought that was her spine unbreaking. Her chest didn't look much bigger.

Yeah I thought Edward had crushed her ribs from his frantic CPR-ing, and her chest was uncaving in?

"the Russian Mail Order Vampire"

What? Please elaborate?

Irina? Who is apparently Slovakian. I never made it all the way through the book, but the eldest and I have a standing date for the movies.

Oh her. Thanks, I forgot about them. (Deliberately) Wait a minute, Slovakian? As in, from Slovakia, the country that separated from Czechoslovakia in 1993? How old are these vampires supposed to be?

Well, to be fair, and if I understood the situation correctly, they separated because they considered themselves to be different peoples so I'd say it makes sense she'd call herself Slovakian. Czechoslovakia was an artificial county, anyway.

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