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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.

@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.

Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic

@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas

So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.


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For me, the main thing this one did is illustrate one of the biggest and most horrible things every novel in the entire series has a problem with, writing wise.


With the first three, they did what they could. They threw in extra fight scenes. They cut unnecessarily long dialogue. They kept things moving as a relatively steady clip--yes, even NM, where Bella moped for the entire damn thing and it took and hour to get a werewolf into our werewolf movie. They put a fight scene where one might sensibly go--showing James killing people in TW, showing Victoria being hunted by the wolves in NM, showing the Cullens hunting Victoria and the newborn army being nasty in EC.

They couldn't do that here. They couldn't cheat hardly at all, and so I was just sitting here staring in awe at how many thirty-second shots we had of the camera just focusing on a character's face. Nobody says anything, nobody does anything.

Oh, and Kristen Stewart had the best DULL SURPRISE! I've ever seen to finding out she's preggers. I was also flailing--tender music?! REALLY? It's been two weeks, something's in her moving hard enough already to hurt, and the baby's daddy is a vampire, but we sit here and stare at her dazed face with tender music?! I THINK FREAKING OUT WOULD BE WARRANTED HERE.

But....that's canon. So I can't complain too much, I guess. And that's also why I can't be a truly objective reviewer of these movies, 'cause I just sit there and compare them to the books--and the films universally come out on top, no matter how bad they are.

And as far as I am concerned there needs to be more Leah. EVERYTHING needs more Leah. And not just because Julia Jones is hot. (But she totally is.)

More Leah would be ace. Can I say that I am so glad they left out the whole "I AM BARREN~" thing they had in the book? I kept waiting for it to happen and I was so relieved it did not.

You are not the only one who is glad. I am also glad about what they did to her comments about how she wished she could imprint. When that happened in canon, I seriously just went "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE" because why the hell would Leah want to imprint when she saw just how much it ruins the lives of everyone involved? But instead, they made her simply saying she wanted to imprint only when she was stuck in Sam's pack--so it seemed more like desperation and ANYTHING to get away from him and having to endure more of that, so once she got away from it, she didn't want it anymore.

I was a little bit impressed by the structure of the movie--half an hour for the wedding, half an hour for the honeymoon, roughly half an hour for the first part of the pregnancy and about half an hour for the delivery/fight/imprinting. I'm not saying the pacing always worked, but I was impressed that they clearly sat down and worked out a structure.

I don't know, I thought Kristen Stewart did a pretty good job, given that (whether this was the best call or not) she was given a lot of scenes where she had to express, without words, what Bella was feeling. I mean, you know by the time she calls Rosalie that she's upset that Edward doesn't want the baby, and that she does want it despite everyone's immediate horror of the situation, and that she wants to protect the baby--and all without saying that out loud. I mean, given that she does have to do scenes like this throughout the movie, I think she pulls it off.

(Goddammit, LJ ate my first response. Try this again, then.)

The structure was fine--I guess what I mean isn't necessarily pacing but that splitting it into two like this demonstrates just how very little actually happens in Breaking Dawn. Only the first half-hour, to me, was padded in a way that didn't seem to drag because of the inclusion of Edward's back story that we didn't get in Twilight, and that is actually something I liked. Not only because it seemed like a good time to do it--made him look like he wanted to be honest before they got married and he felt badly keeping it from her. But also because they made sure he sounded sympathetic and was honestly remorseful for what he'd done. In canon he doesn't give a flying fuck, the psycho, and I still have no idea why he stopped killing people other than he didn't want Carlisle to give him a lump of coal in his stocking. But with BD, I remember sitting around wondering if anything's gonna happen when I read it, and actually seeing it on the big screen really, really illustrated that and drove it home for me. Nothing happens in that book--nothing happens less than even the other three, and things really didn't happen in those.

Oh, I'm not saying she did a poor job overall--actually, she did very well with a lot of it. (To me, her low-point was New Moon, where she couldn't even muster up some interest in the fact that Jacob and Paul just turned into werewolves and ran off into the woods to hump.) But the realization of the pregnancy, from spotting the tampons to saying there's something in there when it kicks her hard enough to hurt? Left something to be desired. But, just me.

Overall, I rank Eclipse the best out of the movies made thus far--massive improvements of all of the fuck-wittery in that book that I like to alternately title "Everyone's a Little Bit Rapist" and made Jasper a sympathetic character that I genuinely liked, which I did not think was possible (because canon Jasper scares me).

But, as you can see, I tend to be way too SERIOUS BUSINESS when comparing the movies to the books, despite the movies being my guilty pleasure. Sorry.

Oh, I see what you mean--absolutely. This whole thing could have been knocked out in an hour, easily.

And yeah, I loved the flashback, with the poor guy actually getting to do some vampiring and the Bill Condon Bride of Frankenstein in-joke. And Edward's jaunty cap. Vampiring is 100% better with a jaunty cap.

In canon he doesn't give a flying fuck, the psycho, and I still have no idea why he stopped killing people other than he didn't want Carlisle to give him a lump of coal in his stocking.


Bride of Frankenstein in-joke

*facepalm* I missed that! Seriously, you are a much better movie-watcher than I am, in the sense that you catch a lot of things I miss. I totally didn't notice the Sue backstory stuff, and I probably would have to see it again to catch it.

Well, keep in mind also that I have a number of things burnt into my brain from recapping the book; I'm gonna notice them. Also, I really liked Gods and Monsters, so I was going to catch that anyway.

My favorite in-joke was everyone telling Bella the name Reneesme sucked. The whole theater laughed at that scene.

it's seriously a relief in the book when they start calling her nessie. I'm like "well at least that sounds like a NAME."

Hey, are you NotEmily on MRHP (now MRRHP)? I love your posts!

I am! What? Hi! Thanks! *stammers*

(I suppose it's not so weird that someone else in Cleo's commentariat would be a Mark Reads fan, since I found out about him through her. Still, unexpected!)

Do you comment there? I don't recognize your username, but I have a horrible memory.

Not that much--I post as "Cee" in the MRRHP threads but haven't signed up for an actual account on the new platform. And I haven't posted on MRRHP very much--maaaaaybe 5 times in total? And only on the first half of Philosopher's Stone--he went through a dry patch about a third of the way through that and I stopped checking every day. But I started reading the old MRHP posts based on Cleo's rec, after he read the climax to Goblet of Fire. I went over and devoured every post there--love his stuff! And I love how many great fanfic and other recommendations I've come across there.

Although gotta say, it occurred to me how even cooler it is that you're both places--as much as I love him, like any internet community there is group think and the constant "TWILIGHT SUX" mentality (sure, it's sucks in places but it's not Mein Kampf) puts me off a little.

I'm trying to remember posts I've liked of yours--I haven't checked out the re-reads posts in awhile, at least 2 months, because I know it's going to suck me in. Basically I remember your avatar (the girl with the dark hair) and your posts are just consistently sane and I agree with all of them :)

NotEmily, I'm just chiming in that I remember your comments as being very well-written at MRHP, but I can't remember specifics because most people (other than BradSmith of course) have blurred for me by now.

lol at "everyone's a little bit rapist." that's why I hate eclipse. the movie did improve on it, certainly.

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