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Occupation: Girl

Please close the door and switch on the fun without fail.

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twilight lolcat
...and it was pretty much what I expected, everything a Breaking Dawn movie had to be and could not help but be, etc. Given that 1) the book is what it is and 2) the filmmakers have always been under order to be scrupulously faithful to it, it's... it just is, okay? It is a filmed experience of the book, which says pretty much everything you need to know about it. Also, maybe I just feel such monumental pity for the kid that I didn't even think Taylor Lautner was bad. The imprinting itself was somehow as tasteful as Melissa Rosenberg could think to write it, and my audience was, as Twilight audiences in Birmingham have always somehow been, worshipfully quiet, so I didn't get the enjoyment of listening to the entire theater freak out. The closest they got was some knowing "Ohhhhh, here we go"-type laughter right as Jacob approached the baby. They didn't even have an audible reaction to the vampire caesarean.

Also, stay for an extra scene in the middle of the credits, because Aro is my spirit guide.

@cleolinda: All right. Time to chagrin my dazzle. Pray for me. #leavingthehouseomg #breakingdawn #sparklemas

@ladonnapietra: @cleolinda And yea, though you walk through the valley of the reflection of sparkles...

@particle_person: @cleolinda Best wishes! May you not see anything unseeable or hear the unhearable!

@cleolinda: Oh, I've seen leaked stuff. It's too late for that.

@particle_person: I meant the audience, actually. ;-)

@cleolinda: HAAAAAAAA

@cleolinda: Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least.

Well, my purse and I got the front row, at least. on Twitpic

@cleolinda: (I will not be live tweeting. The lights haven't even gone down yet, we've got a few minutes to kill.)

@cleolinda: Wtf? RT @alierakieron: My SiL had someone faint on top of her at last night's show. Usher said it was the second one of the night.


@cleolinda: Well, that happened. You guys, I think I can do this. #thatofwhichwedonotspeak #breakingdawn #sparklemas

So I'm going to be writing as fast as I can for the next couple of days, because I think I can do this, possibly, in a semi-timely fashion--I basically sat there thinking a Fifteen Minutes the whole time, although, fuck my life, I forgot to bring any paper for notes. Well, I may be seeing it again tomorrow, so. I have thought of--I won't say a "gimmick," exactly, but a unifying, running joke, like the Viking saga in Eclipse, that will probably help me through a lot of it. You don't have to have one, but it helps you approach a scene you get stuck on from a different perspective. AND GOD KNOWS I WILL NEED IT.

Jesus, my head hurts.


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See, that's what I think was so effective about it--you hear what he's doing (AUGH) and then he comes up COVERED in BLARGH and so you're like, DAMN, what must that look like? My only problem was that you then see her body from overhead, and it's like, a couple of tiny holes in a bloody t-shirt. Come on now, ain't no baby just came out of that.

I had to fan-wank that they had just... IDK tugged her hospital gown (?) down over the gaping wound of her abdomen.

Hm, that is a thought. I mean, he wouldn't just bite through her shirt or whatever it was. That's just crazy talk.

Oddly, I thought the spinning around over her Mostly Dead body in the dress was the most effective shot in the movie.

In the blue dress at the end, or when she's bloody on the table?

In the blue dress, I meant.

The blue dress spinning reminded me weirdly of both Ophelia and Anne Rice's novel Taltos (which also has a young girl having a monster birth that nearly kills the mom in it).

Actually, Rice's Mayfair Witches series shares a lot of overlap with Breaking Dawn, although it's 1000% crackier, Rice is a better writer, and it's about witches and the Taltos (a branch of humanity that separated before homo sapiens, has 96 chromosomes, super strength, and lives for thousands of years).

Well, and then the Baby Jenks chapter (was it from Queen of the Damned?) that seemed to have the title and some of the plot setup ripped off for "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner." That woman can swear up and down that she doesn't read other vampire books, but I don't believe her.

IKR? I could make a substantial list of the similarities between the Twilight "saga" and umteen other vampire novels, however, the biggest similarities I have spied are with the Sookie Stackhouse books. The mind reading being the obvious one, but there are so so many more.

Steph, your fooling no-one but yourself.

Should have ended the movie there. Idiots.

i kind of like that there's part 2

mostly cause lee pace is in it. and me love lee pace.

althought i'm probably going to be all WTH? when he looks like a vampire.

but still- lee pace

Re: i kind of like that there's part 2

Lee Pace makes everything better. I'm just glad that his next thing after this is The Hobbit; that is a franchise role upgrade if there's ever been one.

Re: i kind of like that there's part 2


and I'm now Super excited because the more lee pace the better.

(i dont care it's been like 2 years- i'm still deeply wounded bitter about the cancellation of pushing daisies)

(and a tiny corner of my mind kind of wishes they would get lee pace and anna friel in the show Once upon a time (that would be Glorious)

Re: i kind of like that there's part 2

oh God oh God Lee and Anna on Once Upon a Time would KILL ME in the best way. WEEPING FOREVER.

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