Occupation: Girl

Ow

2016-08-02T16:43:05Z

As I just said on Twitter, I keep forgetting that chronic health issues are chronic and that I can't just wait them out. "Oh, I feel like shit today, I'll post/work/exercise once the aches and/or pains and/or anxieties have let up." And then they just... don't, and another four weeks have slipped by. In fact, I'm typing this straight into the "new post" field on my phone because if I try to ~draft~ something, I won't finish it. I wanted to post something, several somethings, more substantial about the last few months, but: ow.

At this point, the best and easiest thing I can think of to do for myself is drink a shit ton of water, healthwise, and try to catch up on some reading, considering that I am specifically in physical pain right now. I feel like there is probably always something you can do for yourself, even if that something is "breathe deep and drink a water."

I have a yearly PCOS checkup scheduled for September, which I think is also when I have my next quarterly med check (for bipolar II, if you do not have my health conditions memorized, she said dryly). You know, I'll go ahead and say--it's a long long story that I don't really know how to start or finish, and so maybe I'm finding reasons to put off more in-depth posts on (subconscious) purpose, but: it seems, based on some preliminary discussion, that I may be on the autism spectrum. I have a referral to a clinical specialist, but I don't think I can afford another doctor's visit right now, or maybe even for 2-3 months.

So it's not an ironclad clinical diagnosis. But it would explain A LOT about my painfully lonely and anxious childhood, why I have panic attacks while trying to drive, problems I have both starting and/or finishing things, and those times when I'm just like "that's it, I'm done, I have lost my will to function, I will be sitting in this corner of the convention hall if you need me." And I know some of these things may be true of many people. But in the preliminary research I started doing, a revelatory preponderance of them turned out to be true of me.

And that's the kind of thing I wanted to post about in depth. Things like how autism can present very differently in girls, how many women aren't diagnosed until adulthood, how (contrary to a lot of stereotypes) empathy overload and high verbal skills can be involved, mirror neurons, how bipolar disorder often overlaps with or is mistaken for autism, intense world theory, executive dysfunction, sensory overload, how Hans Asperger only studied boys, how I'm not sure if Asperger's syndrome is still clinically a thing or if it even reflects what's going on with me but who am I to say that, how I'm not entirely sure if "high-functioning end of the spectrum" is a thing or if that terminology upsets people, how I might be blundering into an existing community, and not knowing the right words and being afraid I don't belong because I don't KNOW for sure, but how it's already helped me a lot to reconsider how I think and feel and function. It has, perhaps contrary to expectation, been a largely positive experience.

Anyway. I think I am stealing my own thunder here because trying to write about Autism, Maybe has been turning into Let Me Slideshow You My Brain. Like, we could be here a while. So. Voilà.

(In keeping with current policy, comments are screened by default. If you would like to comment on this subject in particular but keep it screened, please say so in your comment. I will not be able to answer screened comments, however.)

This is simply to say

2016-07-27T18:28:43Z

that I am having a REALLY hard time concentrating, despite having an Outline of Update Posts to work from. (Refer to previous entry.) So I'm still working on those, but I have rainy-season headaches and a couple other health issues slowing me down. Hang in there. (However, I did just post some swatches of the Aromaleigh Birds of a Feather eyeshadows.)

2016: Everything Happens So Much

2016-07-25T20:05:51Z

HELLO.

The thing for me is that time flies really quickly. I look up and three months have passed; I look down and three more are gone. I did sort of knowingly take a sabbatical from a lot of online stuff (although I'm pretty much always on Twitter, more or less; it's a very low-effort kind of thing), because A LOT of shit went down. As it has for basically everyone this year, I think.

Let's see--a hole in the roof, a leak in the water heater, and panicked moving of things back and forth from room to room as walls (walls, plural) were rebuilt. I knocked a glass of water onto laptop Lizzie, had to stuff her in a tub of rice for a week, and finally deploy my laptop fund to finance a new one over the next year; seven-year-old Lizzie's still kicking but not very reliable, and Lisbeth, the new laptop, seems to be doing pretty well (knock on wood), although I'm still not quite used to the new touchpad yet. Then Lisbeth started freaking out for no reason one night and a friend had to talk me through removing the million screws holding in the battery like it was open-heart surgery. I also had to finance a new mattress because the one I had was twenty-five years old and was semi-permanently messing up my back. Currently, I seem to have a hip/leg/nerve problem, possibly from my desk chair being fifteen years old? Also I got really sick this spring. Two different family members had really serious health issues (we're hoping things will continue to be better). Weird shit happened in my neighborhood, including our mail being stolen by Federal Offense Santa Claus (alternately, start from the bottom here). We still don't know how/why our mailbox was full of roaches. During these trying times, I played a lot of Star Wars: Galaxy of Heroes (my ewoks, have I shown u them).

This is meant to be sort of a rudimentary catch-all update, since there is so much to talk about--I spent the spring reading The Artist's Way and The Mindfulness Solution, which I think I'll talk about in more depth this week, and watching a good bit of Netflix (well, Amazon Video, whichever). Also, yes, I can confirm that you should go see Ghostbusters--the last half hour alone is worth the price of admission. (Maybe I'll talk about that a little as well, I don't know.) I have a whole list of things to go through--at least one post is going to be about some continuing mental health adventures (a helpful diagnosis). I mean, I would like to do maybe one post a day, but Shit Happens 2016 and I'm not locking myself into that.

Also, you will notice that comments are now screened by default. Honestly, from time to time I wander away from blogging, and then I come back and my comments are a Mad Maxian hellscape of pharmaceutical spam and sporadic trolls. So, for everyone's sake, I've decided to manually approve comments from here on out. I'll write this up into a Commenting Policy post, I guess, but the long and short of it is the same as always--be civil, particularly to each other; I'm fine with criticism but vitriol is not gonna fly; I'm really pretty understanding about minor tiffs, but I don't have time in my life for trolling. Now, though, you will have to wait for me to unscreen your comment (from the centralized Manage Comments page); I hope I don't miss any, but I might, so don't worry you did something terribly wrong. I will automatically leave "I know you won't unscreen this comment" in purgatory because I don't have time for reverse-psychology passive aggression either. If you would like me to leave your comment screened, you can say so--there might be some entries coming up where you'd like to say something just to me, which is fine. I know this will probably cut into the flow of discussion, but I'll be honest, I don't really care, because this is what I need to do to make this journal hospitable for me and everyone else, so it is what it is.

Anyway! Tomorrow I will probably talk about my herb garden and my squirrel tribulations first.

cleolinda @ 2016-01-11T15:07:00

2016-01-11T21:07:54Z

I don't know why I woke up at 2 am, but I did, and I checked Twitter on my phone in bed and saw it: David Bowie passed away. So basically I'm posting my favorite stuff on Tumblr:

http://cleolinda.tumblr.com/tagged/david-bowie

Or I was, until something went buggy and YouTube refused to play nice anymore. Because my taste is odd (and movie-centric?), it's stuff from the '80s and the '90s-00s, rather than the early classic songs.

It's odd--I was shocked for several hours, didn't go back to bed until 5 am--but I'm having a hard time being sad. It's so wonderful to see everyone sharing their favorite things, to see the scope of someone's life all at once and how much it meant to people, knowing also that he went out the way he wanted with "a carefully planned finale." Sometimes it seems like someone is gone, yet more present than ever.

HELLO

2016-01-06T20:17:24Z

I have not checked in for a while! Also I'm so used to Twitter that I totally forgot about comments here and I NEED TO CHECK THOSE OMG.

I saw a Star War and immediately fell in love with it even though I was never that much into either trilogy before and it ate my Tumblr for like two weeks because I was too lazy to check my dash for other things to post, sorry about that

The Emo Kylo Ren meme is like my favorite thing ever and I'm not even sorry

WHERE IS ALL THE REY STUFF

NO I MEAN THE STUFF I CAN AFFORD (omg Hot Toys though)

This is important

I even got my very own phone-controlled BB-8 for Christmas. I have a problem

COUNTDOWN TO ROGUE ONE

still fighting the moth war, dammit

Medication update: Sprintec has absolutely wrecked my complexion over the last 4-5 months, so I am nursing it back to health with a minimalist regimen of Thayer's toner and CeraVe moisturizer

The Aromaleigh X-Files box/extras will be coming out in February, excite! (Shop is closed at the moment while Kristen moves.) Here's a closer look at Genome, plus quick looks at the other three eyeshadows. I'm pretty sure there will be additional non-box colors available as well--an "expansion pack"--but I haven't seen them yet

Mood is pretty good even considering seasonal depression; I'm just a completely useless lazy cuss, which I realized is because IT'S JANUARY

In other words, like pretty much everyone else, I have tons of stuff to do, but all I want to do is curl up with a book (new Alison Weir soon!) and hot chocolate.

ALERT ALERT ALERT

2015-12-15T19:24:50Z

Not feeling so well today, but! Quick note to say that the Aromaleigh X-Files inspired box (I'm helping!) will go up for pre-order at 3PM EST (what is that, about half an hour from now?), and here's a look at swatches of one of the eyeshadows, inspired by a scene from "The Sixth Extinction."

Also I got very cute alien socks and the Crimson Peak art book for my birthday.

I went to the Eddie Izzard show last night!

2015-12-06T22:30:24Z

And I am very tired, and possibly sick, considering how many people sneezed on me. But I will say, it was at the Alabama Theatre, which is a gorgeous old-fashioned show-palace theater built in the '20s, and was lit to great effect for the occasion:

Mind you, all these pictures were taken before the show started; the ongoing laser light show was just ambience. It was actually sold out as well (or all but four tickets as of Friday afternoon, as I noticed when I went to get a link to the event); our tickets were on the floor, somewhat near the back. I went with @BluThundur and his wife, who I'd met in person at Dragon Con 2014 (THUS MY OCCASIONALLY LEAVING THE HOUSE PAYS OFF). I wish I could have taken pictures during the show, but there was never a good shot considering the angle and other people's heads, and, more importantly, I hate being That Guy. Which is why I was able to get very few decent shots of the lobby Q&A afterwards, but felt compelled to try because he had changed into a truly fantastic leather jacket:

(I know you want to know just as much as we did: MAC and NARS, and pink lipstick for breast cancer awareness since, as he said, he wasn't really feeling a Decembeard.)

Someone did ask about Hannibal; he said something to the effect of, "Great cast, really wonderful cast to work with. REALLY DISTURBING TO MAKE." I decided at that point not to ask what happened with Gideon's final limb. It was an incredibly enthusiastic crowd, though--half the questions were basically "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING DOWN HERE" (he decided to hit all fifty states at least once), and one guy specifically asked, "Why isn't James Mason the voice of God anymore?!" He really seemed to like discussing the creative process with questions like that, which was interesting. But we are a very sentimental people, Alabamians; that's exactly what I did when I met Scott Thompson and Aaron Abrams, the deeply earnest "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE" thing. One girl told him she got the courage to come out after seeing how much her family liked his stuff, and a guy who brought his (chronically ill? didn't quite hear this part?) mother said, "Laughter is the best medicine, and you've put years back on her life." He alluded a few times to finding "people like us all over the world"--he'd never been to Alabama before, and is about to hit Mississippi and Arkansas for the first time, and this was maybe something of a realization. Like, there are people here who do enjoy comedy about history and religion and geeky movies, and do get the references, and are glad to see you, and not only won't run you out of town on a rail but are like you, and are really, really eager to culturally see and be seen. You have people down here, we are your people too. Which, if you are an amazing creator/performer of some kind and you are reading this, let me tell you, this reception can be yours too! PLEASE COME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE.

I won't rehash the show at length, but there was a return to the Star Wars Canteen bit. Here's the original first, and then a two-years-ago version of what we got last night--the song for Mr. Stevens has evolved into something much longer that gradually shifted to the tune of "America the Beautiful." Also there are two tray sound effects these days--PANG!, of course, but sort of a floot! for The Thin Edge.

(Other Force Majeure clips.)

So. I haven't been doing that great for a few weeks--I mean, okay, but I hurt my back, had a mild touch of depression--and haven't gotten a whole lot done. So it was particularly nice to get out of the house right now. I am helping a bit with an Aromaleigh X-Files-inspired box that Kristen's going to have out in early February, I think--pre-orders will be on the 15th, and I'll see if there's a preview of some kind to put up in the next week. But this is in the vein of the Primavera and Red Dragon boxes: eyeshadows, a lip product, a fragrance, and some kind of cheek color and/or highlighter as a set, with individual items available a couple of weeks later, and I get to do a huge inspiration/swatch picture post, and it's all super fun.

(Here's me wearing the Maledictio gloss from her Proserpina collection last night. The eyeshadow, what you can see of it, is Awe from Red Dragon and Dauphine.)

As far as the Hannibal recaps go, I'm still finishing up "Contorno" (3x05), and I think I'm going to jump back to 2x06 ("Futamono," speaking of Gideon), which I have at least half done from last year, so we'll have some context for the next couple of S3 episodes, then jump back to 3x07 ("Digestivo"), then maybe finish up that S2 storyline with 2x07 ("Yakimono," which is a great one), and then start in on the S3 Red Dragon storyline straight through to the end. IDK, it makes sense to me. Things are always super busy chez Jones this time of year, so that's a schedule that'll take us well into January, possibly February as well.

A quick update

2015-11-15T16:49:38Z

‏@aromaleigh: Red Dragon extras are up, + a few remaining boxes! http://aromaleighcosmetics.com/exclusive-box-sets/

@aromaleigh: "DRACONIS" fragrance from the Red Dragon box, pre order now up. http://aromaleighcosmetics.com/draconis-pre-order/

(The notes are bergamot, linden blossom, honey, parchment, beeswax, dragon’s blood resin, labdanum, and blonde patchouli.)

@aromaleigh: "Dragon's Kiss" lipgloss pre order is up, as the available extras have sold out! http://aromaleighcosmetics.com/dragons-kiss-pre-order/

@cleolinda: (I'm so proud it sold out)

Here's a quick visual tour of the Red Dragon set, and here's the in-depth inspiration/swatch discussion; as with the This Is My Design collection, @tattle_crime and I consulted on both this box and the first-half-of-season-three Primavera set (pictures; inspiration).

I'm not addressing world events at the moment because... I don't even know where to begin, y'all. Is everyone around here okay?

The Red Dragon extras are on the way!

2015-11-12T20:05:43Z

So here is the second Hannibal-themed Aromaleigh boxed set Freddie (@tattle_crime, fourth of her name, may her flame burn bright) and I consulted on. Every now and then you find yourself saying things like "So these eyeshadows are based on the show's Red Dragon storyline, which is about a serial killer's obsession with William Blake paintings, one of which he gets tattooed on his back and eventually eats." Such is the nature of pop culture cosmetics.

(farfarawaysite.com)

(Specifically, on Richard Armitage's back. Yeah... if you didn't see season three, HOO BOY, did you miss out on some quality dragoning there.)

I'm at a disadvantage now--I'm still working through recaps for the first half of season three, so I don't have ~~Deep Thoughts~~ research to cite chapter and verse like I did with the Primavera box. Fortunately for me, we worked more closely with the paintings than the actual visuals of the show--I think all three of us were surprised by how yellow the show went with its yellows. (Maybe because the movie version of the tattoo was monochrome.) However, it turns out that there are a few colors from last year's (huge!) This Is My Design collection that either pick up the show's brighter reds and yellows, or fill in other shades in the paintings, so I'm including those here as well. Even better, while there will be a limited supply of Red Dragon extras, the TIMD colors are available year-round. But first, a quick thumbnail view of the paintings and new colors:

(The Great Red Dragon paintings)

(Top to bottom: 666, Leviathan, Becoming, Wrath. Plus a bit of "Awe." More on that in a bit. Then, 666 and Leviathan together, to capture the color shifts a bit better.)

Cheerfully, William Blake based all of these on imagery from the apocalyptic Book of Revelation:

The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in Sun ("And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars: And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered")

The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun ("And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born")

The Great Red Dragon and the Beast from the Sea ("And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy")

The Number of the Beast is 666 ("Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.")

Please notice that the first two paintings have nearly identical titles which I can never remember how to distinguish; #1 is "Clothed IN Sun" and #2 is "Clothed WITH THE Sun." These were all used as season 3 episode titles:

3x08 "The Great Red Dragon"

3x09 "...And the Woman Clothed with the Sun"

3x10 "...And the Woman Clothed in Sun"

3x11 "...And the Beast from the Sea"

3x12: "The Number of the Beast Is 666"

With Francis Dolarhyde imagining himself as (obviously) the GREAT RED DRRRRAGON.

(all screencaps from screencapped.net)

And lo, everyone made "does Richard Armitage still have dragon sickness" jokes.

(What I love about that moment is that it lasts like maybe ten seconds. It's just kind of tossed in there right before the opening credits run, like, just another day on Empath & Cannibal, no big.)

The "Woman Clothed in Sun," meanwhile, is his love interest Reba McClane (Rutina Wesley). Again, the show went a step further than the movies and actually showed us Dolarhyde's Blakeian fantasies, with Reba emerging from the painting as the actual Woman Clothed in/with the Sun:

The final episode title, 3x13 "The Wrath of the Lamb," isn't one of the painting names--it's taken from an earlier verse in Revelation, where all the various men of the earth hide and say to the mountains and rocks, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?" And you will notice a lamb tucked in near the bottom of the "Number of the Beast" painting (see below). According to show dialogue, the Beast is Hannibal (unsurprisingly, because he is every single Biblical figure ever. Also: SAAATAAAN); I believe the writers/producers confirmed that the lamb with the "wrath" is Will. Indeed, in the final moments of the episode (VAGUE SPOILERS), Dolarhyde, Hannibal, and Will are by the sea, and no one is left "standing," certainly.

(If you did see the finale, take a moment with me now to recover from a fresh onslaught of the feels.)

("He just wants to be with his mongoose!")

But let's walk through the four eyeshadows and their respective paintings now:

WRATH: Deep metallic blood red with subtle moonlight shimmer. (See "Dragon's Kiss," below, for the reasoning behind the "moonlight.")

This one works best as an accent or blending color (although if you have occasion to do a full blood-red lid, I ain't gonna stop you). In fact, I did a little Venn diagram I did on the back of my hand, where you can see what the other three look like blended with Wrath into entirely separate colors. Clockwise from the 12:00 position: 666, Leviathan + Wrath, Leviathan, Becoming + Wrath, Becoming, 666 + Wrath. Technically the Biblical line refers to the Lamb's wrath, but Dolarhyde seems plenty wrathful to me, so.

(click for full size)

BECOMING: Taupe grey with a golden glow, may have a greenish cast in certain lighting.

The overall effect is sort of an "old gold" color. While Dolarhyde speaks of his "Becoming," the formulation is meant to evoke the Woman lying on the rocks, a stony grey base, so it picks up that aspect of both the Woman paintings:

But it also picks up Dolarhyde's kimono (from a key scene where he reveals his tattoo--I think my original name suggestion was "Revelation" for that reason), which must have intentionally used the colors of the painting:

(twitter.com/bryanfuller)

(farfarawaysite.com)

The flash of gold over taupe-grey also picks up another effect of light that I've always loved on the show: Will's empathing "mind metronome," which returns in the first episode of the Red Dragon arc (3x08).

For the original This Is My Design collection, I had previously ~demanded~ a mind metronome color that we called Perception. So we get to this set, and of course I go back through my stash to see if any of the original colors blend with the new ones. Turns out, Antler Velvet (brown with copper highlight and smoky khaki undertone) and Apiary (yellow-gold with olive/cocoa undertones) blend with Becoming pretty well to recreate the painting:

You can also use Apiary, Survive (metallic orange with olivine-gold undertones), Antler Velvet, and Veneer for the Woman's other appearance:

Veneer and its aqua equivalent, Lapse, have a unique formulation in that collection: but they're kind of like sheer duochromes that don't actually have a base, just the color shift, if that makes any sense. I've worn them each as a brow highlight (with Bellissima and Gotcha, respectively), and from one angle you would hardly be able to see it at all, then I'd turn my head and you'd see this traveling flash of color. Veneer in particular is meant to look like a wash of firelight, which might go well with the dragon theme generally.

LEVIATHAN: Taupe frost with copper undertones and a shimmering blue shift.

I didn't expect the blue painting to yield my favorite color in the set, but here we are. Freddie said that she likes to think of the Beast from the Sea as the equally Biblical monster Leviathan, hence the name. (Which was miles better than my hapless "Uh, I don't know... 'From the Sea'?").

You can get the stars in the wings with Entrapment (deep blue with a copper shift--the first color on my wrist in the swatch pictures there). And there's the aforementioned Lapse--last row, first picture, you can see on the right how sheer it is at some angles. It also blends surprisingly well with the blue shift of Leviathan itself--which also blends well with Awe, the highlighter in the set (see below), if you want a softer, less blue look. This is the only combination I was able to work out IRL to my satisfaction, so I highly encourage y'all to play with the colors and see what you come up with.

We haven't actually discussed (The Name of the Beast Is) 666 yet, have we? Our last color, yet the first we came up with, the alpha and the omega--the color I gave away at Dragon Con:

666: Deep greyed blue base with a strong metallic copper shift.

This may be a good time to bring in the 666 + Wrath blend for the wings. And here's Survive working really well as the flame detail, while Wrath and Becoming pick up the bottom of the painting.

(Does... does that lamb have hands...?)

The original TIMD colors also pick up the brighter colors of the scenes from the show itself. If you specifically want to recreate the colors of the back tattoo--which are surprisingly bright compared to the paintings--I'd recommend Apiary and Tattler (metallic cinnamon red), maybe a dab of Survive mixed in, with some some black eyeliner.

For Reba Clothed In Sun, I would try Apiary, maybe foiled on the lid and blended dry up over the crease--it was formulated with olive/cocoa undertones to make it a little more wearable than a primary yellow, so it's going to pick up more of the "painting" on the sides of this shot, which Becoming also matches. A little Survive could blend in to brighten it up and get the gentle flame quality of the fabric:

Throw on a bit of Wrath as a blood-red accent for Leviathan, and I am pretty sure you could get this scene:

Yes, we intended Leviathan to match the cliff scene as well. In fact, I think the show was trying to match the painting. Because we are all terrible, terrible people.

But we're not done yet!

AWE: Buff with mauve tones and copper interference shift.

As I mentioned before, I had suggested that both the Primavera and Red Dragon sets have an extra color with a larger quantity available on the site; Luciferus was the bonus the first time around. Freddie and I had been talking about how 1) we totally gotta use "Awe" as a name for something and 2) as she pointed out, it would be great for a cheek color. "You owe me awe," as Dolarhyde demands--you can imagine the glow on someone's face, right? (The expression Dolarhyde was hoping for, rather; this is not the color of the D:< he actually tended to get.) Because I totally thought there would be a cheek color; I'd gotten confused as to which products would be in which set--there's a fourth eyeshadow in the Red Dragon box rather than a rouge or highlighter. So I pleaded for the extra RD product to be a highlighter/shadow so we could get the word "Awe" in there. I've started really getting into wearing highlighters as eyeshadow (although you could easily use a big fluffy brush and use this as a complexion highlighter or a blush), and it blends super well with my beloved Abattoir ("muted copper frost with a blue duochrome shift"):

In terms of the other Red Dragon colors, it's something you could use as a cheek/complexion color to round out your look, or as a brow highlight to blend downwards into the lid color--something closer to an actual skin tone (and it's sheer, so it's not just for pale complexions) than "smoky dark blue"; it blends particularly well with Leviathan.

On to the lip gloss!

DRAGON'S KISS: The deepest, darkest red... as blood may appear in the moonlight. Subtle spice flavor.

You know, I know every blessed episode title through 3x07, "Digestivo," by heart. Then we hit The Great Red Dragon and the Ridiculously Similar Painting Names and I just gave up. So the episode that inspired this would be--"The Number of the Beast Is 666," yes? It's The Chilton Episode. You know the one. That Scene was nicknamed "the Dragon's Kiss," hence the lip color. Because we are terrible, terrible people. And I'm particularly bad, because my first suggestion was, "I mean, I know this is kind of gothy, but... 'blood appears black in the moonlight'?" With "Moonlight" as a proposed name, because, again, I'm a terrible person. Freddie countered with "Dragon's Kiss," though, and we immediately wanted to go with that because, you know, "kiss" for a lip color. But Kristen did retain the idea of the red being incredibly dark, and put in a bit of shimmer for "moonlight." It's also a bit of an homage to the fact that (as Bryan Fuller said more than once) Standards and Practices let the show get away with murder (...as it were) as long as they used darker shades of stage blood or shot the scenes in deep shadow. So Kristen posts pictures of the lip gloss as she's packing it--

--and I'm like, yeah, that's a pretty deep red. Then my box arrives and I run straight to a mirror to see exactly how dark it is. Seriously, that is the first thing in the box that I tried on. Y'all, it actually is a blackened red. I dabbed a little on my hand, but this really does not get the darkness across:

We ended up using larger swatches I did the other night to try to get the actual darkness of the color across:

The far right edge, the darkest part? That's what it looks like on. It really is a very moody, vampy color. That said, I used the very last vestige of gloss on the brush and managed a very thin application that turned out to be a smoky midtone cinnamon, more like what you see at the very bottom of the swatch. So I was able to get it to a wearability level of "I could wear this to the grocery store," which is my litmus test for such things. That's the thing about Dragon's Kiss--it's a very unusual color, but more versatile than it looks; you can either go super-dramatic/semi-goth "I wear the blood of my enemies" with it, or you can tone it down by blotting or stretching just a metric smidge (1 smg) of it over some clear balm or gloss.

‏@ cleolinda: And now I'm pleasantly spice-scented.

Speaking of scent, there's one more product: the perfume from Alchimia Apothecary.

DRACONIS: Top notes: Bergamot, linden blossom. Heart: Honey, parchment, beeswax. Base: Dragon's blood, labdanum, blonde patchouli.

Dragon's blood resin is actually A Thing; to me, it's always smelled like a combination of cinnamon, cherry, and rose, and it's one of my favorite perfume notes. I've heard labdanum described as somewhere between leather and amber, and I think it's the ambery-powdery note here. The top notes are "golden" to represent the Woman Clothed in Sun in the foreground of those two paintings; the parchment is meant to represent the aged paper of the watercolor paintings themselves. On me, it was a slightly floral honey-amber with some richness from the base notes, and it makes me think more of the Woman than the Dragon (which I like). But then, my skin seems to amp honey; yours may bring out the deeper notes more.

I'm not sure if there will be any extras of the perfume available; another batch might be made, I'm not sure. There are EXTREMELY LIMITED QUANTITIES of the lip gloss, but after the massive amount of interest on Tumblr, Kristen might make a second batch (wait, breaking news--I think she definitely will?). Ah, OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: EXTRAS WILL BE ON THE SITE--Dragon's Kiss, Awe, Wrath, Becoming, Leviathan, 666; Ddraig Goch is unrelated--STARTING NOVEMBER 15, 9 AM EST. What is that, a Sunday (SUNDAY, SUNDAY!)? I'll try to post some reminders between now and then, but definitely keep an eye out for those.

So Surprise Gender Swap Twilight was a thing that happened

2015-10-19T18:27:25Z

I may write an overall summary later, but for now, here is the complete livetweet/discussion (seven days over two weeks) of Twilight Reimagined: Life and Death. The last day is in two parts, because unexpectedly there as A DIVERGENCE and I had to recap the last three chapters twice over. And one of those chapters was an UNBELIEVABLE epilogue that had more plot than the entire rest of the book before it.

https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime2
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime3
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime4
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime5
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime6
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime7
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime8

CRIMSON PEAK CRIMSON PEAK CRIMSON PEAK

2015-10-18T20:23:19Z

THIS MOVIE IS THE LIGHT OF MY FUCKING LIFE

I HAVEN'T BEAMED THROUGH AN ENTIRE MOVIE LIKE THAT SINCE MIA WASIKOWSKA WAS ALSO IN JANE EYRE

MAJOR SPOILERS

EDITH CUSHING IS THE PROVERBIAL CINNAMON ROLL TOO GOOD, TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD AND I ADORE HER

(SHE IS A WRITER AND IT IS META AS FUCK)

(cinemavine.com)

MIA'S WARDROBE IS LITERALLY, IN THE LITERAL SENSE OF LITERALLY, 76% NIGHTGOWNS

I NEED HER CROCHET SHAWL-ROBE

BEST COSTUME OSCARS 2016

TOM HIDDLESTON IS PERFECT AND THIS CHARACTER WOULD NOT HAVE WORKED WITH ANYONE ELSE

MY GOD, THE WALTZ WITH THE CANDLE

OH MY GOD HE PROPOSES TO HER WITH A SPEECH THEY ADAPTED FROM JANE EYRE

M Y F A V O R I T E B O O K

I FUCKING SWOONED

I WENT IN COLD AND STILL GUESSED EVERY SINGLE THING THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

I MEAN THAT AS A COMPLIMENT

THE GOTHIC TROPES WERE THAT ON POINT

(WAIT, NO, I DIDN'T GUESS THE BABY SECRET! THEY GOT ONE OVER ON ME!)

I KNEW THE RED HOT SECOND JESSICA CHASTAIN SHOWED UP THAT SHE + TOM HIDDLESTON = INCEST

LIKE THE ONLY QUESTION IS HOW FAR INTO DOING IT ARE THEY GONNA BE WHEN EDITH WALKS IN ON THEM BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN

(NOT NEARLY AS FAR AS I EXPECTED)

"I WANT MY RING BACK. I EARNED THAT RING"

GIRL YOU DONE SOME MURRRDERRRS

BUT THEN THEY WERE LIKE "AND WE GREW UP IN AN ATTIC"

"WE ONLY HAD EACH OTHERRRRRR"

AND I WAS LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

WERE THERE FLOWERS UP THERE TOO?

I'M ONLY SURPRISED LUCILLE DIDN'T BRING EDITH COOKIES WITH HER POISON TEA

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS ROTTING INDOOR-LEAFY-SNOWY CLAY-BLEEDING HOUSE

I WANT TO LIVE IN IT

(YOU CAN KEEP THE BLOOD CLAY SKELETON GHOSTS THO)

"YOU NEED A BREAK FROM THE MURDER HOUSE, EDITH, LET'S GO FUCK AT THE POST OFFICE"

CHARLIE HUNNAM IS ALSO THERE

(HE'S STILL A GOLDEN RETRIEVER IN HUMAN FORM)

LIKE I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU EVERY FUCKING THING THAT HAPPENS

JUST THE PARTS THAT I FUCKING LOVED

LIKE WHEN CHARLIE SHOWS UP AND REALIZES IN LIKE THIRTY SECONDS THAT EDITH IS DYING OF POISON

AND HE IS LIKE "WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW"

"LITERALLY RIGHT NOW"

"I WILL FIND YOU A COAT TO PUT ON OVER YOUR NIGHTGOWN"

"OH FUCK I'VE BEEN STABBED"

AND THEN THERE IS THE "SIGN THE MONEY PAPERS OR I WILL KILL YOU" TROPE

LIKE.

EDITH, JUST DON'T SIGN THE PAPERS?

AND THEN LUCILLE BURNS EDITH'S MANUSCRIPT!!!

THIS AMY MARCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER

AND THAT IS WHEN EDITH CUSHING HAS HAD FUCKING ENOUGH

SUDDENLY EVERYONE IS STABBING EVERYONE

AND THEN JESSICA CHASTAIN LOSES HER ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT

AND SHE AND MIA ARE FUCKING RACING THROUGH THE ENTIRE GODDAMN HOUSE KNIFING AT EACH OTHER

WHILE JESSICA CHASTAIN SCREAMS "RRRRAHHHHH!!!!!"

AND HER GOTHIC NIGHTGOWN BILLOWS DOWN A MILLION FUCKING STAIRCASES

NIGHTGOWN KNIFE FIGHT

~*~*~ I BECAME A BEING OF PURE DELIGHT ~*~*~

AND THEN

**MAJOR SPOILER**

MY PRECIOUS FRAGILE CINNAMON ROLL

FUCKING KILLS JESSICA CHASTAIN IN THE HEAD WITH A MOTHERFUCKING SHOVEL

AND A WELL-DESERVED ONE LINER

I LIVE INSIDE THIS MOVIE NOW

PLEASE FORWARD ALL MY MAIL TO IT

GO SEE IT IN THE THEATER

OR YOU WILL NEVER STOP REGRETTING IT

"Sparkle consultant" is actually on my business card

2015-10-15T23:54:27Z

So! The Aromaleigh Primavera boxes that Freddie (@Tattle_Crime, reporter extraordinaire, hair game too strong) and I consulted on should have all arrived now, and the very limited-quantity extras are available. (GO GO GO!). So I wanted to walk through the themes and the visual inspirations and all of that, because honestly, matching the colors to the pictures has always been my favorite part.

First things first: the seasons 1-2 collection, the thirty "This Is My Design" colors, continue to be available. (I highly recommend Chrysalis, as it is both sparkly and easy to wear.) This year, though, Kristen's wanted to get into smaller batch collections, so she decided to do pre-orders for two boxed sets, one for the Florence half of season 2 and onse for the Red Dragon half. Thus, Kristen wanted to pull the themes for the first box from a painting that ended up being a major plot point in the first half: Botticelli's La Primavera.

From Kristen's box insert:

"Like a Botticelli," Will realizes, looking at the crime scene photos.

"Exactly like a Botticelli," says Pazzi. "His painting Primavera still hangs in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, just as it did twenty years ago. The garlanded nymph on the right, the flowers streaming from her mouth... Match. Match."

“To find the inspiration il Mostro used was a triumph. I went to the Uffizi and stood before the original Primavera day after day, and most days....I'd see a young Lithuanian man as transfixed by the Botticelli as I was. As transfixed as I imagined il Mostro would be. And every day I saw him...he would recreate the Primavera in pencil, just as he did in flesh...”

Fast forward twenty years, and we find Hannibal back in Florence, reigning in his supreme facade over the city and it’s academia with the fortitude and influence of a Medici. It seems only fitting that Primavera was painted by Botticelli for the Medici family. The Medici were powerful and wealthy patrons of the arts and all things aesthetically pleasing and upscale. Like a modern-day Lorenzo de’ Medici, Hannibal gracefully wraps himself into any role necessary to protect his ruse and feast on the bonfire of modern-day vanities and rudeness. Much like the central themes depicted amongst the mythological characters of Primavera, Hannibal is a dichotomy. Where does the spirit end, and the material begin? Does he possess humanity? Loyalty? Charity?

Over at Wikipedia, we find that La Primavera "is a tale from the fifth book of Ovid's Fasti" in which the first wind of Spring, Zephyr, abducts the wood nymph Chloris, who is then "transformed into Flora, goddess of flowers," the figure beside her (as one interpretation goes) in the painting. The figure in the middle is Venus, who "presides over the garden - an orange grove (a Medici symbol). [...] The Graces accompanying her (and targeted by Cupid) bear jewels in the colors of the Medici family, while Mercury's caduceus keeps the garden safe from threatening clouds." The figure on the far left by the Graces may be Mercury or Mars, according to various interpretations. Furthermore, "in addition to its overt meaning, the painting has been interpreted as an illustration of the ideal of Neoplatonic love popularized among the Medicis and their followers by Marsilio Ficino. The Neoplatonic philosophers saw Venus as ruling over both earthly and divine love and argued that she was the classical equivalent of the Virgin Mary," which may help connect the Christian imagery in the Norman Chapel with the show's simultaneous emphasis on the painting.

There's also symbolism representing the renunciation of carnal desire (Zephyrus on the far right), as the central Grace has turned her back on that side of the painting, "unconcerned by the threat represented to her by Cupid. Her focus is on Mercury, who himself gazes beyond the canvas at what Deimling asserts hung as the companion piece to Primavera: Pallas and the Centaur, in which 'love oriented towards knowledge' (embodied by Pallas Athena) proves triumphant over lust (symbolized by the centaur). It is, on the other hand, possible that, rather than her having renounced carnal love, the intense emotional expression with which she gazes at Mercury is one of dawning love, proleptic of the receipt of Cupid's arrow which appears to be aimed particularly at her; which emotion is being recognised, with an expression at once sympathetic, quizzical and apprehensive, by the sister immediately to her left."

I don't know how closely the show intended us to read into this choice of painting--it originates from an extremely minor plot point for a totally different character in the book Hannibal--but it may be significant that Hannibal and Bedelia, on the lam in Europe, are posing as a married couple. In "Contorno" we find out for sure that there's a carnal aspect there, but Hannibal never, ever shuts up about Will, who seems to occupy a place in his mind and heart that Bedelia, no matter how hard she tries, cannot. I mean, spoilers, but this is a season that ends up with Will, apparently the most oblivious empath on earth, asking her, "Is Hannibal... in love with me?" (And we all screamed "OH MY GOD, WILL" at our TVs.) So the themes of the box set are an exploration of both Renaissance values and Hannibal's own psyche.

(Handy guide: here are my ridiculously in-depth recaps for "Antipasto," "Primavera," and "Secondo." La Primavera plays a key role in "Dolce," but I haven't recapped that yet; the fifth writeup, "Contorno," will be up soon, and then "Dolce" a few weeks--let's be real--after that.)

So, while Freddie's naturally most interested in Red Dragon (we were both sounding boards the whole way through), I was all up in the Florence theme. I just really enjoy that section of the book/movie, and "Antipasto" was one of my all-time favorite episodes. Because I'm so predictable--I love duochromes and iridescence--I always start with the same suggestion, which is "Can we look at the play of light?" (Even when Kristen was doing Blade Runner, I requested the light of Rachael's cigarette behind her hand.) So I was immediately interested in the city lights from the Florence shots.

(I also instantly begged for a firefly eyeshadow, even though that episode is set in Lithuania rather than Italy.)

Oddly, the second thing I always ask about is... fabric? I did it with TIMD, too ("PUT ABIGAIL'S SWEATER ON MY FACE." "BEVERLY'S JACKET. PUT IT ON MY FACE. RIIIIIIGHT ON MY FACE." "MURDER TIE!!"). Most of the Florence scenes have rich, burnished gold tones, so I wasn't entirely sure how we were going to combine that with the cooler sylvan tones of the painting. All I could think to do was start looking for color matches:

As I recall, Kristen actually started off with Bedelia's $11,000 Marchesa gown, omg, as the first concept to play with--a deep blue base with gold "embroidery." And then, once she'd started formulating it, she realized that it looked like fireflies twinkling in the night.

MATERIALIS: "material, worldly" - A deep forest green-blue with strong coppery golden interference shift.

She'd been talking about a number of Renaissance humanist themes, and so this one ended up being Materialis: materialism and the material world. Bedelia struggles against their wealthy facade as "Dr. and Mrs. Fell" to make a deeper connection with Hannibal, but of course, his thoughts always go back to Will.

While fireflies have a partially spiritual meaning in "Secondo" (regarding Mischa and the cochlear garden), their primary symbolism is as a predator consuming snails, which in turn seem to represent Murder Urges themselves (see Chiyoh's last scene with the prisoner). There is a sense of literal, material consumption within that symbolism, which comes to a... head (I'm so sorry) with a firefly-inspired design they ended up not using at the end of "Dolce": if Hannibal can't have Will's mind, he'll take his brain.

(I'm sitting here imagining the faces of the people who just came to look because they're interested in eyeshadow.)

This one's hard to capture in pictures--it can look green at some angles and very blue at others, due to the gold mixed in:

(enlarge)

Like, I am sitting here LOOKING AT IT and it's green, but on camera (iPhone, combination of full spectrum and LED lamps), it comes out more blue. I don't know. (No primer for the upper swatch, primer for the bottom. I would definitely recommend primer, but none of these colors have left stains.) Here's an earlier swatch I did with Spiritus that shows more of the blue-to-green effect:

(enlarge)

Speaking of which:

SPIRITUS: "soul, spirit" - Deep chestnut with strong golden interference shift.

Both Spiritus and Materialis have gold sparkle to bring in the burnished golden tones of the Italy scenes as well as the idea of twinkling lights, whether natural or manufactured. So Spiritus does pull from the rich baroque colors of Florence (a city that seems to have a deeper psychological, not just material, importance to Hannibal),

but it also draws strongly from the Norman Chapel scenes in "Primavera." The votive candles, Abigail's red jacket, and the devilish light on Hannibal's face in the candlelit catacombs:

(farfarawaysite.com)

(Apparently we can file this with Gotcha under Eyeshadows the Same Color as Jackets.)

At certain angles, you can see the chestnut red base more vividly beneath the gold:

(enlarge)

(Top, without primer; bottom, over primer, which I would suggest to keep the gold from fading over long wear. That said, I like to wear my eyeshadow dry for a softer look during the day--in fact, I'm wearing this one right now. Light source: A $7 LED book lamp here at Cleolinda Laboratories. I swear I am not actually that pale in person.)

On to the third one!

HUMANITAS: "humanity, benevolence" - Midtone periwinkle/lilac with a strong coppery rose interference shift.

Kristen drew more from the painting than from the show itself on this one, she said:

(farfarawaysite.com)

The coppery-rose shift in this one is more subtle than the gold in the other two, but Humanitas benefits the most from primer, I think; a dry application turns into a significantly lighter lavender. Here's one that doesn't want to photograph at all, by the way--I was only able to get a little of the color shift to show up (look at the left edge of the first swatch):

(enlarge)

The color also pulls from Zephyrus abducting Chloris, an image the show returns to several times: a murder tableau reenactment and multiple sketch variations.

(farfarawaysite.com)

And I can't believe it took me until I was drafting the "Contorno" recap to realize it, but Hannibal's fixated on that one detail because of his sister's death. Now, while I cling to "Nothing happened to me. I happened," I do wonder how much humanity Hannibal had before Mischa's death, and how the experience changed that.

We also went searching through the recaps for any dialogue on the subject, and in "Buffet Froid," I found "We both know the unreality of taking a life. The people who die when we have no other choice, we know in those moments--they are not flesh, but light, and air, and color." To which Will replies, "Isn't that what it is to be alive?" I like, then, that Humanitas doesn't have the heavier gold of the other two eyeshadows, but is more "light and air." Going back through my concept emails, I found this as well:

1x07: Bedelia to Hannibal: "Maybe it's less of a person suit and more of a human veil." If Humanitas were an all-over/highlight color, a mineral "veil," that would be an interesting quote to pin it to. [This was my original suggestion--the highlighter ended up being Fidelitas, below.] I think we had a complementary idea with Chrysalis as Will looking through that veil. It might also be an interesting place to bring in the "flesh, light and air and color" line to differentiate them, maybe use very subtle but livelier colors from the painting rather than the somewhat eerie tones from the chrysalis scene. In other words, if Chrysalis is Will's veil, what is Hannibal's? The "humanitas" he puts on like a suit. A fancy, fancy suit.

As the description on the Uffizi Gallery site itself says, "What is certain is the humanistic meaning of the work: Venus is the goodwill (the Humanitas), as she distinguishes the material (right) from the spiritual values (left). The Humanitas promotes the ideal of a positive man, confident in his abilities, and sensitive to the needs of others."

Meanwhile, there's also a fourth eyeshadow that has a larger quantity available (samples were included in the boxes). Hold on for Luciferus:

LUCIFERUS: "light" - Ethereal and sheer, borealis sparkling pale chartreuse.

The firefly, the fallen angel, Saaaataaaan. (The art on the projector slide is an engraving (1595) by Cornelis Galle.) It's meant to be "a glitter bomb like Chrysalis," Kristen said, drawing from the greenish-yellow projector light at the Dante presentation in "Antipasto." I had actually suggested a greener spotlight color earlier on--something more in the realm of the traveling flash effect of Veneer and Lapse from TIMD--but this is a lot more wearable than that would have been, I think. (I would also be really interested to see someone do a "firefly" look with this and Materialis.) For these swatches, I applied it very lightly on top, to show how it blends (I feel like sheerness is a virtue with a color like this), in, then over primer:

(enlarge)

Here's a quick swatch I did on the side of my hand, straight out of the mailbox:

I wore it last night (dry, no primer), and the redness of my complexion canceled out most of the yellow-green, leaving a very smooth, evened-out yellowish-cream with a subtle gold sheen (and a ton of sparkle). So the effect will vary with your complexion, whether you use primer, and how heavily you apply it. This is what I tried Spiritus on top of a few hours later; it worked pretty well as a sheer brow highlight.

All together then: here's the four eyeshadows swatched over primer on the back of my hand.

(enlarge)

You can see a little of the rose in Humanitas here, as well as the brightness of Luciferus when it's heavily applied. But there's more! For the rouge and highlighter, let's go back to the painting:

So here's Floridus, "flowering," pulling from the red fabric on the far left and the flowers held by Flora, and Fidelitas, "fidelity," pulling from the same flowers and the pale blue sky, plus a bit of the sheer drapery.

FLORIDUS: "blooming, beautiful" - The perfect neutral red with mauve undertones. Perfectly wearable, with soft lustre.

FIDELITAS: "loyalty, faithfulness" - Delicate pale buffed bronze with pronounced blue interference highlight. (highlighter, can also be used as an eyeshadow)

The concept of "fidelity" relates to the show in a particularly interesting way--on one hand, Will and Hannibal keep betraying each other back and forth, and I'm sure Bedelia does not consider Hannibal to be a particularly faithful fake husband. On the other, there is a certain spiritual fidelity: Will and Hannibal speak of being "conjoined," unsure as to whether they would survive a total separation, and in their very last scene in "The Wrath of the Lamb" (VAGUE SPOILER), there's a final moment that's either a massive betrayal or an eternal commitment. Probably both. (As I wailed on the S3 finale episode of A Matter of Taste, "--and Hannibal's just gonna let him! Oh my God, he just wants to be with his mongoose!!")

I've swatched both the rouge and the highlighter (dry, no primer) below, with one thickly applied stripe and then one very lightly applied (two Floridus stripes and two Fidelitas stripes, in other words). A little bit of the rouge, blended with fingertips or a fluffy brush, will give you a lightly flushed, outdoorsy color (what Will might call "wind-chafed," I guess). I may try Fidelitas as a brow highlight with Humanitas, but it could be a really interesting blush, as well as an all-over highlight. In that last picture in the row, you get a closeup of the blue sparkle:

(enlarge)

There's also a lip color--a matte/creme lipstick named--

CARITAS: A softly cool-neutral wearable berry, one coat is a perfect natural tint. May lean warmer or cooler depending on your skin tone.

--for

1) the trio of Graces/Gratiae, or Charites in Greek, in the painting;

2) the virtue of charity: "The love that is caritas is distinguished by its origin, being divinely infused into the soul, and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up. According to Aquinas, charity is an absolute requirement for happiness, which he holds as man's last goal." Furthermore, "charity has two parts: love of God and love of man," but given how Hannibal seems to view himself as God (and Jesus) (and Judas) (and Satan) (look, he's a very complicated cannibal), the idea takes on something of a twist. What is it he says in the finale--"My compassion for you has become very inconvenient"? You could argue that part of the psychological struggle going on is Hannibal's self-regard yielding to his regard for Will (and go back to "Mizumono" for how bitterly he regretted that at the time). By the end of the Florence half-season, Hannibal has turned himself in rather than accept Will's rejection--a strange combination of selfishness and sacrifice.

The actual product, though! You can apply the lip color lightly (a rosy-pinkish "bitten" look) or more heavily (a medium-deep rose-berry color). Here's Kristen's product pictures:

(enlarge)

There is, finally, a perfume with Alchimia Apothecary:

RENATUS: "rebirth" - For this concept fragrance, we wanted to evoke the olfactory atmosphere one might experience while standing within the painting come to life.

While La Primavera has rebirth symbolism in the transformation of Chloris to Flora, the fragrance has a hazy, nostalgic quality to my nose; I associate it with a combination of the flashback where Will imagines a young Hannibal at the Uffizi Gallery, and the scene in "Dolce" when Hannibal and Will finally meet again in the very same spot --a renewal:

Top notes: Green wood, muscadine, sweet orange, crushed flower stems. Heart: Orange blossom, lily of the valley, dandelion, sweetgrass. Base: White truffles, mahogany, fallen woods.

The idea being, of course, to turn the visual details of the painting into scent. In addition to the floral and sylvan notes, the truffles are for the tartiufi bianchi Bedelia buys at Vera Dal; the orange notes are for the orchard in the painting, which has an interesting visual echo in "Antipasto":

(farfarawaysite.com)

I'm not sure if there will be extras available; it's possible more might be made if there's interest, I'm hearing.

And so that's the Primavera box set; we're currently working on the Red Dragon box set (you may remember the samples of 666 that I gave out at Dragon Con), which ought to mail out in a couple of weeks. Pre-orders are sold out, but extras will be made available as well, so keep an eye out for that post as well.

Checkin' checkin' in

2015-10-11T16:30:38Z

So "let's take a day to livetweet Surprise Gender Swap Twilight" (yes, this is a real, official Stephenie Meyer book. This is not a drill) turned into a comparative-gender-studies week-long ordeal and I haven't even gotten to Vampire Baseball yet. (I'm over on my secondary Twitter account, @cleolindajones, for all this.) I'm having a lot of fun with it, but I definitely needed to take yesterday off, catch up on my sleep, and work on an Aromaleigh post. (Extras from the sold-out Primavera box will be available in the next few days? Don't let Kristen know I let you see this.) (I think Luciferus is the one I talked her into doing as an open edition? I didn't let you see this either.)

Anyway, if you'd like to catch up, here are the collected livetweets by day:

https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime2
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime3
https://storify.com/cleolinda/sparkletime4

Also, the other week I posted a multimedia Dragon Con writeup detailing my adventures, including meeting Scott Thompson and Aaron Abrams, aka the "darling boy" story (*facepalm*), plus two different podcasts I was on to discuss it if you've ever wanted to hear me shout "FUCK A FUCKING DUCK," whee.

ALERT ALERT ALERT

2015-10-06T22:10:13Z

There is somehow a Surprise New Gender Swap Twilight Book, and I have been livetweeting it on my secondary twitter at a snail's pace all day long (I keep getting caught up in comparing the versions, which will surprise no one who reads the Hannibal recaps). Yes: Beaufort Swan and Edythe Cullen. My right hand to God.

Speaking of which, bonus Storify: That time I decided Edward was a disappointing son that Hannibal kicked out.

(ahhhhh I was getting done with the "Contorno" recap, daaaaamn youuuuuu)

Super quick update

2015-09-24T14:26:49Z

We're currently working on the pre-ordered Aromaleigh boxes--Primavera will go out early next month, I think?--and I wanted to set up some tags for "inspiration post" discussions of those. I think we may have an extra surprise on the way as well, plus extras from both Primavera and Red Dragon will be available at some point, so keep an eye out for that.

Quick updates

2015-09-21T16:48:27Z

Finally recovering from my probably convention-induced sinus infection. Even after I fought off a tickle of a cough that only lasted a day or two, I felt weirdly clammy, not-feverish, and exhausted for another whole week. I mean, honestly, I was still that sick six weeks after Dragon Con 2014, so I'll take it. There's also some personal stuff going on--I'm used to a lot of creepy on the internet, but experiencing some of it IRL this month kind of rattled me, I think.

@cleolinda: [...] I may take a Quiet Day [last week]. Feel like the walls are closing in on me a bit.

(Window Guy returned last week. I briefly overheard him rattling on about rail guns and "safeguarding your homestead" to my stepfather as I left the house for my quarterly psych visit/med check. My stepfather later texted my mom, "HE WILL NOT SHUT UP, HELP." We have all agreed not to have him back.)

@cleolinda: So I think that, plus coming home from a few weird incidents at Dragon Con, to a week of home repair guys, has overwhelmed me a little.

(Gutter repair guys. They were fine, but it was still unnerving to have them hanging around outside my second-story window for a week.)

I'll get into those in the Dragon Con writeup I've nearly finished (last year's "writeup" ended up being a tangent in a Hannibal recap, so I feel like I'm doing pretty good). Short version, if you didn't see my tweets at the time--I wasn't threatened or assaulted or anything; the one incident that got physical was a wild elevator almost-fight that I was merely present for. I view the other two incidents as "negligibly weird" and "inconveniently weird," respectively. I think what really happened last week was, when you throw in "inappropriately talky doomsday prepper who WON'T LEAVE OUR HOUSE" and multiple new/exciting weirdnesses, it turned into a "more than the sum of its parts" kind of weight. Because no individual incident was anything to worry about. But this is what people mean when they talk about the weight of microaggressions (usually in the context of enduring far more than this), I guess--a collective phantom heaviness, not a singular thing you can confront or resolve. (Have you heard my new ambient noise prog-rock supergroup, The Phantom Heaviness Collective?) So I just started feeling... crowded.

The Stealth Moth Invasion is not helping with that sensation, to be honest. I was away traveling/convening for the better part of six days, and then I was sick for--what, too? My vigilance slipped. I look around, and suddenly it's MOTH COCOONS EVERYWHERE.

@cleolinda: "We thought you needed some dust so we got you some dust for your dust" -- our moths, apparently

My living space has always been dusty, even at the best of times--remarkably so--but the dust has taken on a different quality since the moths arrived. A... clumpy... quality. Like... tiny dust-bunny tumbleweeds. Look, I don't want to know if it's moth vomit or excreta or SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, I JUST WANT TO GET RID OF IT. (Have you heard my new grunge-goth quintet, Moth Vomit?) Apparently there is also a Moth Quota, because when I swept a small colony of cocoons down (I cannot tell you how grossed out I am by that sentence, forget actually confronting the reality of it), their numbers almost entirely renewed within a day or two. Whereas, if you leave them alone, they increase at a slower rate (said the moth anthropologist. The mothropologist, if you will). It reminds me a lot of when my stepfather buzzcuts our jessamine vines (STOP THAT) and they shoot forth massive Angry Jasmine regrowth tendrils within the week. You realize what this means, right? Either the moths are a sentient collective monitoring their own numbers... or there is a Queen Moth who is REALLY, REALLY PISSED OFF.

(Queen Moth is the lead singer of the Phantom Heaviness Collective, not Moth Vomit. I know, I was surprised as well.)

@cleolinda: What they don't know is that now that my sister's moved out I have inherited an AIR FILTER (*THUNDERCLAP*)

I mean, she moved out in early June, but pre-PCOS treatment, I was a listless apathetic mess. Like, just in life generally. So.

@cleolinda: LOL MOTHS AHAHAHAHAHA

And then my amazing $47 vacuum cleaner promptly fell apart. My understanding is that you have to work a bit to get the hose attachment really thoroughly screwed in, and it'll be solid once I achieve that.

But back to the PCOS treatment regimen, which at this point--on top of what I take for bipolar II--is Spironolactone, Sprintec, a prescription-strength vitamin D supplement, and (new, from my psych, yet to be filled) a folic acid supplement to help... process serotonin? The first three really, really helped keep my energy up at the con, I think--I would hit the "no more will to con" point, but then, after a bottle of water and some crackers, would return in about half an hour to a much higher health/energy baseline than I had been used to (I started taking the vitamin D the morning I left). The first few days I was sick, I had too much mental energy to sleep. Previously, I had thought of my bipolar cycle as largely a neutral state of existence with dips into depression and leaps into hypomania or mania. By comparison, that now seems like I was depressed and listless all the time, with the occasional tumble into even deeper depression; my "normal" now feels like my old cheerful-productive hypomanic state, which rarely came around--albeit calmer and more even. Like, other than the second week of being sick, it's how I feel all the time now. That just blows my mind. I had no idea that I could function at this level in the long term. Now, I was practically giddy the first couple of days I was taking Spiro by itself, and that did wear off; it's possible that these are temporary benefits that will level off. Plus, we're creeping toward the Dark Time of Year, and all bets may be off once we hit the SAD winter doldrums. It's still just... I've been getting used to all this for the better part of a month, I've started a second cycle on Sprintec, two or three weeks on vitamin D feel pretty consistent... I don't know what to make of it.

In fact, it reminds me a lot of my sophomore year of college, after I'd spent a summer getting used to Zoloft and therapy, and I started discovering an entirely different person. Or rather, mostly the same person, but with some character traits that were the complete opposite of how I was used to functioning. Maybe part of it was just growing up; you can probably attribute a lot of sarcastic, shy, resentful insecurity just to being a young teenager. But it was like I had this weight lifted off me by antidepressants, and I discovered an unexpected confidence and enthusiasm, a "let's put on a show" initiative that led to me proposing and running poetry readings in our little college coffee shop. I absolutely would not say that medication is for everyone, but it made, and continues to make, a huge different for me. I met the the person I am today that year. Now that I have all this new energy, both physical and mental, I'm wondering what else I don't know about myself, and who else I'm about to meet.

Anyway, that's more Hella Deep than I intended to get. I recorded two fairly substantial podcasts last week, both a Dragon Con-themed Made of Fail with Emily and a report on the Hannibal-related activities + finale and series discussion with the Matter of Taste guys; the latter for sure should go up this week, I think. (There's two more things I would not have been able to fathom doing at age thirteen: public speaking without a second thought and running my mouth on multiple podcasts.) Now that I'm shaking off the sinus infection, I'm going to finish the convention writeup and then get back to recapping "Contorno," I guess. I have some other things I'd like to work into my (very loose) posting schedule, but I've always hoped to do multiple things and then not had the energy to follow through. We'll have to see if things work differently now.

DRAGON CON 2015

2015-09-13T20:37:36Z

For the full multimedia experience, hit Storify #1 (general adventures) and/or Storify #2 (only Hannibal-related happenings plus the Fan Expo in Canada the same weekend). Also, I'm on the latest, Hannibal series retrospective episode of A Matter of Taste, and they give me the first half hour to tell Dragon Con stories. (I was also surprisingly emotional about Hannigram. "He just wants to be with his mongoose!!") Emily and I also--after a great deal of technical trouble--have posted a fully Dragon Con-themed Made of Fail with our collected adventures, including the un-Hannibal-related ones. The AMOT stories were recorded second and so are a bit more practiced, but MOF has Emily's side of the experience as well. (Also, me shouting "FUCK A FUCKING DUCK!") So I've listed time codes throughout for your convenience, and you can actually hear me tell these stories aloud if you so desire.

THURSDAY

We had an inauspicious start with Delta losing Emily's suitcase and my train taking six hours instead of four, due to a freight train ahead of us doing something for some reason, I don't even know. (MOF 00:34:20.) Texts I sent to my friend Lily Rose:

I know exactly which passenger we're eating first

Pushy annoying as fuck lady who asked them to change the train station TV to tennis and then sat across from me.

The moment they closed the cafe car, she thought that meant we were arriving and she packed up and hustled up to the very front so she can get off first. Also she talked very loudly on her phone half the time.

I'm getting mad in a very amused, detached way now

@cleolinda: Day six: still on train

@cleolinda: Last year it took like 45 minutes for Amtrak to bring up the luggage, so I cheerfully look forward to the continuation of this clusterfuck.

@cleolinda: I mean that. As Chesterton said, "An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered."

@cleolinda: Please don't make me regret saying that.

I was most worried about getting a cab at the train station--something I've never done by myself before--but oddly enough, that was the easiest thing I did the whole day. (Atlanta Checker Cab phone app; driver called my phone and found me in the Amtrak station before my suitcase was even unloaded.) By the time I got to the Hilton sometime after--I don't know, 10 pm?--my dazzle was completely chagrined, however, and Emily (still suitcaseless) had to coax me down to the lobby restaurant for foods. Her luggage finally came in after 3 am, so that was a late night for us, to say the least.

Before we continue, let's take a look at the map that's on the Dragon Con app:

This is the convention campus, if you will--three central hotels connected by skybridges (built for Dragon Con years ago, IIRC), with the Westin and the Sheraton on either side, pressed into service in more recent years as the convention continued to grow. Counter-clockwise: You pick up your badge in the Sheraton; I was staying in the Hilton; the Marriott there in the center is where cosplayers tend to promenade, with the autograph tables of the Walk of Fame on a lower floor; the art shows (and bar scene, apparently) are in the Hyatt; and the horror track, where panels I'm either on or want to see usually are, is in the Westin. On that end, the America's Mart is where the vendors are laid out; the Peachtree Center has a food court with a ton of options, although it's difficult to squeeze in during the convention. (There's also a CVS there that is extremely useful if you need or have forgotten some key item.) So these are your stomping grounds for the long Labor Day weekend. (I finally understood my love for this convention once I realized how much it reminded me of my small-liberal-arts-college experience: seminars in closely-set buildings, a "student center" food court, all-night dorm life, and everything in ten minutes' walking distance.) I won't lie, I pulled up Google Maps to get from the Hilton to the Sheraton, just to make sure I was walking in the right direction; the area is full of tall, closely-packed buildings, so it's not like you can see straight across the square to where you're going. The Dragon Con app is also indispensable because it has maps of the hotel floors, and the Marriott, which DOES NOT NUMBER ITS GODFORSAKEN FLOORS, is where always, always I get lost.

FRIDAY

@cleolinda: Do you like my murder tie #dragoncon

With my trusty paisley black ribbon lanyard and camera pendant from last year as well.

(For some reason, my skin sometimes photographs LITERALLY WHITE in natural light, I swear to God that I am not that pale in person.)

@cleolinda: It's so funny to me that I'm a hermit 360 days of the year, and then Con Weekend I'm like AYYYYY HIT ME UP

@cleolinda: I'm there in a fandom capacity so I am genuinely like "HAY STRANGERS I DON'T BITE MEET ME HERE."

@merveille: It's surprising how much of the media you cover requires that disclaimer.

@cleolinda: Seriously, PLEASE come hit me up, I'm carrying about fifteen pounds of buttons/stickers/eyeshadow samples to give away.

SPEAKING OF WHICH:

[x]

(The Name of the Eyeshadow I Gave Out Is 666.)

Line #1

10:45 AM:

@cleolinda: WHO WILL BE HERE FOR THE 1 PM PANEL? #Hannibal #dragoncon

@cleolinda: Holy shit there's already a line to get in

@DragonConHorror: @cleolinda I knew crowds would be large, but... seriously everyone, show up early if you absolutely have to see something.

I discussed Dragon Con lines--or at least, the ones I've experienced--right after I came back at greater length, but here's the major takeaway:

I’ve only ever been to Hannibal events, since either tattle-crime sent me to "cover" those or I was on them (I feel pompous saying that, but there it is), so I can’t speak for the crowdedness of other tracks or fandoms. Like, I couldn’t go to other panels; a typical day was 1) get from my room in the Hilton through the Marriott to the Hyatt via sky bridges (the “habitrails”) and then outside a couple of blocks to the Westin, which can take 10-15 minutes or A FUCKING HOUR depending on the crowds and time of day; 2) find the room the panel would be in and wait around until a line was allowed to start; 3) hang out with a bottle of water and some crackers in line, usually sitting on the carpeted floor (they’ll tell you when to stand up and get ready to go in); 4) sit in proper chairs for about half an hour; 5) enjoy the panel, itself generally an hour long. Here’s a picture someone took of the line for the Friday afternoon Q&A (there are even more people in the back corner outside the frame); my understanding is that it was one of two rooms they set aside for that one panel’s line, since the Q&As were in ballrooms rather than the usual Peachtree Room.

So you might set aside three hours for a single hour-long event. I would schedule one thing to do in the morning, see where I would be between that and the next thing I wanted to do in the afternoon/evening, and then find something nearby that I could do–hit the Walk of Fame (autograph tables in the Marriott) or the vendors (America’s Mart on the Westin side of the “campus”) or Artist Alley (in the Hyatt), or maybe get lunch with someone (there’s also a mall food court across from the Hyatt), or get on Twitter and find out if anyone who wanted to meet up and say hi was in the area.

So that's the pattern you're going to see here. As a system, it actually works pretty well.

@cleolinda: WHO IS ELSE SITTING IN THE LINE FOR #HANNIBAL PANEL. LOOK UP. THE PURPLE FLOWER CROWN. IT ME. I HAVE STUFF FOR YOU.

@noizangel: YOU HAVE TURNED INTO @BryanFuller

@cleolinda: @noizangel @BryanFuller I HAVE TO CAPSLOCK SO THEY CAN HEAR ME

@cleolinda: I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST YELL OUT "WHO WANTS BUTTONS" BUT omg there's a girl in a kimono and stocking mask

@cleolinda: There's nothing quite like looking over and seeing a Francis Dolarhyde in the corner.

Texts to Lily Rose:

Yeah. I got in line for this panel an hour ago. I'm at the halfway point now.

>> Oh my god I would die.

It's one of those police tape maze lines, they set aside a whole room for it.

>> Which panel is it?!

People really need to not underestimate how many people just want to see Scott Thompson.

>> Oh, that panel. Heh. Well, he's been around for a LONG time. And he's pretty cool.

Actually--as mentioned--they set aside two rooms for the line. Seriously, do not underestimate Scott Thompson; I talked to tons of people who were excited specifically to see him.

Q&A #1

@cleolinda: I didn't take notes because I wanted to actually pay attention; I saw other people recording. However, I will tell you that they were asked

@cleolinda: "What kind of tableau would #Hannibal put you in?" Aaron replied, "He'd just drop us in the 69 position."

@Tattle_Crime: Crying about Asparagus Foam as @cleolinda recounts stories from @ScottThompson_ and @MrAaronAbrams at @DragonConHorror

Wherever Scott had dinner the night before, something had "asparagus foam" on it, and he just could not handle the sheer pretentiousness of it. He's probably not over it even now (nor should he be).

@karykeion: please, please recount the foam/buttcrack thing if you can. i hope someone gif'd that bc it must be seen to be believed.

To Lily Rose: I have to tell you the Lithuanian buttcrack story from yesterday, I can't believe I am typing this out because I am a lady goddammit

(THE STRUGGLE IS REAL: 00:19:00+.)

What happened was, there were several running jokes throughout the panel:

1) Scott's indignation at culinary foam;

2) Aaron's trembly Will impression ("Gimme a line." "THIS IS MY DESIGN!!" "Okay..." *DEEP SHAKY BREATH INTO MIC*);

3) Scott, admitting that he can't do Mads' Danish accent ("No one can do it! He says his own brother can't do it!"), only a German one that just got worse (by his own admission) as the weekend wore on,

4) periodically intoning "This is what I have always wanted... for both of us" from the finale;

5) Aaron telling multiple stories about directors telling him, during lab/investigation scenes, to put his face into corpses' (who were sometimes played by live actors, not just mannequins) "pubes and buttcracks";

6) an offhand remark about cheerfully shooting "killdren" in 1x04, "Oeuf";

and then all of them came together at the very end, when--and I forget exactly what led up to this--Scott urged huskily, "Put your face into my Lithuanian buttcrack, Will. Put the foam in my buttcrack. This is what I have always wanted. For both of us."

@karykeion: @cleolinda "This...is my design..." "I know, will...I know...do not be afraid...of my lithuanian buttcrack" i FELL out of my CHAIR

@karykeion: @cleolinda what made it was aaron's contribution, which i have to assume was supposed to be will, of this hushed, awed "...butt...crack?"

And then Aaron went into Will's encephalitis eyeroll. The moderator concluded this, and the panel itself, with "Think of the killdren!"

Texts to Lily Rose:

This is after Scott went on about masturbating to young Laurence Fishburne, and TELLING Laurence so. It was A Wild Ride From Start To Finish.

Scott also said something genuinely deep about there not being a kiss in the finale--"It's fascinating, it's this statement that we're more comfortable watching men kill each other than watching men fuck."

>> That is amazing. All of that.

They were just totally delightful, happy to be there, tons of fun. After the buttcrack finale they promised to write us an "erotic musical" for tomorrow. I am fucking terrified.

I should add that there were lots of fun costumes at the panel--one of my favorite pictures was just casually taken between a pair of antlers. The first audience member to get in line for questions was a Kitchen Fight Hannibal with a "bloody" apron, which got an appreciative laugh; there was also a brave soul in a plastic murder suit. As everyone was leaving, a crowd gathered around a fantastic Wendigo--this was as close as I was able to get, but the pictures-of-pictures aesthetic seems to work for the occasion:

[x]

(Here's an in-depth look at the Wendigo cosplay, which was a big hit on the Walk of Fame.)

A cool and quiet afternoon

@cleolinda: Quiet time in a far-flung lobby area of the Westin 6th floor. Going to put together grab bags.

[x / x]

I didn't spend much time in the Westin last year because I was always flailing around to get from one hotel to the other and then back again (due a more complicated schedule than I had this year), and I think it actually ended up being my favorite hotel to just hang out in. Lots of armchairs and places to just rest, a Starbucks and a cafe/bar that had really good quesadillas (my late lunch/early dinner), and really good air conditioning.

However, I mention this because I noticed a pattern as I was writing all this up: I was a little weirded out when a middle-aged man (in his fifties, maybe?) came and sat down opposite to me a few seconds after I settled down to put together grab bags. All he did was exchange a few pleasantries and play on his phone, and I obviously have no right to take over a table with four armchairs. But there were plenty of other quiet, isolated places to sit in that area, and he got up to leave half an hour later--the moment I started packing my bag. The timing was just... strange. And there were plenty of other times when people sat down in chairs even closer to me and it didn't feel weird at all, and there were plenty of people I started conversations with. Every now and then, though, things would get... weird.

(I honestly didn't think much of it until a couple of weeks after the con, when a lot of minor, varied creepiness kind of piled up on me and I sort of had a delayed-reaction life-withdrawal for a few days. It was the Doomsday Prepper that threw everything into sharp, creepy relief, really.)

On the other hand:

@cleolinda: Someone just walked up to me and said "I LOVE YOUR WORK" and I only JUST NOW got why that was funny.

Hannibal ~~Fannibal Pannibal~~ Fan Panel

@cleolinda: Gift bags fluffed, panel currently seating, sound check in progress.

[x]

We were giving away two full sample sets of the This Is My Design colors, an Evil Supply Co. grab bag (I thought it would be fitting), needlepoint from @MelissaTink, Tux's art prints, and three signed scripts via Loretta Ramos, Hannibal producer/superstar/saint on earth. As with last year, getting the Stuff given out fairly and efficiently in what little time we would have was my biggest concern.

@Tattle_Crime: VERY excited to be on the panel via skype tonight, nervous about questions! Usually I ASK the questions! @cleolinda @Wolven @DragonConHorror

I managed to be at the panel on time--mostly because I stayed on the premises all day long--and Freddie had a good Skype connection this year, and that was basically all I wanted. I mean, I do think the panel went really smoothly--eight panelists, and we didn't talk over each other!--and was plenty entertaining, room filled to capacity, good questions, I strung words into coherent patterns, etc.; I'm just saying that prioritizing one or two goals can simplify your anxieties a lot.

@cleolinda: FLAWLESS PANEL VICTORY #Hannibal #dragoncon

@cleolinda: Also, @Tattle_Crime has a real talent for working a crowd, and she wasn't even physically there.

(AMOT discussion of the fan panel starts at 00:02:57 and then again at 00:30:20; throughout the finale conversation, I keep remembering that I said this or that on the panel as well. Emily and I start discussing at MOF 00:28:40.)

And then Emily, Erica (my 2014 roommate), and a longtime forum friend I'd never met in person (remind me, Liz, are you on LJ too?) grabbed a late dinner at the Metro Diner. There were waffles and ambient karaoke.

SATURDAY

@MrAaronAbrams: "I don't know who you are but I can tell from your facial hair that you think I'm supposed to" -girl who just came up to me, amazing person

@MrAaronAbrams: .@ScottThompson_ on signing things: "Ask me to desecrate something and I am THERE." #DragonConWithScott

Line #2

@cleolinda: I'll be in the Hyatt this morning for the #Hannibal Q&A (and its attendant line), then Marriott this afternoon?

This was during (after?) the parade, and I think we were supposed to have lined up outside, but crowds made that impossible; they eventually just let us sit down in the actual ballroom on actual chairs rather than a line party on the carpet.

Q&A #2

Which you can watch! Part one! Part two! And here is Wolven--who invited me to do panels in the first place--looking smooth in his capacity as moderator. Panel pictures:

@MitigatedText: @cleolinda pannibal part one

@MitigatedText: @cleolinda pannibal part 2

@kilgorene: #FannibalsArentDone the best panels @DragonCon are about #Hannibal

@kilgorene: Will Graham impression by @MrAaronAbrams at the #Hannibal panel @DragonCon. @ScottThompson_ does a German Mads. ;)

Q&A #2 was the Mads Appreciation Hour in particular. Scott was talking about how most of the "Price and Zeller process Hannibal" scene at the beginning of 3x08 was cut, but when Scott had to swab Mads' cheek: "I got to put my fingers in his mouth. And he knew I was taking a long time." (Coy, come-hither Mads impression from Aaron. "He also knew what was happening.") "He knew what was happening, he liked it. He doesn't care if you fantasize about him, he doesn't care if you're animal, vegetable or mineral, he enjoys it." If this is true, then it suddenly explains a lot about several naked plot developments Mads himself requested.

("He loves it when vegetables fantasize about him.")

And then--I think the question was, which murder tableaux did they like? And Scott picked Hannibal's "crucifixion" in "Mukozuke." (AMOT 00:25:20.) Because "I've always fantasized about sex with Jesus." No, I don't know how he wasn't struck by lightning, either. I think this was before they started discussing a Jimmy Price twin porno, initially to be called Priceless, but then The Price Is Right ("No," said Scott, "the Price is wrong"), and finally, per an audience member's suggestion, Two for the Price of One. (MOF 00:14:18; AMOT 00:26:20.) But, again, you can actually watch all of this. What you really don't want to miss is Scott's Charlie's Angels/Christie Love shooting stance (you may remember it from this Post Mortem interview clip as well). Keep it in your mind's eye, because in the second half:

@cleolinda: I'm not sure why a line of Stormtroopers invaded the #Hannibal panel

@cleolinda: but Scott and Aaron chased them off, finger guns drawn

@cleolinda: "FREEZE, SUCKER!!" shouted Scott, in hot pursuit. Aaron kicked in a curtain as backup. I am not making this up.

(looking-like-a-saint.tumblr.com)

(AMOT 00:04:30.)

Ayyyyy, it made CNN.

The Walk of Fame

I was going to the autograph tables to get signed pictures for Freddie, but low blood sugar, dehydration, heat, and overcrowding are not an ideal combination:

I've got the shakes so bad. I'm trapped in the Marriott, not realizing there would be nowhere to sit but the carpet on the edges of the cosplay crowd.

@cleolinda: @Tattle_Crime has talked me into going to see them at their autograph thing. I don't know how to talk to people who live in my TV

@Tattle_Crime: you talk to me just fine!

@cleolinda: it's true. And I have you as the icebreaker.

@cleolinda: So is there anything, Twitter, you would like me to tell @MrAaronAbrams and @ScottThompson_?

@MrAaronAbrams: @cleolinda @ScottThompson_ ask Scott how is it possible that Aaron is such a darling, darling boy.

I MEAN, HE TOLD ME TO

@Tattle_Crime: Crying as @cleolinda tells me how she accidentally said something in a much more seductive tone than she meant to use to @MrAaronAbrams

@cleolinda: I did manage to find @MrAaronAbrams and @ScottThompson_ , & they were lovely and charming, go see them if you're there.

@cleolinda: And I did in fact introduce myself to Aaron with "I can't ask Scott yet" (he was w/someone) "why you are such a darling, darling boy."

(AMOT 00:09:10; MOF 00:16:20.)

Y'all, his eyes got so big for like two seconds before he remembered. Fortunately, he burst out laughing at that point.

(I make a bit of a confession on AMOT. 00:10:40.)

I did, in fact, introduce myself as Freddie's representative for the convention--Aaron had done an interview with her, so that was some way to start. And I was bringing a set of the swag I'd been handing out, because why not, so that was another icebreaker.

@cleolinda: @thetuxedos btw, did Freddie tell you what Scott said when I gave him the Dolarhyde back tattoo print? "Well, she knows what I like"

@thetuxedos: OH MY GO S H

@cleolinda: Your stuff was like a smoke bomb for my awkwardness. "NO DON'T LOOK AT ME HAVE SOME COOL ART" "oooooh"

(I need to frame it next to her 2014 Dragon Con art, which I am still not over.)

Texts to Lily Rose, re: my accidental sultriness (sent much later that night):

>> I would totally flirt with Aaron. Or burst into hysterical giggles. One or the other.

Considering that I was a literal hot mess on the verge of a panic attack--not because of meeting them, because of the seven circles of hell that are the Marriott--bright-eyed and sincere was the best I could manage.

So [in the notecards I included with the swag] I thanked Scott for saving us [from stormtroopers] and Aaron for all the livetweeting, bringing so much joy to fandom, etc. [I wrote them while] I had low blood sugar shakes and couldn't write straight. I had two Aleve and a martini afterwards.

>> Aww. That's very sweet. Did you actually get to talk to them or was it just a quick meeting?

I did, a couple of minutes. I showed [Aaron] my "press badge" just because I get a huge kick out of it; I can't remember if he said Cleolinda is a lovely name or a pretty name, so of course I blurted out that my real name is Lauren, thereby obviously giving him fairy tale power over me

>> Lol

[Scott and I] discussed the attractiveness of Richard [Armitage]

I said something similarly sincere about thank you for coming down to see us

Other people showed up then, and I made my exit.

And I was a literal hot ruddy mess because it was actual hell in the Marriott, hell in a sardine can, worse than last year. So that was great.

And then I found my way across the Marriott to the Hyatt skybridge, only to step two feet onto it and remember that my room wasn't in the Hyatt.

Texts to Freddie:

The Marriott broke me. Again. I need to go sit in a cool shower before I have an actual panic attack

Everyone I've talked to--strangers in elevators, even--agrees that this year is exceptionally crazypants. People got started partying on WEDNESDAY.

I am trying to convince myself to go to dinner. I want to never move from this bed ever again. Except for losing my will to live, though, today has gone really well

Occasionally you lose your will to con, is what I'm saying. This year I rescued myself, at least?

MEANWHILE, IN CANADA: mysticowl ended up at a Mads Mikkelsen Q&A at Fan Expo by sheer chance (much more on this in the Storify) (update: and her own!), and apparently he spent the weekend being completely adorable.

BACK IN ATLANTA:

@g4tisss: The #Hannibal meetup was a [murderous] success ♡ @BryanFuller @neoprod @DeLaurentiisCo @MrAaronAbrams @lorettaramos

@g4tisss: The Abigail babies at the #hannibal meet up yesterday @BryanFuller @KaceyKadoodles @neoprod @DeLaurentiisCo

@KaceyKadoodles: look at all these fierce babies! yes! i love it!

I wasn't able to go to this or 5 Truths and a Lie, which Scott and Aaron also did, because Emily had wrangled reservations at Nikolai's Roof for us. (MOF 00:43:00.) I ended up with a gin berry martini (cranberry, lime, and Chambord, I think?), seared beef tenderloin in a sherry reduction with sweet corn and pancetta, then a Grand Marnier soufflé with almond crème fraiche. I nearly got the ricotta/sweet corn/blueberry ravioli with Iberian ham. Someone else we were with ordered the roasted poussin rouge--chicken, essentially, but the chef felt like making it with duck breast that night. Oh, we'll just substitute something even richer, nbd. This place was nowhere near the region of fucking around--by leaps and bounds, the most expensive meal I've ever eaten. And apparently I'm not allowed to feel financially guilty about it, because I was telling my mom that I was exhausted and might not go, and she freaked out--she'd eaten there years and years ago (I believe she had the red beet and beef borscht consommé?)--and insisted that I go. Unsurprisingly it was the best meal I had all weekend, but also strangely, satisfyingly light.

SUNDAY

@MrAaronAbrams: Day 3 of #DragonCon and I have yet to go 4 minutes without blurting out a "holy shit".

@hankscnn: Fannibal alert! I'm talking #Hannibal with @MrAaronAbrams @ScottThompson_ at 11:30 today! #DragonCon

Line #3

@cleolinda: In huge line for the last #Hannibal Q&A

@cleolinda: Oh my God this isn't even the #Hannibal line. There's a line for the Hannibal line.

Yeah... turns out I was in the Defiance (?) line.

@cleolinda: I asked a volunteer if I was at the right line; I knew I wasn't because there were no antlers OR flower crowns.

I am completely serious about that, by the way: that is exactly how I knew I could not be in the right place. You will know a gathering of fannibals (what's the collective noun there? a tableau of fannibals? "a murder of fannibals" seems too easy) when you see one.

Once I was finally in the right line, someone from a Hannibal's Kitchen Facebook group--I think?--was very quickly going through handing out swag; I wish I'd gotten a chance to talk to her. At my panel, I'm pretty sure she was also the one who gave each of the panelists an envelope, which, in my hurry to clean up the panel table, I didn't remember to open until the next day:

[x]

(I've promised to take front-and-back pictures of the individual recipe cards at some point--they're real, functional recipes.)

(I had the Facebook link and now I can't find it again. Odd thing I discovered while trying to google it: there is at least one restaurant by that name.)

@kilgorene: Waiting for the #Hannibal panel with @cleolinda and got these amazing buttons! Thank you!

A delightful thing that happened a few times: talking to someone for like 15-20 minutes, and then I'd say something about "yeah, I'm going to all the Hannibal panels for a fansite" (I get such a kick out of the Tattle Crime badge)

or "yeah, the fan panel last night, I was on it" and some kind of penny would drop and the person I was talking to would be like "WAIT ARE YOU CLEO?" (And then I would give them stuff.) I didn't expect anyone to ~know me; it was just super fun when they did.

Q&A #3

@foresthouse: The super-happy crowd for the last #Hannibal panel, w/ @MrAaronAbrams & scottthompson_. @DragonCon

@foresthouse: .scottthompson_'s play-by-play trip to the distant water pitcher at the last #Hannibal panel

("I'M HALFWAY THERE! I'M ALMOST THERE! I'M THERE! I'M TAKING A REST NOW! I'M ON MY WAY BACK!")

Q&A 3 was in a cold ballroom (which, honestly, I appreciated at that point in the Atlanta heat). Aaron in his t-shirt was freezing, so early on, he ran off backstage and came back wrapped in a black stage curtain. (Maybe it was a table cloth?) Several minutes later: "Wait, this is WET!" Then he realized it left exactly one wet spot on his clothes. (MOF 00:09:30.)

[x / x]

@MrAaronAbrams: Our panels were weird.

@sunnyallison: Is that @cleolinda's flower crown photobombing at the bottom?

@cleolinda: *facepalm*

I vaguely remember a discussion of shipping (Scott had apparently always thought that was short for worshipping. "Wait, RELATIONSHIPS?!"), and Aaron joked about shipping us all with each other in his head. At one point, someone asked--what was the question, if Scott and Aaron had their very own flower crowns, maybe? I was sitting in the second row--the front row was all but empty, so basically I was in the front, and when they were like flower crowns what?, Emily turns and points to me, meaning You're wearing one! It's possible Aaron saw that, because now he points down to me and says, "Was it you [who came up with them]?" And I fucking FREEZE. Mostly because I wasn't sure if he was talking to someone else in a flower crown behind me and you know how stupid you feel when you realize someone wasn't talking to you? So I'm just all "NO WHAT IT WASN'T ME?" Yeah. I had already used up all my smoove for the weekend, apparently. So I tried to explain it on Twitter--and then later, in person, at which point I was made to promise to never again say which fandom it started in. Heh. (MOF 00:24:15.)

("I'm still shipping you with that guy in the back," he added.)

At some point Emily gave Aaron her crown-- she'd interviewed Scott and Aaron before at an SDCC roundtable, I think?

[x]

Also, he and Scott were joking back and forth about being terrible actors, and at one point Scott decided to play sad. "That one... that one actually hurt. That stung." So Aaron turned to us and broke into an impassioned outburst about how "SCOTT THOMPSON IS AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING WHO CHANGES LIVES"

@MrAaronAbrams: We are all underestimating how important it was for people to see Kids In The Hall portray gay people without making fun of gay people.

@MrAaronAbrams: Sitting next to @ScottThompson_, an endless steam of lives he's effected, then they look at me & say "I like your shirt" #DragonConWithScott

The running jokes continued; someone who went to the first panel asked Aaron to do the Will impression again. "And Scott has to be Hannibal." "Okay," says Aaron, "but it's gotta be something totally banal."

He thinks for a minute. Then he leans into the mic and starts doing the heavy empath breathing again. Keeps doing it. Shivers, trembles. Husky whisper: "... ... ... We're out of chips."

Scott, bad German accent, suggestively: "I haf a Cheeto..."

I think this was also the day when, after all these years, I met sepiamagpie in person (after giving him the wrong phone number twice as I struggled with low blood sugar), then spent the afternoon with annejumps. After lunch with some of Anne's friends--I think at least some of them were in Inception fandom?--Anne and I went on a quick mission to Sock Dreams and BPAL, because while the vendors were in a new, theoretically better layout in America's Mart, the crowds were still really bad. I had wandered through All the Vendors last year (on the very last day, when there was plenty of room), so I was pretty confident that if I could hit BPAL and drop in on Beth, I'd be content. Here's the list of peach- and dragon-themed exclusives they had this year. Peach is my favorite BPAL note, in fact, so I can't wait to test out Peach IX, Peach X, and Ill-Mannered Dragon once my nose works again.

Meanwhile, Emily was kind of my social director this year; she likes organizing actual gatherings, so Sunday night was dinner at Trader Vic's. (Imperial beef with jasmine rice and a caipirinha.) Afterwards, we played Cards Against Humanity in the Hilton lounge, although at one point, yet another middle-aged dude started lurking over me:

@cleolinda: Like standing right over my shoulder, a little to the side, within arm's length. I forget what he initially said

@cleolinda: but then he grinned and said, "There's nothing you can't win with"--I forget what the card was, but it was something sexual.

@cleolinda: Three of us were just staring at him, and finally Emily just said, "Do you need something?" "Oh no, I'm just watching."

@cleolinda: Emily just s t a r e d at him. I turned my back; she tells me that three beats later, he walked off.

Again, disclaimer: you CAN talk to people at cons, I'm not saying you can't--I struck up conversations with all kinds of people, men included. And I was painfully shy as a child/teenager; it's something I had to learn how to do, I guess, so I listed a few of my conversational tactics in the Storify. (MOF 1:17:55.)

Later that night, @dragonsinparis sent pictures of her Penny Dreadful cosplay (the second picture here is AMAZING). Later-later, I was trying to sleep, but then I was awakened by joyful nerd howls on another floor--around 3 am, mind you--so I got something to drink and checked Twitter:

@dragonsinparis: @cleolinda IM GOING TO A RAVE IN MY FINAL FANTASY 8 PAJAMAS

@cleolinda: I'm... in bed drinking ginger ale? Maybe I can flip the light switch on and off a little

@cleolinda: doo doo do doo doo

@cleolinda: doo doo do doo doo

@cleolinda: \o\ ~*~ ~*~ /o/ \o\ ~*~ ~*~ /o/ \o\ ~*~ ~*~ /o/

@cleolinda: #thesystemisdown

MONDAY

@cleolinda: Have agreed to return to my eternal nemesis, the Marriott, because Monday is a different world at #dragoncon

@cleolinda: In some ways Monday is kind of my favorite #dragoncon day because I don't have to "do" anything but see friends, window shop, and eat.

@cleolinda: Oh my God, I am so sorry about the pocket tweeting, a fist fight broke out in our elevator

(MOF 1:13:10.)

@cleolinda: No punches were actually thrown, but two dudes threatened to throw down over the one dude who was GOING to get on with his luggage

@cleolinda: even though there was no room. "I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE, JACKASS!!" "COME OUT HERE AND BRING IT!!"

@cleolinda: Emily is literally holding her hand out between them, "WHOA WHOA WHOA ELEVATORS ARE FOR EVERYBODY"

@cleolinda: Another girl on the elevator hit "close doors" to keep them from ACTUALLY THROWING DOWN while Luggage Guy tried to fight his way on.

@cleolinda: Two dudes in their 50s-60s. I have never seen anything like it in my life and I am terrified we will see Luggage Guy again.

@sparkletone: @cleolinda At the end of their bloody fight, the two men will share a tender embrace before one pulls the both of them into the open shaft…

@cleolinda: "Monday at #dragoncon is chill," she said

Baby boomers, y'all.

So then I spent Monday with Emily and Ashley--@mitigatedtext, who rescued me from Artist Alley last year, and look what she brought me!

(x) - (jennyparks.com)

We went to lunch at Tin Lizzy's after another wander around the rapidly emptying Walk of Fame--Emily and I did swing by Scott and Aaron's tables again ("Oh! You two actually know each other!") and wished them a safe trip home, then stopped by Rob Paulsen's and Bill Farmer's tables, since Emily's a big voice acting fan (MOF 00:38:50), and I got to meet them (they were both very sweet). I can't remember what we did after lunch--I think Artist Alley was already closing down, so we ended up gossiping in the abandoned Pulse bar loft in the Marriott. Since we had such a late lunch, Emily and I ended up splitting a Mason jar of caramel smores in the Hilton lobby restaurant. I can't remember what drink Emily was having, but mine was an alcohol-free (since I was getting up ass-early in the morning to get to the train station) "Georgia Tea"--white peach syrup, lemon juice, cranberry juice, club soda. The cranberry and soda give it a bit of a bite; I might try making it at home sometime.

Speaking of the train, the one home ran like clockwork--I think we left one (1) minute after the scheduled departure time. I was still about to jump out of my skin to get off it, though. The thing about staying at Dragon Con through Monday is that you get a definite sense of closure as you watch the circus pack up to go home, as it were. If you leave Monday or Tuesday, you are pretty ready to go by that point, and I had been there since Thursday night.

@cleolinda: #dragoncon recovery: great mental/emotional energy. Throat, legs and feet are like "fuck you, why did you do this to us"

Someone on Tumblr asked for a summary of the whole experience, so let me paste that in:

Dragon Con is kind of unique in that it’s way more of a fan-centered cosplay/drinking/partying hotel convention spread over a tight cluster of 5 hotels with a costume parade each year (it’s been called Nerdi Gras, even). The official numbers last year were 65,000 attendees, but I’ve heard that it was actually higher, and this year there may have been as many as 10,000-15,000 more–we’re talking up around 90,000-100,000 people if both those facts are true.

There are lots of fan discussion panels, and the celebrity panels are way more about being there for the fans than, like, Marvel announcing the cast for the next MCU movie at SDCC. Like, Scott and Aaron’s Q&As were just them telling stories and fucking around for an hour while we sobbed with laughter. The big Comic Cons really are more official promotion and advertising-based; a lot of other fan-centered conventions are either smaller, or they are big, but they’re held at convention centers that don’t lend themselves to hotel bar hopping until 4 am. (That said, you can just as easily not drink. I had one drink with dinner a couple of times; you can hang out in lounges and bars and still have fun with a Coke or a mocktail, which I also did a few times.)

Dragon Con is the only con I’ve ever been to, actually–this year and last year. So that’s my only con experience. (People heard last year that it was my first Any Con Ever and were like “HOLY SHIT, YOU JUST DOVE RIGHT IN, HUH?”) And I really, really enjoyed both times, although of course there were some rough spots, but I just view those as fun stories in the making. I’m also willing to make light conversation with total strangers, and Atlanta is a super friendly town. There’s a lot of ambient camaraderie in general at Dragon Con, and if it sounds like the kind of atmosphere you’d be interested in, I would definitely recommend it.

And hey, this year I got through the con crud in two weeks rather than six. I'm calling it a win.

Con recovery update

2015-09-12T20:46:26Z

‏@cleolinda: I fought it off for several days, but I seem to have succumbed to a belated concrud: sinus infection. Woe.

@foresthouse: Maaaan, I thought we were creeping under the Con Crud wire this year.

@cleolinda: It's POSSIBLE this is due to all the home repair kicking up dust and aggravating my allergies.

Yeah... about that.

https://storify.com/cleolinda/the-window-guy

So I have finally been felled by crud; jury’s out as to whether it came from Dragon Con or not. While I am totally doofy on cold medicine, I’m still doing a lot better than I was this time last year (I had the flu. FOR SIX WEEKS), so I’m getting a writeup done based around a couple of Storify posts (tweets, pictures, etc.) I threw together when I came home:

General adventures (still working on)

Hannibal-related, i.e., Scott and Aaron, but also including pictures/reports that came in simultaneously from Mads’ appearances at Fan Expo in--was it Toronto? mysticowl ended up at his Q&A by chance and reported from it via Twitter.

Meanwhile, foresthouse and I will be recording a podcast tomorrow discussing our adventures; if my congestion clears up, I may be able to properly recount the Q&As.

Also, newly uploaded: first half of the 2nd Q&A; the stormtrooper invasion will be in the second half. A TON of great stuff is in this first half, though. "He knows what he's doing." "He LOVES it when vegetables fantasize about him."

Home again, home again

2015-09-10T01:03:36Z

I survived Dragon Con!

SHORT VERSION: I had A Very Long, Very Hannibal Weekend. The fan panel giveaway was wonderfully smooth; I went to all three of Scott Thompson and Aaron Abrams' Q&As and got pictures signed for Freddie; I met tons of people and hung out with friends and generally had a great time (and even the elevator fight is mostly just a funny story now). I seem to have dodged any kind of deathly con crud--in fact, other than my feet and lower thighs, which are all super mad at me, I feel pretty damn good--but I'm really tired and full of frozen custard at the moment. Let me hit you with some quick links:

http://cleolinda.tumblr.com/tagged/dragoncon
https://storify.com/cleolinda/dragon-con-2015-part-1
https://storify.com/cleolinda/dragon-con-2015-part-2

I'm collecting tweets and things as a foundation for some kind of writeup, so these are posts in progress; general adventures are in the first Storify and Hannibal-related things are in the second. (Alina found herself at a Mads Mikkelsen Q&A at the Fan Expo in Toronto, so I ended up folding in tweets and pictures from that convention as well.) I'm going to go ahead and let you look at all the miscellaneous posts, though, so you can tell me what you'd like to hear about most when I write it up a little more.

Evening updates

2015-08-31T22:43:54Z

I posted the 3x04 "Aperitivo" recap this morning. It was about 90% drafted before the finale aired, so it is largely written without any hindsight, but if you would like to skip some apparently foreshadowy conjecture at the beginning, jump here.

However, if you have seen "The Wrath of the Lamb," I think you'll want to read it from the beginning. To a similar end, I put together a Storify re: a number of book/movie/show parallels in the final after-credits scene. You can interpret that scene any way you want, I ain't gonna stop you (I actually kind of dig one interpretation for the penultimate scene and a contradictory one for the stinger), but I'm hearing that the broadcast was so dark for a lot of people that they missed a key moment.

As for how contradictory interpretations could work--think of the "multiverse" conversation in "Primavera." Everything that can happen, happens. It has to end well and it has to end badly. It has to end every way it can. Pick the one(s) you like, or all of them simultaneously, and enjoy.

MEANWHILE:

Here is the new Siouxsie song, "Love Crime" (not yet buyable/downloadable) that ran over the final scenes. It sounds like she and Brian Reitzell are going to do more songs, although Hannibal-related or not, I don't know.

Janice's final food styling post.

Hugh Dancy, going for the longterm troll.

The livetweet harvest was bountiful, but not entirely organized yet. By the way, I was fine, if somewhat stunned, with the finale and the group-hug tweeting until this:

(omg sob)

(And I still don't even know who he is!)

I'm currently outlining and screencapping "Contorno," but it definitely won't be done until I get back from Dragon Con (this weekend! Jesus take the wheel); here's my schedule (which doubles as "all the Hannibal stuff") for the convention. If you find me at the con, make sure you ask for a "666" eyeshadow sample (named for episode 3x12), because it looks fantastic.

Moderation note: I know people will want to discuss what I linked up there about "The Wrath of the Lamb," so the comments on this entry will be a spoiler zone, but please keep the "Aperitivo" post 3x13 spoiler-free.

Open discussion: Hannibal 3x13 "The Wrath of the Lamb"

2015-08-30T00:58:54Z

By request, one last discussion post for the road. The livetweeting will be storified as the night goes on, both east and west coasts; I'm working on the "Aperitivo" recap as well and hope to have that done before I leave for Dragon Con on Thursday.

P.S. Keep watching after the credits.

Dragon Con schedule

2015-08-25T14:50:33Z

ETA: I've added a Saturday night event.

ETA 2: Locations have been updated.

Now that things are getting more certain, here's what I think I'll be doing this year. This is adapted from the full Horror Track schedule, which you can find here. Short version: all the Hannibal events. The only location I know for sure is that my Friday evening panel is in the Peachtree Room in the Westin, same as last year; celebrity events tend to be moved to larger venues in the three big hotels. I'll be honest with you, that would suit me JUST FINE, because I'm back in an ankle brace right now, and I will probably be wearing one--maybe two--as a preventative measure. My room is in the Hilton, so the less distance I have to traipse and the fewer lollygaggers I have to slay, the better (WAAAAAALK!!!).

I think someone else has organized a specific Hannibal fan meetup, but I'm not sure when yet. Rather than schedule a meetup of our (Tattle Crime-associated) own, our plan is for me to show up early (hella early) to all of Scott Thompson and Aaron Abrams' events, since fans will go to those anyway, and so you'll be able to find me and/or hang out there. NOTE: Be advised that Saturday will be HELL to get to, because Scott and Aaron's "Brunch" panel (not literally a brunch) is the same morning as the parade. I will probably leave my room extra early that morning and just camp out at that location for a few hours. We just live here now.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4

1:00 PM — Hannibal: Aptitretare
Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson dissect Hannibal’s elegant take on the horror genre.
Panelists: Aaron Abrams, Scott Thompson. Moderator: John Ichabod Anderson.
Location: Westin Augusta Ballroom

8:30 PM — Hannibal Fannibals
Fans of Bryan Fuller’s visionary serial killer thriller unite!
Panelists: Michelle Belanger, Cleolinda Jones, Catherine M Scully, Karen E. Taylor, Wolven, and the voice of Freddie Lounds! Moderator: Henry Hanks.
Location: Peachtree 1-2 of the Westin Peachtree Plaza

It me! We will be giving away a couple of signed scripts this year as well (a surprise last year that I super enjoyed dropping on people) and, among other unofficial goodies, a full collection of This Is My Design samples (I think this is what we've decided on). Also, Freddie and Kristen and I have come up with a William Blake/episode title-themed eyeshadow to give out preview samples of, and I'm really excited about that. }:D

ETA: The Name of the Eyeshadow Is 666.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

11:30 AM — Hannibal: Brunch
Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson dissect Hannibal’s elegant take on the horror genre.
Panelists: Aaron Abrams, Scott Thompson. Moderator: Wolven.
Location: Hyatt Regency VI-VII

ADDED:

8:30 PM — 5 Truths and a Lie
Location: Hilton Grand Ballroom West

I can't guarantee that I'll be able to get into this one; the storyteller guests are Aaron Abrams, Scott Thompson, Amber Benson, Merrin Dungey, Jesse Rath and Naomi Grossman--so, a multi-fandom crowd.

SUNDAY

11:30 AM — Hannibal: Efterrätt
Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson dissect Hannibal’s elegant take on the horror genre
Panelists: Aaron Abrams, Scott Thompson. Moderator: John Ichabod Anderson.
Westin Peachtree Ballroom A-F

MONDAY

1:00 PM — The Horror Will Be Televised
Horror has exploded on television — we’ll discuss our favorite shows as well as existing properties that we think would make great shows.
Panelists: Henry Hanks, Catherine M Scully, Derek Tatum.
Location: Peachtree 1-2 of the Westin Peachtree Plaza

Not specifically Hannibal, but you can see how the subject might come up. I'm not leaving until Tuesay morning; if I'm not exhausted or virulently contagious by that point, I may be around to hang out at that point.

In summary, it looks like I'll be camping/hanging out in the morning, with the actor panels done by early/mid-afternoon, and my panel is on Friday evening, assuming I don't fall off a cliff in the next 9-10 days. My goal is to meet people (you can sign my notebook!) so please feel free to say hi if you see me. BY MY FLOWER CROWN YOU WILL KNOW ME.

Moar updates

2015-08-22T17:42:54Z

As a short update before I get back to working on "Aperitivo"--had my two-hour fasting glucose test yesterday.

@NelsonSmandela: @cleolinda Did you have to drink the gross orange kool-aid stuff?

@cleolinda: .@NelsonSmandela Ughhhhh it was disgusting. First two sips, okay; by 6-7 I wanted to hworf.

@cleolinda: Just discussed the other week's battery of blood tests; everything seems to be fine, except a significant lack of vitamin D?

@cleolinda: Like, even my cholesterol was normal/decent, I don't even know how.

I'm still shocked by this--even my cholesterol was fine. They didn't mention high blood pressure or an iron deficiency (I do already take an iron supplement); the numbers that were high were related to the PCOS, which they expected because that's why I was there, and that's what the new medications are for anyway.

@BizarreVictoria: @cleolinda Oh no! Don't end up like the twins in "Flowers in the Attic"!

@cleolinda: .@BizarreVictoria Well, they also want me to reduce my suspicious-sugar-on-cookies intake, so that's pretty good

@cleolinda: Seriously though, I might vomit. The ghost of an orange popsicle on an empty stomach

@NoPants_McGee: @cleolinda That's actually a good sign, I believe?

@cleolinda: .@NoPants_McGee Well GOOD because hworrrrrrf

@cleolinda: HOUR TWO. I DRANK THE GLUCOSE AND NOW I CAN SEE TIME

@cleolinda: I really want some pancakes and a nap. #takingthebloodomg

@cleolinda: Shit, I forgot. I can't have sugar for a while, no pancakes. Omelette it is.

And then I went and got one, and also hash browns. Fin.

Anyway, that's all for now--mammogram came back clean; first set of blood test results were either good or already being treated; should hear about glucose test early next week, but we're pretty sure I'm pre-diabetic, so I'm not really expecting any surprises there. Spiro is going well; will start Sprintec tomorrow and weekly vitamin D on Wednesday in order to schedule them around the convention. Here's hoping I am at Peak Cleo by then. Toss up the Cat Signal if you need me.

Hannibal 3x04: "Aperitivo" part 2

2015-08-18T18:25:54Z

PREVIOUSLY ON: EVERYBODY HATES CHILTON: "Mizumono" and the Infinite Sadness; Will wanted to elope with Hannibal and now there's just a parade of side-eye coming at him; Alana and Margot met cute, swoon; Mason Verger's okay with the Riz and Alana's okay with Old Testament vengeance and I'm okay with him falling over dead, see if you can get on that.

And now: Jack's turn. What I love about Jack's slice of "Mizumono" (I'm sorry) is that it's always kind of hilarious to watch Hannibal take those flying leaps into the pantry door over and over, but it's also terrifying somehow? I'm not entirely sure how Jack manages to hold the door (mostly) shut--with his foot?--considering that, as the Manatee said, "the six [crew] guys behind it propping it up had the shit kicked out of them."

(Given how heavily "Secondo" leaned on kaleidoscope, prism, and glass imagery, it's interesting that the three victim flashbacks shown have all involved broken glass: Chilton's bullet shattering the one-way mirror, Alana crashing through the window, Jack struggling with a shard in his neck.)

In the pantry, Jack leaves the shard in (a frequent lesson from this show: NEVER PULL A STABBING THING OUT) and tries to staunch the bleeding with his tie; we get a nice shot of arterial blood gushing out in slo-mo. As before, he fumbles with his phone, calling his wife, but can't speak. As we hear his heartbeat slow, he watches drops of blood rise from his fingertips, floating up through the pantry into a dark imagined sky. In "Mizumono," the falling raindrops become an apocalyptic rain of blood...

(alphalewolf.tumblr.com)

(mattmrudock.tumblr.com)

and now in "Aperitivo," the blood drops float into the sky like stars. I'm guessing this is meant to symbolize Jack's soul leaving his body as he loses consciousness--as he "dies."

Jack? Are you there? is the last thing, or perhaps the first thing, that he hears.

When he opens his eyes, he's lying in a hospital bed next to Bella, who is slowly dying of lung cancer in a bed of her own; they're holding hands. "Did I die?" he asks weakly.

"You did a lot of things," she says, even weaker. "Dying may have been among them. For once..." (there are long, breathless pauses breaking up most of her lines) "...I'm glad you're stubborn." "What's good for the goose," he says, chuckling. "You're not going into the ground with me, Jack," she says. "So stop trying."

"I was dead," he tells her, echoing what he will say to Pazzi in "Secondo": Io ero morto. "I knew I was dead. All that was left for me to do was die. I thought if I could hear your voice, we both wouldn't have to die alone."

(willinterrupted.tumblr.com)

"I'm not afraid of dying," says Bella, in a constant struggle to breathe. "I'm not afraid... of what it will be like... to be dead. I'm more... curious... of any what-ifs... than I am of any absolutes."

@cleolindajones: oh God "curious"

"You can do something that I can't," she says. "You can cut out... what's killing you."

@lorettaramos: BTS Bella Bella Bella

And Jack takes that to heart. Sometime after his recovery, at the Crawffice,

@cleolindajones: CHILTON

"Every useful hoop our mind can jump through begins with a certain degree of attention," says Chilton, and initially we see him blurred, faceted, through--the glass he's holding? "Focus is the most important thing any of us can do. You... you are losing focus, Jack."

"I have refocused," Jack says, and he'll drink to that. "Forced retirement at the FBI?" says Chilton, drawing from Book Jack's internal monologue: "You fall in love with the Bureau, but it does not fall in love with you." "Behavioral Sciences doesn't have the resources. Homeland Security is the priority now. Terrorists are more frightening than psychopaths." (Weird side note: Osama Bin Laden is on the Most Wanted list that appears in the movie Hannibal... released in February 2001.) Chilton, who so far has survived two of them: "Not. To me." "Really?" says Jack. "The first thing you did, after getting shot in the face, was copyright 'Hannibal the Cannibal.'" Okay, now, technically he didn't copyr-- "A catchphrase is a trademark and protected as a form of property," smarms Chilton (well, I'll be damned, Mail Order M.D. got something right). "You are alive because you did not pull that glass from your neck," he adds. "Will Graham is alive because Hannibal Lecter likes him that way."

@LeavittAlone: "Because Hannibal likes him that way" thiiiis isn't subtext it's text

Supertext, even.

"Maybe it's one of those friendships that ends after the disemboweling," says Jack, packing his files.

@NBCHannibal: Yes. We all have friendships like that. V relatable.

"I would argue, with these two, that's tantamount to flirtation" (well, this a show where murders are considered "flowers and chocolate before a first date") Chilton says, insisting that Will would lead Jack straight to Hannibal-- "Oh no he's not, not to me. I've let them both go. I've let it all go." "You dangle Will Graham and now you cut bait?" says Chilton, unwittingly (in every sense of the word) harkening back to the "You hook 'em, I'll land 'em" conversation in 2x08. "You're letting Hannibal have him hook, line and sinker."

"You'll excuse me, Dr. Chilton," says Jack, smiling. "I like to be home in the evenings when my wife wakes up."

She hasn't woken up in a while, though:

Jack Crawford, fifty-three, reads in a wing chair by a low lamp in the bedroom of his home. He faces two double beds, both raised on blocks to hospital height. One is his own; in the other lies his wife, Bella. Crawford can hear her breathing through her mouth. It has been two days since she last could stir or speak to him.

Except for the height of the beds and the minimal plumbing necessary for Bella's comfort, Crawford has managed to keep this from looking like a sickroom. There are flowers, but not too many.

She misses a breath. Crawford looks up from his book, over his halfglasses. He puts the book down. Bella breathes again, a flutter and then a full breath. He rises to put his hand on her, to take her blood pressure and her pulse. Over the months he has become expert with the blood pressure cuff.

Because he will not leave her at night, he has installed a bed for himself beside her. Because he reaches out to her in the dark, his bed is high, like hers.

@cleolindajones: oh no. is this the scene.

@idoherty451: Oh no.

@cleolindajones: nooooooooooo

(If you would like to skip through this for emotional reasons, you can jump to the funeral.)

You may recognize some of this from the excerpt I quoted in the "Takiawase" recap (also the fourth episode of its season, now that I think about it), but even I was amazed to see how closely the scene tracks with text remixed from two different scenes:

He put his ear to her chest. He heard a soft beat, a flutter, and then her heart stopped. There was nothing to hear, there was only a curious cool rushing. He didn't know if the sound was in her chest or only in his ears.

Except that on the show, Bella's heart doesn't stop. Instead, Jack takes her hand.

It was a square, clever hand, marked with a lifetime of gardening, marked by IV needles now.

When she came in from the garden, her hands smelled like thyme.

He wanted to get something for her, anything, but he did not want her to feel him let go of her hand.

Jack kisses her hand twice, then--

He pads to the closet and turns on the light. Two clipboards hang on the inside of the door. On one he notes Bella's pulse and blood pressure. His figures and those of the day nurse alternate in a column that stretches over many yellow pages, many days and nights. On the other clipboard, the dayshift nurse has signed off Bella's medication.

[x]

Here--you can see the moment he decides--he selects a bottle of morphine and takes it to her IV, giving her a quiet, implied overdose.

He gathered her to him on the bed, sitting against the headboard, held her to his chest while her brain died. His chin pushed back the scarf from the remnants of her hair. He did not cry. He had done all that.

He was waiting for her body to become a ceremonial object apart from him, separate from the person he had held upon the bed and separate from the life's companion he held now in his mind. So he could call them to come for her.

@aMoTPodcast: I'm so conflicted right now, halfway between "This scene is heartbreaking" and "This is shot so damn beautifully"

@manatee73: Gina Torres made us all cry.

After a cut to black and a break, Jack stares at Bella's empty bed, then turns to find her holding up a white dress. "God, I love you in white," he says.

"Jack?" He looks up; it's Alana who's holding the dress. "She'll look beautiful," he says, with some difficulty. If this isn't the dress Bella wore in her first appearance--the "ethical butcher" dinner in "Coquilles"--then it is very similar.

@LJmysticowl: #Hannibal, the show on which the dead are more alive than the living

"Bella's dead," he says. "That should change the view from these windows. It's not right if the view stays the same. It's not right."

And now, a montage of Bella being prepared for burial, eyeshadow and lip color and dress buttons, while Jack buttons his shirt and knots his tie and contemplates his wedding ring, dissolving to a flashback of their wedding.

@BryanFuller: THE RETURN OF THE LOVELY AND AMAZING GINA TORRES

@lorettaramos: How much do you love them?!?

@BryanFuller: LAURENCE FISHBURNE AND WIFE GINA TORRES ELOPE IN THE MIDDLE OF SHOOTING #HANNIBAL

x / x

NBCHannibal: HAHAH ALL OF OUR FEELINGS ARE BROKEN.

@manatee73: @BryanFuller best out takes ever.

As a side note, Bella appears in Red Dragon, then dies in Silence of the Lambs; in the Hannibal book, a heartbroken Jack gradually declines until he finally has one heart attack, then another. (Clarice, having already run off with Hannibal, only finds out much later that he's died, but sees him in her memory palace sometimes. I would find this more touching if she hadn't learned of his death "during one of Dr. Lecter’s regular visits to the FBI public Web site to admire his likeness among the Ten Most Wanted.") But because we're getting to the first book last, Jack's spirit is going to have to survive this.

Instead of a kiss at the wedding, the camera rotates around a forehead kiss at Bella's casket.

[x]

And then he sees.

@NBCHannibal: First of all, #Hannibal, how dare you.

@LJmysticowl: Tell me he didn't... The. Actual. Worst. I hope Bella haunts you and bitchslaps you forever in your dreams

@DireRavenstag: Fancy fleshmeat was just trying to express his grief! And, you know, how much of a total shit he is.

@cleolindajones: GET OUT

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED

@cleolindajones: IS IT THE JOHN DONNE THING

@HannibalSerieTV: La nota de Hannibal contiene también un fragmento de este poema de John Donne

Here's the thing about the "condolence" note in Silence of the Lambs: Hannibal and Jack do not have a personal relationship. They met after Will realized Hannibal was the Chesapeake Ripper and immediately got gutted, interacting only (as far as I recall) in a "professional" capacity as head profiler and arrested cannibal. In fact, I don't think they ever meet in person once the books begin--although Book Hannibal has an unnerving habit of seeming to know everything about everyone. Book Hannibal shouldn't know that Jack is married, much less that his wife is dying--so it is eerie, intrusive, and possibly suggestive of a godlike omniscience, when this happens:

Crawford made a small, successful effort not to look after [Clarice] as she left. From his wastebasket he lifted in the fork of his fingers a wad of heavy mauve notepaper. He spread it on his desk. It was about his wife and it said, in an engaging hand:

O wrangling schools, that search what fire
Shall burn this world, had none the wit
Unto this knowledge to aspire
That this her fever might be it?

I'm so sorry about Bella, Jack.

Hannibal Lecter

(x)

@cleolindajones: HE WROTE THE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET OUT

I'm honestly not sure which "condolence" is crueler--the near-stranger who likes to reach out and poke you in the pain, or the former friend and colleague who revived your suffering wife when she came to him for help dying with dignity (before you nearly died in his pantry). At least the show's context of the note offers a possibility that Hannibal feels genuine sympathy among his many trains of thought, I guess. It's still cruel, though, because here's what's going on in the poem: the stanza Hannibal sent basically says, rephrased, that no one realized that her (the beloved woman's) mortal illness might be the fire that would apocalyptically consume the world, leaving it (according to the previous stanza) an empty carcass. WHAT A NICE THING TO SEND TO A GRIEVING HUSBAND.

There are a few "happy" coincidences in the choice of poem, though--and mind you, this was in the book thirty years ago. The narrator also "conveys his deep admiration of her, both physical and spiritual"; Bryan Fuller tweeted back during "Takiawase" that "Hannibal is in love with his Lady Death." In the poem (says the commentary), "she can't waste away because she would have to contain corruption in her soul to fuel a fever. It is implied that she is ethical and virtuous." And the word "ethical" turns up Bella's very first scene, when she Bella refuses eat foie gras. I don't know how, but there are some lovely confluences here. And, coincidentally or not, Jack is flanked by candles (fire: Hannibal); he even looks around the church like Hannibal might somehow be there.

Murder wizardry: when you care to send the very worst.

The empty church is another example of dreamlike imagery, if only because I cannot believe Will would be the first person at Bella's funeral--not even any family? As with so many scenes on this show, this conversation happens because it needs to happen, in a dream world where nothing exists beyond your peripheral vision.

@idoherty451: Will for the love of God if you act creepy in this scene I will reach through the screen and smack you silly.

"I opened my eyes this morning and at that moment, before the weight of the day came for me, I didn't even think about Bella dying," says Jack. This is his idea of a greeting. "I still think she was hoping to die while I was out of the room... but... I was there when her heart stopped. And I held onto her until her brain died."

"I hope she's somewhere today, Jack. And that she's comfortable," says Will, doing the best he can. Again, most of this is adapted from book narrative--but "I hope she's somewhere and she's comfortable" changes tonally when you move it from Jack's private thoughts to Will's awkward mouth. Like, my gut reaction was, "SOMEWHERE? That's the best you can do?!" But recall, in "Primavera"--the future relative to now--Will is going to say, "What I believe is closer to science fiction than anything in the Bible." And "Abigail" will reply, "We all know it, but nobody ever says that G-dash-D won't do a G-dash-D-damned thing to answer anybody's prayers." This may, in fact, be the best Will can do.

"I hope she can see it in my heart," says Jack. But then he blurts out, "She had to die on me. I knew it was coming. But it still smarts." And then, his parting words, as he hands a surprised Will the letter: "I know what's coming for you, Will. You don't have to die on me, too." That just--amazes me, that Jack can even think of Broken Mongoose at probably the lowest moment of his life. And now I'm sitting here doing final revisions on this recap and thinking about "The Wrath of the Lamb" two days ago and I want to lie down on the floor again.

Mason Verger: Unfortunately, not what I want to hear about right now. Honestly, you could just say "Mason Verger: Unfortunately" and be covered for most situations.

@BryanFuller: PLEASE GIVE A WARM #FannibalFamily WELCOME TO GLENN FLESHLER AS MASON’S MAJOR DOMO CORDELL

"Fleshler" sounds like an actual position one might hold in Mason's household.

@manatee73: ALL HAIL THE YELLOW KING!!!!

@nickantosca: "congrats, Glenn, you've found the one show that's more disturbing than True Detective" #Hannibal #Cordell!

@helenshang: Even now, it's impossible to see the name "Cordell" and not say it out loud a couple times a la Gary Oldman.

@cleolindajones: CORDELLLLLLLLL

@manatee73: Glenn is a lovely guy. Also, absolutely terrifying on a dime.

If you only see one scene of Glenn Fleshler's from True Detective, make it the one where his character starts imitating a Cary Grant movie on the TV for no particular reason; the sheer random absurdity of it is unnerving. Fair warning: the clip is disturbing as all hell for multiple reasons.

As for Cordell, here's his book and movie background. In the book, "the only matter holy to him, money" is his driving interest, but he's also no longer allowed to have "close contact with children." On the show, he only has one stated motivation: "Pain is a good thing," he tells a yelping Mason ("OW! OW! I'M SAYING OW!") during a facial massage.

"This is why you can never legally work in the health industry, Cordell," exposits Mason. "They were going to throw you away. You would have been wasted." "Scar tissue is an awesome demonstration of self-preservation," muses Cordell in his nurse whites. "The flesh's fight to exist, down to the most basic cell, is a wonder." Mason has other things on his mind, though--a Christmastime epiphany from the book: "At Communions around the earth, the devout believe that through the miracle of transubstantiation, they eat the flesh and blood of Christ." Mason slowly rises as his motorized wheelchair sits him up. "It is an impressive ceremony. I need to prepare an even more impressive ceremony with no transubstantiation necessary. Cordell" (who is massaging his leg now), "I have known you to be absolutely reliable and capable of almost anything. Is that true?" "It is not untrue," Cordell says placidly. Mason continues, "I pay you a large salary to be responsible for my care and feeding." "And all that that entails," says Cordell--almost as if quoting a contract. "And all that that entails," repeats Mason. "I would like you to begin arrangements for Dr. Hannibal Lecter to be eaten alive."

Cordell hesitates.

I kind of think it's because he doesn't want to betray how totally down for that he is.

"Do you have a preference for how you would like him prepared?" I told you he was gonna be the fleshler.

"Oh, Cordell... If I had lips, I would smile."

And now, a flashback to how Mason got his brand-new turtle nose: a Dead Ringers homage.

Not the first Dead Ringers homage, mind you, but I haven't recapped the Red Surgeons' first appearance: Margot's forced hysterectomy in "Ko No Mono" (another thing I don't really want to talk about right now). The red surgical smocks are just so unnerving to me--how much blood are you guys planning to be covered in, anyway? In that movie, the Jeremy Irons characters (twin brothers; he's amazing) are disturbed gynecologists, so this is probably the least upsetting comparison picture I can offer you:

(criterioncollection.blogspot.com)

This is a David "Master of Body Horror, Oh God What Did I Just See, UNCLEAN" Cronenberg movie that features the phrase "Gynecological Tools for Operating on Mutant Women," so it was really ominous when Margot woke up surrounded by Red Surgeons. However, look past that for a moment--here's selected points from from Horror DVDs' review:

The film begins with a montage of medieval paintings of birth and torture.... Beside the words Dead Ringers is a shot of two twins facing different directions yet connected in the same womb. Two twins who share the same mind, both united and paradoxically completely different.... The movie starts off at their apex of success, and takes the viewer on a vicious downward spiral.... After all the heartbreak, Bev begins to detest the way Elliot controls and dominates his existence. He sets off for independence, but Elliot won’t allow it. The two are a unit, and without the ying there is no yang. The further the two split, the weaker they become, until they tragically end up how they started: two souls sleeping together as one.

It's a kind of folie à deux, really. Throw in the poster where faces merge together, and I think you see where I'm going with this: thematically, it's very Will and Hannibal.

But back to Mason's facial reconstruction surgery, which is... sort of jauntily groovy, what?

@idoherty451: Aaaaaand the soundtrack is insanely 60s/70s psychedelia omg.

@aMoTPodcast: Mason's musical motifs are... fitting.

(In the book, Mason plays "Moroccan music," "soft light and music. North African music, an oud and drums.")

@BryanFuller: WHAT’S LEFT AFTER ONE EATS ONE’S NOSE [NO]

@cleolindajones: WHAT NO

@cleolindajones: WARN ME ABOUT THIS SHIT!

Was I supposed to already know I had a nasal cavity squick?

(I suppose a gory surgery shot is relatively mundane in Hannibal Land, but my God, this one was up there on my personal Things This Show Did That I Absolutely Could Not Handle list. And I'm the one who wanted a My Little Stagenstein.)

Mason examines his new face: "Good as new."

Back in the relative present, Alana has returned as Mason's profiler in residence. "All this time he eludes us... he got away clean!" he fusses. "It's as though Hannibal Lecter has dropped off the earth."

"Hannibal obviously has good papers and money," Alana tells him. "Europe is where a man of his tastes would settle." This is where Alana becomes, as Fio put it, "a dark reflection of Clarice," who spends a good bit of the Hannibal book researching Hannibal's past-and-likely-present spending habits in hopes of locating him--a busywork job she's been demoted to after a drug bust gone bad.

Some anonymous office neighbor printed a sign in Gothic letters that read HANNIBAL’S HOUSE and pinned it on her curtained entrance. Fearful of losing the room, Starling moved the sign inside.

And this is ten years after Hannibal's escape, no less. So Clarice is still working for the FBI, not Mason, who is pretending to cooperate with law enforcement at that point, and she's having this conversation with Noted Jackass Paul Krendler from the Justice Department in an official capacity, going through dusty archives and internet searches and piles of receipts:

"We know Dr. Lecter has very good ID," she began. "He must have at least one extra solid identity, maybe more. He’s careful that way. He won’t make a dumb mistake. [...] He’s a man of very cultivated tastes, some of them exotic tastes, in food, in wine, music. If he comes here, he’ll want those things. He’ll have to get them. He won’t deny himself. [...] You can see here: In the month that Dr. Lecter served the flautist Benjamin Raspail’s sweetbreads to other members of the Baltimore Philharmonic Orchestra board, he bought two cases of Château Pétrus bordeaux at thirty-six hundred dollars a case. He bought five cases of Bâtard-Montrachet at eleven hundred dollars a case, and a variety of lesser wines.

"He ordered the same wine from room service in St. Louis after he escaped, and he ordered it from Vera dal 1926 in Florence. This stuff is pretty rarefied. We’re checking importers and dealers for case sales."

So Clarice is having to slowly work her way into Hannibal's head, having never had a relationship "in private life" with him--whereas Alana can go to Hannibal's Actual House and get dishes out of the china cabinet ("Yeah, he used these for this great dinner party he had. We probably ate six, maybe seven people"). And Alana's making herself valuable by offering this ready-made insight as a way to insinuate herself into the efforts to capture Hannibal, rather than Mason getting information through back channels.

"Well, his tastes are very specific," Mason murmurs, once again looking Alana up and down. "And that's how you'll find him," Alana says pointedly. "The wine, the truffles..."

(sungl0ry.tumblr.com)

Little bit on the nose there, guys.

(I super enjoy the whole Murder Wives AU idea, though.)

"Taste in all things will be a constant between Dr. Lecter's lives. His name will change, but his taste will not," she concludes. And then Mason just has to: "Of course you know what he would favor. Tell me, Dr. Bloom, does he favor you?"

@cleolindajones: hit him with the cane

Ughhhhh, he's like an obscene phone call in human form. This part of the conversation is actually adapted from a different one with Jack Crawford: after Hannibal sends Clarice a letter regarding her disgrace, Jack asks why Hannibal would write to her. You will see 1) several elements that have appeared in previous episodes as well as 2) strong differences between Clarice's and Alana's relationships with their respective Hannibals:

"He thought what happened to me would … destroy, would disillusion me about the Bureau, and he enjoys seeing the destruction of faith, it's his favorite thing. It's like the church collapses he used to collect. The pile of rubble in Italy when the church collapsed on all the grandmothers at that special Mass and somebody stuck a Christmas tree in the top of the pile, he loved that. I amuse him, he toys with me. When I was interviewing him he liked to point out holes in my education, he thinks I’m pretty naive."

Crawford spoke from his own age and isolation when he said, "Have you ever thought that he might like you, Starling?"

"I think I amuse him. Things either amuse him or they don’t. If they don’t …" [....] "On really short acquaintance he told me some things about myself that were true. I think it’s easy to mistake understanding for empathy--we want empathy so badly. Maybe learning to make that distinction is part of growing up. It's hard and ugly to know somebody can understand you without even liking you. When you see understanding just used as a predator’s tool, that’s the worst. I... I have no idea how Dr. Lecter feels about me."

"I think I amused him," says Alana. "Things either amuse him or they don't. And if they don't... Well, you didn't." No, you insulted his artwork and stabbed the therapy chair. Mason asks, "Do you feel he ever... genuinely cared for you?" "I have no idea how Dr. Lecter genuinely feels about me," she says. We have an idea, though. In the Art and Making of Hannibal book: "'You can always discuss whether Hannibal takes advantage of the situation or if it just happens,' Mads Mikkelsen says. 'It's very hard to know when it comes to Hannibal... but again, there's an honesty. He likes her, he wants her, he desires her for the situation. And tomorrow he might not. But it's always honest.'" Caroline Dhavernas says, "I think he might have [had real feelings]. I think he might have been there with her when they were together. It’s just that he will always look after his own interests. He’s a narcissist. He doesn’t really care about anyone else." I can't source the video (convention?) interview with one or both of the two actors that I'm pretty sure I remember seeing, but the impression I got was that Hannibal had an honest, genuine liking for Alana, as evidenced in their flirtatious season one interactions and how highly he spoke of her to Jack, certainly. Those feelings are real, but limited--a liking you have to take at face value in the moment (respect, attraction, affection, comfort), rather than the way Hannibal is willing to move heaven and earth for Will, then burn them both down.

Oh, also: "Last time we spoke, he promised he'd kill me," Alana says flatly. This promise will come up over and over again as the season goes on, and--seriously? SERIOUSLY? You had her thrown out a window and left her for dead, don't you think you're even now?

"Huh. So tell me, how does it feel to use understanding as a predator's tool?" asks Mason (I am genuinely surprised that he doesn't make a big creepy deal out of the word "tool"). "I'm using it as I've always used it," says Alana, and it's interesting how it's been flipped, the female character using the tool rather than having it used upon her: "A psychiatric tool."

Mason cranks himself closer (WHIRRRRRR): "Why not take this to Jack Crawford?" "Jack's done at the FBI, a footnote in his own Evil Minds Museum," Alana says dismissively. And Mason seems to perceive that Alana may have something deeper going on: "I'm curious, Dr. Bloom" (WHIRRRRRR) "how I have found you in my pocket. Do tell. I'm all ears, they've just been... redistributed."

"You're preparing the theatre of Hannibal's death," says Alana. "I'm just doing my part to get him to the stage."

@cleolindajones: like... I can't even blame her, you know?

But, again, this isn't her true agenda; I had a feeling the whole time it wouldn't be, because she's been slotted into (some of) Clarice's role, and Clarice's whole thing in the book was that she's like, dammit, I know you're a cannibal serial killer, but it is my sworn duty to bring your ass in, it's not justice to let you be tortured to death. So that's a bit of a clue, perhaps, as to what may really be going on here.

I also want to point out here that, in the book, Mason continues the tradition of "curiosity": he tells Clarice in passing that he had locked up two shelter dogs together without food, because "I was curious about what would eventually happen."

Speaking of dogs:

@lorettaramos: WINSTON!!! APPLESAUCE!!!

I'm not sure why Jack's come to the Nobark Home for Dogs Who Don't Know Where Daddy Went, but Alana meets him at the door. "Where's Will?" he asks. "He's already gone, Jack," she says, sounding more like her old self. "Will knows what he has to do. Do you?"

(x)

@cleolindajones: is he going to sail to Italy

@idoherty451: wait did will SAIL HIMSELF to Europe? omg

@aMoTPodcast: So was that scene Will just straight sailing to Europe? Was that supposed to be our takeaway?

Yes.

@BryanFuller: COME SAIL AWAY WITH ME, LAD

So Will returns to his element, where he feels safe.

@NBCHannibal: NEXT SEASON ON THE O.C.

@Humanitarian66: Did anyone notice what the name of Will's boat was?

@behnnie: @Humanitarian66 Studying every gif I can find & can't see a name. The only safe assumptions are "Hannigram" and "Snailboat"...

@TheDoL3: @NBCHannibal COME SNAIL AWAY. COME SNAIL AWAY COME SNAIL AWAY WITH MEEEE. #Snailedit.

@DeLaurentiisCo: The boat is named Nola.

As seen on @thetuxedos' episode art (she was told the name, I'm guessing):

@DeLaurentiisCo: Just curious. Did you all catch this?

(x)

@DeLaurentiisCo: The original painting is Blake's The Ancient of Days. When we meet The Red Dragon, it will make more sense. :)

As it turns out, a William Blake painting is hanging in Mason's bedroom (pictured, right). The figure in the original painting (left), to which Will's boat has been added (episode art, middle), is Urizen: "In the complex mythology of William Blake, Urizen is the embodiment of conventional reason and law. He is usually depicted as a bearded old man; he sometimes bears architect's tools, to create and constrain the universe; or nets, with which he ensnares people in webs of law and conventional society. Originally, Urizen represented one half of a two-part system, with him representing reason and Los, his opposition, representing imagination." And I would argue that those are the two aspects Will is torn between--what Jack and Hannibal each represent. What it means in the episode art that the boat is sailing through the compass, not held back by the "webs" of law or society--well, Jack probably needs to start planning his Italian vacation pronto.

(Speaking of Hannibal himself, the painting was also used on the cover of... a Stephen Hawking book.)

BACK TO THE GOOD SHIP NOLA: New Orleans, Louisiana (NOLA) was where Will used to work Homicide. But as forestardenne points out (links added), "Nola is a genus name for moths (HA!), and a town in Italy Hannibal (the famous conqueror one) tried to conquer three times, unsuccessfully. Interpret that how you will."

(Laurence Fishburne's Post Mortem interview with Scott Thompson: "What do you think Will’s motive is for going after Hannibal?" "Gotta kill him." "You think that’s it?!" "Noooo, gotta get together with him and go off into the sunset.")

("Dumbass.")

So now, if you would like, double back and rewatch (or reread) "Primavera," where Will arrives in Palermo with "I wanted to run away with him" as the subtext of "I forgive you" in the catacombs, and keep going through "Secondo," where Jack lights a candle for Bella, "not here for Il Mostro, here for Will Graham," with Alana's challenge to do "what you have to do" to get him back.

@NBCHannibal: OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS.

(ter0rr.tumblr.com)

(@dogsdoingthings)

Meanwhile, there was not as much official episode livetweeting because everyone was at the Saturn Awards; I have the full livetweeting for that in the Storify as well.

@lorettaramos: Team #Hannibal Table 1! @SaturnAwards1 #FannibalFamily

@lorettaramos: #HannibalOnSaturn with @BryanFuller and @RCArmitage

@angelinaburnett: I wish you guys could hear how excited @helenshang gets for each of these categories. She cares y'all. Deeply.

@helenshang: Someone mentioned "avant garde serial killers". I think that's us.

@angelinaburnett: LAWRENCE WINS! @MrAaronAbrams accepts!

@helenshang: LAWERENCE FISHBOURNE WON! AARON ABRAMS ACCEPTING AWARD WITH PANACHE!

@angelinaburnett: .@MrAaronAbrams just made a cancellation joke and it played. I promise.

@helenshang: "AND THE AWARD FOR BEST NETWORK TV SERIES GOES TO THE HAPPIEST TABLE, HANNIBAL!"

@angelinaburnett: WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!! (Literally!)

@nickantosca: "OH THE IRONY" @BryanFuller as #Hannibal wins Best Network Show #saturnawards

@angelinaburnett: Fancy Dancy just lost to the Walking Dead dude. I'd be ok with this if Rick had given me wine and WAIT HES BRITISH!?

@angelinaburnett: WAIT IT WAS A TIE FUCK YES!! #dreamiest

@helenshang: HUGH DANCY WON BEST ACTOR! IM SO SORRY FOR CRAPPY PIC!

@angelinaburnett: PS? I hooped so loud when Hugh won the lady in front of me Gave me a veiled dirty look. WHATEVER LADY YOU WISH YOU WERE HAVING THIS MUCH FUN

@DeLaurentiisCo: You waited patiently. @SaturnAwards1 Winner (and #Fannibal) @RCArmitage in a flower crown at last!

@DeLaurentiisCo: And, then there's this. @RCArmitage is a gem!

x / x

Next time!

@Devilligan: Just caught up with @nickantosca's brilliant ep. of Hannibal. I'm up next with a tale of searing ultra violence and Italian antiquity!

@cleolindajones: well, it was nice knowing Pazzi I guess

@idoherty451: Holy--ANOTHER Jack smackdown? Wow.

AND IT'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED.

Hannibal 3x04: "Aperitivo"

2015-08-18T16:32:57Z

So this was the week that the hammer dropped.

NBC Has Canceled "Hannibal"

I did not take it well.

@cleolinda: Are you fucking kidding me

@cleolinda: I love how I actually looked up from the Primavera recap draft to see this. I'm shocked, and I'm shocked that I'm shocked.

@cleolinda: I was expecting possibly a gentle "we're not renewing" after the season ended.

I mean, no, it was not technically "canceling," it's a long story, but using that as shorthand:

‏@cleolinda: THEY CANCELED IT BEFORE THEY EVEN AIRED THE RED DRAGON EPISODES THOUGH

‏@cleolinda: I mean, I know they WILL air them, but what the hell kind of no-confidence vote is this?

@cleolinda: I love how everyone's messaging me like "are you okay"

@cleolinda: I mean, fuck everybody, I'm still recapping. Even if Amazon/Hulu/Netflix don't pick #Hannibal up for S4, we'll send it out with a bang.

@mattzollerseitz: Bryan Fuller's explanation of series vs season finales makes me think being a showrunner means being at peace with possible sudden death.

@emilynussbaum: Not that I'm so insane I think a TNY rave can save an NBC show, but it woulda been nice to have *one day* in print before the axe fell.

@voxdotcom: 23 moments from last night's episode that show why it's time to #SaveHannibal.

‏@tvoti: *Five years from now* "Hey, Todd, I finally watched Hannibal. You were right! I loved it! Why did they only make--" *strangling noises*

@LeavittAlone: executives are not for eating ....riiiight?

@cleolinda: Executives are a sometimes food.

And then Janice came up with a roast peacock recipe for us.

@cleolinda: We are definitely not cooking anyone at NBC. Definitely not.

@FeedingHannibal: To honor them, not cook them. NBC gave us a home and creative freedom for 3 yrs and deserve all our good wishes.

@cleolinda: Bless their hearts.

(To be fair: my understanding this whole time is that the creative side, particularly Jennifer Salke and Standards & Practices, were incredibly supportive. It's just that... NBC was apparently a house divided on the subject of this show, the financially-minded half was pulling against it, and finally, that's the side that won. My fire bees are reserved for them.)

As of this writing, Hugh Dancy's joined a new show on Hulu, and Mads Mikkelsen landed an unknown part in a Star Wars (!) movie and possibly a Marvel villain, but everyone is holding out hope to the last. Either way, Bryan Fuller already has Big Ideas for a potential fourth season--a reporter who visited the set a few months ago mentioned something about "Argentina." Which raised my eyebrows sky-high because that's where Hannibal and Clarice run away at the end of the third book.

@mattzollerseitz: Bryan Fuller on Hannibal’s ‘Cancellation’ and his vision for season 4.

("so terrifying creatively")

Additionally, TVLine: "Fuller declined to provide too many specifics about the direction of a possible fourth season, except to say, 'It would have explored the Hannibal-Will Graham relationship in a much deeper fashion than the series ever has before.'"

Reader, you will forgive me for blurting out, "What, balls deep?"

@BryanFuller: I'M THINKING OF THE 10 EPISODES WE HAVE LEFT AND WHAT'S YET TO BE SEEN. #HANNIGRAM IS A THING AND IT'S COMING FOR THE #FANNIBALS!

So to speak.

(I drafted all of this before "The Wrath of the Lamb" aired. GOOD GOD.)

(@DrJLecter - @Polanetta)

And in the middle of this, the show was nominated for a number of Saturn Awards, including, I am assuming, Best Irony; the ceremony was held the night "Aperitivo" aired.

@DeLaurentiisCo: Guess who made it to Saturn?! #HannibalOnSaturn @lorettaramos @RCArmitage @neoprod @SteveLightfoot5

@nickantosca: Ok still at #SaturnAwards but WEST COAST turn on #Hannibal in 12 min for "Aperitivo" written by me and @BryanFuller & @SteveLightfoot5 🔪🔪🔪💉💀

On to the episode itself:

These first four installments have had an unusually--even for this show--dreamlike, atemporal quality; "Secondo" looks like a damp autumn in Lithuania, but Hannibal is cooking a "spring lamb." The next three are super plotty, so in a way, these first four are a time loop unto themselves. The title, "Aperitivo," is the Italian equivalent of the very first episode, "Apéritif." But even though this episode is the fourth "course," I think "before-dinner drink" is the title is for a reason: you could easily watch/rewatch this as the first installment of the season. It picks up, after all, with the fates of everyone left for dead chez Lecter at the end of "Mizumono." I do think "Antipasto" was the right choice for 3x01 to establish style and tone, but given that its story happens concurrently with this one--both "Antipasto" and "Aperitivo" lead directly into "Primavera"--it could have gone either way. And placing this episode fourth means that we experience Will's denial that Abigail is dead in "Primavera," and we don't experience Jack's grief for Bella in "Secondo" because he's set that aside to do what he feels he owes the bearer of the imagination he "broke."

As I mentioned last time, this season seems to have taken on the metaphor of the kaleidoscope: watch the story shift and reform to images that are familiar, yet infinitely different. The passage of time itself has often become the story: "Twenty years ago I met Il Mostro," "We have been each other's prisoner for a very long time," "You cannot preserve entropy. It gradually descends into disorder," Eight Months Later, eight months back. And I love timeline/flashback wonkery. It's not that I actually want stories to be confusing--I just love looking at why various elements would be set in a certain proximity. Rearranging chronology creates new contexts; juxtaposed scenes inform each other. I mean, take "Antipasto"--the show could have shown us all the Gideon-forced-to-eat-himself scenes back in "Futamono," not just the one. Instead, those have been saved for the juxtaposition of "if only that company was Will Graham" with Hannibal apparently musing over that conversation on the train to Palermo, suggesting why he's willing to blow his cover after all this time. Showing how traumatized Bedelia was by killing her patient suggests why she's so freaked out that another man will die in front of her; you'll also remember the throat-fisting every time the Patient is mentioned in previous episodes. The images form and reform.

@cleolindajones: PREVIOUSLY ON #HANNIBAL: EVERYTHING WAS TERRIBLE

Fuck a duck, we're back to "didn't recap 2x06-2x13" again.

Where we left everyone last season

Let's get this peril started:

@BryanFuller: EACH ACT OF TONIGHT’S #HANNIBAL FOCUSES ON LECTER'S SURVIVORS - BEGINNING WITH @RaulEEsparza’s RETURN AS DR. CHILTON

@lorettaramos: SO lovely to have @RaulEEsparza back in the #FannibalFamily!

Bryan Fuller: "We will see very clearly how he managed to survive those things, so we don’t just sort of magically have him show up and everything is fine. We see exactly what happened from a bullet’s point of view and how he survived."

He's not kidding, by the way:

(x)

I love that shot of the bullet flying past Alana's hair. What I have not included is the closeup of the bullet going through Chilton's cheek and EXPLODING THE BACK OF HIS SKULL IN A SHOWER OF GORE. We also see the path it takes through his head, missing everything important and exiting through his lower skull, as many viewers noticed the first time around, which was thus a survivable wound. (Here's what the scene looked like in "Yakimono.")

"Each of us," Chilton voiceovers right as the bullet pierces his cheek, "whose life intersected Hannibal Lecter lost something. A limb here, a lung there. A few feet of intestines." (*GORE SHOWER*) "The dead..." (Chilton pauses to let someone choke; he's clearly put out that his pompous little prepared speech has been interrupted) "...the dead at least have the luxury of being done with what they lost. But you and I, we still itch."

And who is Chilton addressing?

@BryanFuller: PLEASE GIVE JOE ANDERSON A WARM #FannibalFamily WELCOME TO #HANNIBAL AS OUR NEW MASON VERGER

@lorettaramos: BTS Joe Anderson slate [eyes, a little mask]

@lorettaramos: Things always taste better through a fancy straw. [side view of mask]

I'm going to have to footnote Mason Verger's background for both length and content; suffice it to say that he's semi-faceless, semi-paralyzed, and entirely awful.

Mason Verger background

Mason's physical appearance and pet eel

Movie Mason: Gary Oldman

Show Mason #1: Michael Pitt

Show Mason #2: Joe Anderson

Muffled behind his mask: "That little itch must be telling you something." "Would you like to discuss what that little itch is telling you?" Please let's not discuss either of these guys itching, do you mind? Then Mason deflates Chilton's pomposity: "Are you wearing makeup? How long does it take you to put your face on in the morning?"

"Now that I've got the routine down, no time at all," Chilton says coolly.

"Tell you what: you show me yours, and I'll show you mine."

@aMoTPodcast: Things I never needed to hear: Mason Verger saying "you show me yours, I'll show you mine"

@Tattle_Crime: The strangest striptease ever.... @drfredchilton and @masonrverger

(*hworf*)

So, with Mason watching intently, Chilton shows us exactly how badly Miriam's gunshot messed up his face, first taking out a contact to reveal a milky eye.

@cleolindajones: NO NOT THE EYE SQUICK

@cleolindajones: I love how half my mentions are like "OH NO YOUR EYE SQUICK." Bless.

Mason removes the neckplate of his mask; Chilton wipes off the makeup hiding the bullet hole scar; Mason takes off his faceplate, revealing a reconstructed turtle face (trust me, this is SO MUCH easier to look at than the Gary Oldman version); Chilton takes out a dental plate... and his cheek slides halfway down his face.

@BryanFuller: CHILTON’S GOT NO STRINGS EXCEPT ON HIS FACE TO HELP VFX OF HIS FACIAL DROOP @RaulEEsparza

@lorettaramos: #Hannibal BTS How to get that desired droopy look.

@lorettaramos: BTS director Marc Jobst with Joe Anderson [full makeup]

"There," says Mason. "Now we can talk face-to-face."

Note: These two characters never meet in the book. In fact, since Hannibal takes place after the escape in Silence of the Lambs, Chilton is, in fact, missing and presumed eaten. Speaking of narrative doom, we see now that Chilton is standing on top of the eel tank set into the floor (and, for comparison, a wider shot of a similar floor tank in "Tome-wan"):

"I understand you have offered quite a substantial reward for any kind of relevant information on Hannibal Lecter, not just the usual apprehension and conviction," says Chilton, the drooping half of his face in (a symbolic?) darkness, as he introduces the primary Hannibal book/movie plot. "Yes, a million dollars. One million. We advertised worldwide. High price for a fancy pig," says Mason. (A nice irony: you'll remember that Will said back in the day that the Chesapeake Ripper kills in "sounders" and thinks of other mere mortals as "pigs.") "Hannibal would be a prize pig if I had him in my hospital," observes Chilton, "but you do not intend to see him institutionalized, do you?" Mason insists that he won't admit to any nefarious plans that would force Chilton to "to break the bonds of doctor-patient confidentiality," but Chilton has his number: "You do not want a therapist. You want a profiler."

Mason tries to deflect: "I want to understand Hannibal Lecter to better understand myself." "You survived," says Chilton. "That is chief amongst what you need to understand." "Survived him?" retorts Mason. "That implies fortune or skill on my part that somehow allowed me to live. This is exactly how he intended me to live."

(There's a great little scene in the movie where Mason has a captive but utterly nonchalant Hannibal wheeled in, and says, "I guess now you wish you would've fed the rest of me to the dogs." Almost pensively, Hannibal replies, "No, Mason... I much prefer you the way you are.")

"I know somewhere Dr. Lecter is going to and fro in the earth and walking up and down in it," bitters Mason, "and very likely having a good, fun time." And as Todd VanDerWerff points out, "Mason, who's recently rededicated himself to Christianity (or so he says; after all, he's still trying to find and kill Hannibal), uses this turn of phrase to describe Hannibal's current whereabouts. It's all too appropriate. This is what Satan tells God he's been up to in the biblical book of Job."

(saaaataaaan)

"How do you relieve the agony of waiting for Dr. Lecter's capture?" asks Chilton. "What do you fantasize about?" (CHILTON NO) "I wonder what would happen if Hannibal Lecter was in your hands." Mason, however, is on his guard: "I worry we're heading into territory not secured by your fee. I think I need to look elsewhere for somebody to tend to my emotional well-being. Good-bye, Dr. Chilton."

And Raúl Esparza exits with a marvelously wry "Happy hunting."

After the opening credits, here we fucking go again:

You were supposed to leave.

We couldn't leave without you.

Here we are back in the hellish pocket dimension that is "Mizumono"! Aaaand here's Hannibal gutting Will from the POV of the wound. No, I'm not kidding.

@cleolindajones: ARE WE SERIOUSLY DOING THIS

@idoherty451: WHY DO WE KEEP DOING THIS FROM EVERY ANGLE POSSIBLE. JEEZ.

@aMoTPodcast: Man, how many times are they gonna make us watch the Hugstab of Cannibal Betrayal?

It's a longer hugstab than usual, even, as if this is what remains in Will's memory: no words; just hug.

@manatee73: @aMoTPodcast @cleolindajones A lot.

@cleolindajones: @manatee73 @aMoTPodcast I feel very cut up over it :(

@lorettaramos: Something to consider during #hannibalrewatch: 20 great TV eps too painful to watch twice

YES, WE ARE ALL AGREED ON THIS. WHY HAVE WE WATCHED THIS SCENE THREE TIMES NOW.

@lorettaramos: Must we relive the horror again? Yes, yes, we must. With reliving comes understanding.

We must, because the gutting in "Mizumono" has become, I think, the fulcrum of the show. In terms of symmetry, the exact middle of season two is 2x07, "Yakimono," when Will stops openly opposing Hannibal and tries to "seduce" him, but ends up accidentally seducing himself to the dark side, you might say. And then season two ends with this wound that rips open the show's collective psyche--Hannibal has done horrible things to Will over the course of those two seasons, obviously, but nothing quite this apocalyptic, with literal oceans of blood and half the cast left for dead. The entire series either leads up to that moment or results from it; considering that the gutting itself is Will and Hannibal's original meeting in Red Dragon, maybe it's particularly appropriate that everything comes to hinge on this.

(The way the "Red Dinner," as it's been called, functions reminds me a little of David Lynch movies like Lost Highway or Mulholland Drive where something happens in the middle, some unnameable thing that alters the very nature of reality, and the narrative then twists at that point like a mobius strip--everything goes back to one moment that unbalances time and space. Here, it's not so much a narrative twist as a narrative wound--a scar the story can't stop touching.)

And here's what really gets me: if my health keeps improving (knock on wood) and I'm able to keep recapping all the way through the way I'd like to, I'll be doubling back after 3x13, "The Wrath of the Lamb," and finishing season two as well. Which means that, the way things are going now, it may be that the very last episode I ever recap, the final grace note, would be... "Mizumono."

Back to the future, which is also the past: as in "Primavera," Will wakes up startled and hazy in the hospital; a doctor comes in, gets Will a drink of water, and tells him that someone wants to see him:

@cleolindajones: that's not Abigail

@lorettaramos: PSYCH! @RaulEEsparza is the new @KaceyKadoodles

Will mutters, "Hello, Frederick." "You were expecting someone else?" A long pause: "I was hoping for someone else."

@thetuxedos: "don't worry, will. i too can be your surrogate daughter." -frederick chilton probably

"He knew exactly how to cut you," says Chilton, echoing "Abigail's" words to Will--this is where they came from. "They said it was surgical. He wanted you to live." "He left us to die," says Will.

"But we didn't," says a bloodied Abighost.

A dramatic sigh from ~Frederick: "Couple of suckers we've been. He set us up and knocked us down. What bothers me the most is, I think it was easy for him. Shooting monkeys in a barrel," says Chilton, managing to conflate "shooting fish in a barrel" and "barrel full of monkeys," which almost takes talent. "You had encephalitis. I do not know what my excuse was."

"Compulsive imitation," says Will, whose snark also survived the bloodbath.

"How dull." LOL CHILTON. But he doesn't deny it: "Maybe. I am learning all sorts of new things about myself these days. I'm learning new things about you, too." Ugh, is there a button Will can push to have Chilton ejected from his room, possibly into the sun? He can barely even talk, rasping: "Imitation allows us to better understand the behavior of others." "I have great empathy for you, Will," Chilton says solemnly; it reminds me of that time Franklyn kept trying to be Hannibal. "Both of us eviscerated and accused... I have literally felt your pain." Will, unimpressed: "We have matching scars."

"You need a friend... Friend," says Chilton, sitting down.

@idoherty451: omg Chilton wants to be his friend and all I can think about is Tumblr and "what about Chilton?" this is amazing

@cleolindajones: Yeah, no wonder Will retreated into delusion

"You will leave this hospital under a cloud of suspicion." "Not a cloud, a fog," says Will, thoroughly aware of how fucked his life is. Chilton: "I can help you get Hannibal Lecter out of your head." "And into your hospital." Well, it is traditional. "There's opportunity here," says Chilton, "for both of us." (I would like to point out here that the last time someone got greedy for "opportunity," he got his head sawed open.) "We can catch the man who framed and maimed us," Chilton adds, a more vengeful tone now.

"There's no opportunity here, Frederick," says Will. "Not for you."

After a long, wounded pause, Chilton replies, "The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist... fears this is true." He leans in: "This is your best possible world, Will. Not getting a better one."

So apparently Will's mind, struggling to cope, seizes on the phrase all possible worlds, and recasts this conversation, responds to it, in the one he has with "Abigail" about the multiverse: It's hard to grasp what would've happened, what could've happened, and in some other world did happen. Everything that can happen, happens. It has to end well and... it has to end badly. It has to end every way it can. Which leads him to the conclusion, in Abigail's voice, that their ending hasn't come yet: He wants us to find him. And further more, if everything that can happen, happens, then you can never really do the wrong thing. You're just doing what you're supposed to.

As Will lies in bed, the background fades to black. The next scene is a (conscious?) reverie in which Will recasts the "last supper" with the rack of lamb, the one where Hannibal tried to get him to confess his duplicity, as a dinner where they kill Jack together. (Janice writes of her chagrin: "Really, Writer’s Room. Just a pick-up of the Sacrificial Lamb dinner scene from last year? Really?")

@lorettaramos: Did you ever notice how everything seems to be trying to escape #Hannibal’s table? @FeedingHannibal

By Will's metaphysical logic, then, there is a universe in which this really did happen--in which Will brutally betrayed Jack because the multiverse required that it happen somewhere. So it wasn't really wrong... was it?

(There is some epic, tragic music going on, by the way.)

At the table, Will splits into twin Wills, literally divided by his loyalties--the one on the left looking towards Jack, and the one on the right staring straight ahead at Hannibal. Who, as a signal, turns to stare right back at him.

And that's when Will, having graduated to Second Worst at Helping, seizes Jack to hold him down. I can't even handle the pitifully shocked look on Jack's face:

In a visual repeated for all the characters this episode, Will's conflicted face is half shadow, half light. Even the grapes are dark on one side of the platter and light on the other. AND YOU KNOW WHICH SIDE HANNIBAL AND HIS KNIFE ARE ON:

You'd think from that picture that Hannibal's about to plunge the knife into Jack's heart while Will holds Jack down, but no--he cuts Jack's throat so hard and so fast that Jack's head practically spins, and the two of them hold Jack down while he bleeds out, eyes wide in shock and horror.

(Interestingly, Jack and Will, ostensibly on the side of the law, are both wearing dark jackets; Hannibal's wearing a light one. I don't know if that's specific color symbolism so much as "Hannibal is definitely on a different side than the one Will started on, and also, only Fancy Cannibal wears light-colored suits.")

@BryanFuller: BTS - #FannibalFamily DINNER BEFORE THE BLOOD FLOWS

@BryanFuller: BTS - #FannibalFamily DINNERS AT #HANNIBAL’s CAN BE A BLOODY MESS

@lorettaramos: BTS: Are you having a laugh?

@lorettaramos: Poor Jack, never a moment’s rest.

So, with this running through Will's head, it's a bit awkward when Jack shows up all these months later. With the tragic music--almost romantically tragic--still going, Will is trying to weld something in need of enweldment (blue sparks flying: would this be considered fire, symbolically?), pushing away thoughts of Hannibal (a brief slip into the long/narrow Flashback Aspect Ratio) while he works on a boat motor. In brief, wordless flashes, Hannibal drops a gutted Will to the floor; him leaning over Will is, I think, from moment Hannibal tells Will to "make it all go away, wade into the stream." And Hannibal's eyes, intentionally or not from that angle, appear to be BLACK EMPTY VOIDS.

[x]

We've seen Will work on motors recreationally before, but this time, he has an actual boat on the premises. Also,

@cleolindajones: DOGES

frolic in the snow as Jack strides up to Will's workbarn. "I had hoped you would come look for me," Jack says pleasantly, leaning in the doorway, "but I understand why you didn't." Oh, wow, so Will and Jack haven't even had any contact since the bloodbath? He's here now "to, uh... make sure that you don't contradict the official narrative. We're officers of the FBI, wounded in the course of heroic duty."

"That's not true for either of us," says Will, back turned, still working.

"Well, we were supposed to go together. That's... that's on me," says Jack (oh my God, is this his equivalent of "We couldn't leave without you"?). "My foul, my bad." "Not all of our choices are consciously calculated," says Will. Jack, sighing: "No... but our decisions are. You remember when you decided to call Hannibal?"

"I wasn't decided when I called him," says Will, still not looking back. "I just called him." (Bryan Fuller: "I think his motivation is two things: one is to save Jack Crawford's life [...] and then the other plan is that he genuinely wants Hannibal to get away, and I don't think that the audience should be fully aware what that [plan] is because Will is so confused--he's not necessarily a binary thinker, he's just completely clouded with so many options.") "I deliberated... while the phone rang," says Will. (Jack is just giving him one long, continuous side-eye.) "I decided... when I heard his voice." Jack: "You told him we knew." Yes, and it was clearly a cosmic replay of Hannibal calling Garrett Jacob Hobbs ("They know") and kickstarting this whole business in the very first episode, and it was magnificently awful. It'll be even better/worse when we find out several episodes from now who else was in the room with Hannibal at the time. "I told him to leave," says Will, getting quieter and quieter, "because I wanted him to run."

"Why?"

"Because..." Oh God, he's having such a hard time saying it, this poor man, somebody hand him a dog: "Because he... ... ...he was my friend."

(babblingbrooke.tumblr.com)

"And because I wanted to run away with him."

@cleolindajones: BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, DAD

@hipdeep_inpie: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH AN ACCURATE QUOTE

And this gets the Side-Eye of Side-Eyes that it deserves:

And now, back to "Mizumono": a replay of Alana's plunge out of the window, but this time, with 100% more x-ray skeleton.

(x)

@aMoTPodcast: Ohhhhhhh, that lumbar shot did not look promising. Not at all

I didn't handle that well, either:

@cleolindajones: SHE CAN SURVIVE THIS

@cleolindajones: IT'S GONNA BE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE #FINE #TOTALLYFINE

It was around this time during the original broadcast that I realized Alana had been left for dead on the doorstep...just like Abigail's mom.

@cleolindajones:: GODDAMMIT I SAID SHE'S FINE

@cleolindajones: *lying on the floor*

But Alana does survive! And she has an Arwen-esque glow-pallor in the hospital, which is... promising?

But also a shit-ton of bruises on her legs and torso. As you might, after being shoved out a window by a brainwashed teenage girl, then left for dead by a sobby cannibal who didn't even spare you a look as he practically stepped over your broken, bleeding body. NO, I'M NEVER LETTING THAT GO.

@BryanFuller: THE CONCEPT ILLUSTRATION FOR ALANA BLOOM’S RECOVERY ROOM

@cleolindajones: Man, she has really good health insurance

Now, using a wheel-shaped apparatus to hold broken hips in place with its spokes might be a real-world treatment, but I can't find anything about one, so I have to think that this was designed especially. My first association with wheel symbolism is St. Catherine--the Catherine wheel or breaking wheel, a (really horrific) form of medieval execution. Here are three useful points from Wikipedia:

1) "The condemned were lashed to the wheel and their limbs were beaten with a club or iron cudgel, with the gaps in the wheel allowing the limbs to give way and break. Alternatively, the condemned were spreadeagled and broken on a saltire, a cross consisting of two wooden beams nailed in an 'X' shape, after which the victim's mangled body might be displayed on the wheel." This whole process could last "hours and even days," by the way (see, for example, the execution of prolific sixteenth-century serial killer Peter Niers), and there are people on record who hung on for three or four days before finally dying.

2) "The Dutch expression ik ben geradbraakt, literally 'I have been broken on the wheel,' is used to describe physical exhaustion and pain, like the German expression sich gerädert fühlen, 'to feel wheeled,' and the Danish expression radbrækket refer almost exclusively to physical exhaustion and great discomfort."

3) "In English, the quotation 'Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?' from Alexander Pope's 'Epistle to Dr Arbuthnot' is occasionally seen, referring to putting great effort into achieving something minor or unimportant."

(Obviously I'm including that third point because of the coincidental butterfly.)

(Have you heard my new band, Coincidental Butterfly?)

The breaking wheel and wheels in general are associated with St. Catherine of Alexandria, who was martyred and executed--by beheading, because the wheel "shattered at her touch." She broke the wheel, rather than the wheel breaking her. So Alana, the one survivor was "broken" rather than stabbed or cut--and for doing NOTHING WRONG, YOU JACKASSES--seems like an appropriate subject for a touch of martyr symbolism. In fact, lest you think I'm imagining this entirely, (SPOILER) Jack rather energetically introduces Hannibal's face to a breaking wheel in the Capponi torture exhibit in the very next episode. I CAN'T WAIT.

And now, Alana's latest torment:

has this woman not suffered enough

"What I said before I will say again," Chilton smarms, creeping around her room (I think it was around this point that I noticed how infrequently Chilton's dialogue uses contractions), "which is something you cannot say: that I did not warn you." "Cannot see what you will not see," Alana says, her voice weak and gravelly, quoting what Chilton said to her right before he got shot. UGH CHILTON: "Until it shoves you out a window."

This may be the best time to point out that the white hydrangea in Chilton's bouquets symbolizes someone who is cold, heartless, and boastful.

@Tattle_Crime: FYI Tattlers - our amazing @FeedingHannibal is ALSO a skilled flower arranger.

Yeah, Janice knows what's up. "I've always enjoyed the word defenestration," Alana says with supreme detachment, because she can't actually reach up and throttle him. "Now I get to use it in casual conversation." "How many bones did you break?" "You say that like I broke them." "You got yourself to the window, Dr. Bloom, if not through it." The only reason I'm not capslocking my face off right now is that we'll see Chilton get his comeuppance--way more than comeuppance--at the end of the season.

And now, Alana gives us an interesting non sequitur: "They told me a lot of marrow got into my blood... and that I should expect to find myself thinking differently."

You know, I thought that marrow in your blood was supposed to kill you, because I'd only heard of it happening in A Separate Peace. Turns out that it could--by causing a fat embolism--but not necessarily. Then I discovered that the idea of "thinking differently" due to marrow appears in The Witches of Eastwick: "[Felicia] starts saying bizarre, paranoid things and the doctors explain it away by saying that it's because the bone marrow has entered the bloodstream and gone to the brain" (bless you, Straight Dope forums). Given this show's love of movie homages, I think it might be a reference to that. At the same time... later events imply that Alana is intentionally performing a sharper, harder persona so that everyone will take her subsequent actions at face value. Of course she wants revenge! She's disillusioned and embittered and ruthless! I mean, I think she does contain those aspects to an extent, but it's not as total a personality change as she wants everyone to believe; under the cover of that vengefulness, she has (note from the future) a different agenda than she claims.

(Caroline Dhavernas: "[Alana] was really the heart of the show before--not as in the middle of the show--but as in the softer, caring part of the show. Now she’s there fighting with the boys and being manipulative and doing her thing.... It’s much more interesting to play for me.")

(Bryan Fuller: "It was exciting for me to have listened to some of the reactions to Alana’s story in the second season, and there was a significant amount of feedback in terms of frustrations that she had been relegated to the girlfriend role, triangulated between Will and Hannibal, and she wasn’t necessarily following her own story. I was determined at the beginning of this season to make Alana as interesting a character as any of the characters in this season, and her change is perhaps the greatest from the first two seasons.")

"Hallelujah," purrs Chilton.

(frederickchilton.co.vu)

"I do not mean to kick you when you are down," he smirks, "I'm just reminding you how you got down." "And who I'm down with." Yeah, that hit home: "We could all use a little group therapy while we're down here." Alana, smiling: "There's only one 'we' you're really interested in, Frederick. And that 'we' isn't really interested in you."

Hannibal, Hannibal, Hannibal!

@aMoTPodcast: Is this whole episode going to be Chilton trying and failing to assemble the Sinister Six?

@aMoTPodcast: Yes, in my scenario #Hannibal is Spider-man

"Will Graham could use a breakthrough," he insists. Alana: "Being broken was his breakthrough?" "Being broken was yours."

@cleolindajones: STFU, Chilton

@cleolindajones: I'm so mad that she can't just reach out and backhand him

"Will has not had his breakthrough yet. He is saving that for Dr. Lecter," continues Chilton. Alana, considering this, but dryly: "It would be the best thing for his therapy, really." (Was it going nowhere?) Chilton leans down close: "It's only a matter of time before they are back in each other's orbit."

@cleolindajones: I swear I thought he was going to say "in each other's arms"

"Shame not to have the good seats," he says "persuasively," "if only to support poor Will." "That would require some manipulation," says Alana. "Some English on the ball, as it were," agrees Chilton. (Significant phrasing? I'm not sure.) And Alana turns away from him, mulling this over.

So: the general pattern of "Aperitivo" seems to be 1) a "Mizumono" flashback, 2) a hospital recovery scene, 3) a conversation with Chilton, and 4) a post-recovery scene where each character confronts A) some lingering trauma from that night and B) a fellow survivor. It's not set in stone, but the framework holds. Alana's PTSD moment is in Hannibal's empty, shut-up house--all the furnishings still in place, winter sunshine streaming in, as she wheels herself down the hall to the last place she saw him; she moves from light glowing through her hair into both literal and figurative darkness.

(x)

@cleolindajones: If Chilton shows up here I'm going to throw something

Fio argues that what Alana hears now is actually Will talking aloud to "Abigail," but she places her own significance on it; either way, we are definitely hearing Hannibal in voiceover:

You were so afraid of me. The last time I saw you... before that last time I saw you...

Yeah, the last time Hannibal saw her was when she was lying on his front step in a pile of shattered glass and he walked straight past to go feel sad about Will in the rain. The time before that, he said, "I was hoping you and I wouldn't have to say goodbye. Nothing seen nor said. [...] In your defense, I worked very hard to blind you. You can stay blind. You can hide from this. Walk away, I'll make no plans to call on you. But if you stay, I will kill you. Be blind, Alana. Don't be brave."

And then she went for "brave" and tried to shoot him, and we all know how that turned out.

(If Will is also saying it, he's referring to his meltdown in the hunting cabin.)

Here's what she sees now:

Here's what she saw then:

And then it turns out the house isn't empty at all: Will is camped out in the dark kitchen, just... sitting there on the floor next to the fridge. (A nice bit of continuity: he's sitting right under the paneling that splintered when Jack threw Hannibal into it.)

"What are you doing here?" he asks, creepily calm. Alana: "I guess I'm looking for you." "Mm. That's a good guess." "What are you doing here?"

@aMoTPodcast: "What are you doing here?" Frescoing a mother-floopin memory palace, baby

We had just found out that Twitter ratings throw out tweets with curse words, can you tell?

"Visiting old friends," he says. One side of Alana's face is in total darkness, the other half-moon pale: "You're not tempted to forget?" "No, I don't want to forget. I'm building rooms in my memory palace for all my friends." Oh my God, bring this man a dog. "Friendship with Hannibal is blackmail elevated to the level of love," says Alana; Will replies, "A mutually-unspoken pact to ignore the worst in one another in order to continue enjoying the best."

1) So this is an ironic reversal from "You see the best in him. I... don't."

2) WILLIAM, LOVE YOURSELF

"After everything he's done, can you still ignore the worst in him?"

"I came here to be alone, Alana," says Will. "If you wouldn't mind..."

Exit backwards into the darkness, with side-eye. And right when you're like, "GOD, WILL," you see who's sitting next to him there on the floor:

Maybe I'm just imagining it, but Hannibal's stainless-steel fridge right there looks a lot like the mortuary drawers at the lab.

@BryanFuller: #FannibalFamily REUNION WITH WILL, ALANA AND ABIGAIL THE DEFENESTRATOR

Yeah, I guess it would kind of hurt Abighost's feelings to have her victim hanging out with them.

(I don't really blame her.)

(SATAN.)

@lorettaramos: BTS Ghosts of @KaceyKadoodles past.

@KaceyKadoodles: it was so difficult to sit like that in those pants, but i had a sweet bloody face thing, so that's cool. 👖👍

If you look closely, Alana has started wearing red lipstick as of that scene--in previous seasons, Alana almost always had a very natural, unadorned look. (To the point where her smoky eyeshadow at Hannibal's party in "Futamono" almost jumps out like a statement of intent.) Now her look has completely changed from her usual kicky skirts and knee boots; she'll be wearing sharp pantsuits for the rest of the season. In the past she's worn bold red, so the red coat now isn't so different--the painstakingly curled hair and sharp red lips are the real statement of change. Makeup can often be a mask or a revelation--but what are you choosing to reveal, what connotation of yourself?

And she wears this look to the Verger farm--where she sees Margot riding through the woods.

Margot Verger background

Short version: Margot, a lesbian in both incarnations, is cisgender and fairly femme on the show, rather than a more masculine (genderqueer?) bodybuilder. I've talked to people who felt that Margot was a crude stereotype in the book, and others who thought she was sympathetically portrayed; I'm honestly not sure either way. The crux of it is, if you're only familiar with the show, Margot's arrival last season felt like the show was adding a degree of queerness; if you're familiar with the book, it felt like the show was taking several degrees away. I love Margot on the show, but I'm also mentally compartmentalizing her away from that problem; Show Margot having what will become an openly stated relationship with a woman redresses that--a little. The most necessary information right now, though: what both versions of Margot have in common is that she is no longer able to bear children, which means she can't fulfill the male-heir-only clause in their father's will; she's therefore dependent on her brother, who is slightly less heinous in the show. Slightly.

@aMoTPodcast: I can't be the only one getting the vibe that Margot is totally checking Alana out right now

Oh, you're not.

@BryanFuller: SOMEONE HAS PINGED MARGOT’S GAYDAR #FannibalFamily #HANNIBAL PINGPINGPINGPING

Margot's LGBTQdar, technically. I didn't finish listening to the S2 DVD commentaries (there were several, and very enjoyable), so I missed this exchange in "Naka-choko," during the controversial "wait but Margot said she doesn't have proclivities for those parts" sex scene:

CAROLINE DHAVERNAS: Are we going to see Margot have lesbian sex eventually?

BRYAN FULLER: I hope so!

CAROLINE DHAVERNAS: Please all the fans that are unhappy with that scene! I mean... I'm up for it if you want...

Thus, please direct all flowers and fruit baskets to the Goddess Caroline, because Canon Bisexual Alana Bloom was her idea. Later, she clarified, "Bryan's take on it was that she had always probably been bisexual, but we had just not heard about it," so the bit about "thinking differently" is apparently not meant to imply that marrow in the blood changed Alana's sexuality. Also, knowing that Margot will get to have a sincere same-sex relationship will make eventually recapping "Naka-choko" a little easier for me--particularly since the future Verger-Blooms fill me with joy and delight.

In the barn, Margot feels her lady radar go off and turns to find Alana, now walking with a cane, in the doorway. We get closeups of Margot's horse's eye and the head of the cane--each representing, at this point, how the two women get around? Symbolic of their agency? Alana introduces herself; Margot realizes she's "the new psychiatrist." (Which means, by the way, that Alana's stolen the idea that Chilton was too big a dumbass to pull off himself: insinuate herself into the Verger household as a therapist.) "I went one exit too far on the expressway, came back along the service road," says Alana. "I'm not sure if this is my entrance...?"

"This can be your entrance," purrs Margot, looking Alana up and down.

@cleolindajones: oh can it?

"It isn't easy to find the first time you come."

(margotvonverger.tumblr.com)

oh girl

"I'm Margot Verger."

@DrNeverland: @NBCHannibal Margot just went "yeehaw."

@NBCHannibal: @DrNeverland omg

Most of this conversation is adapted directly from either narrative or dialogue in the book: they shake hands, and Alana says, "A witchy beauty about this place." "Yes, isn't there? You should see it in the spring. The riot of lilacs in the wind smells nothing at all like the stockyards and slaughterhouses one usually associates with the Verger name," Margot says dryly.

@BryanFuller: AN UNPARALLELED UNDERSTANDING OF PIGGISHNESS [Verger company logo]

Oh my God, I just realized that Margot's hair is in pigtails.

"Can you please let your brother know I'm here?"

"He knows," says Margot, as they walk through the mansion, offering to answer any questions if talking to Mason "bothers you or you can't take it." Margot actually doesn't exist in the movie at all--and yet, Joe Anderson drawls out her name exactly the way we expected: "MARRRGO! YOU CAN LEAVE US NOW!" And so she leaves Alana with this ominous advice: "If my brother offers you chocolate? Politely refuse."

And then they give each other lingering parting glances.

(fionabriggs.tumblr.com)

(*chinhands*)

I don't know how much of the mansion exterior set is real, but it's gorgeous. Before Alana can get any further than "Good afternoon, Mr. Verger," though, Mason starts evangelizing: "You know, I thank God for what happened. It was my salvation. Have you accepted Jesus, Dr. Bloom? Do you have faith?" "I was raised in a religious atmosphere, Mr. Verger," says Alana, "but whatever that left me with, it's not religion." (All of this is adapted directly from the book; in Clarice's case, that religion was Lutheran.) "Left me with more," drawls Mason. "You see, I'm free, Dr. Bloom. I'm right with the Risen Jesus and it's all okay now." (Book Mason insists that because he has "immunity from Jesus"--and the District Attorney--for his previous crimes, everything is totes cool now.) "And nobody beats the Riz," he adds with a wink (weirdest pickup line ever).

@manatee73: #JoeAnderson ate the scenery and two microphones in this scene.

"He will rise me up and smite mine enemies and I shall hear the lamentations of their women. That was once you, I'm told," Mason slimes; now it's his turn to look her up and down. "Dr. Lecter got deeper inside you than he did any of us--" And then he spontaneously starts choking, which I choose to perceive as evidence of my psychic powers.

@cleolindajones: CHOKE AND DIE

@NBCHannibal: *blows whistle* OUT OF BOUNDS, VERGER, YOU GET A TIMEOUT FOR THAT ONE

@beamish_girl: @cleolindajones I love that Mason's face is the only thing so far that's *less* horrible than we were expecting.

With Clarice, he does go on and on about his "forgiven" horribleness, but makes the personal comments behind her back. ("Does [Lecter] want to fuck her or kill her, or eat her, or what?") That's the role Alana's taking in this storyline, by the way, but a bit in reverse--Clarice is sent to the Verger farm after Mason offers a lead on Fugitive Cannibal to the FBI. Alana, not being in law enforcement, has to seek Mason out and offer herself as an investigator, but the general drift is the same: they are both women with enough knowledge of Hannibal's tastes to find him, and the drive to see him captured.

@aMoTPodcast: Is that "lamentations of their women" bit from the book or is Mason blending his biblical-style proclamations with Conan?

cleolindajones: Conan. Amazingly.

@aMoTPodcast: MASON WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE? *sputtering spit gargling noises*

Actually, I was wrong; this happens word for word in the book. (As far as I can tell, "the lamentations of their women" is Barbarian rather than Biblical, though.) Mason is still choking, by the way. Alana and her spectacular coat are not giving a good goddamn.

@aMoTPodcast: Gotta admit, that coat is dynamite

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" she asks, at some point, eventually, when she feels like it.

"No, no--I'm--I'm fine now... it's all okay now," he says rakishly. I can't tell if he's flirting with Alana because he wants to get with her specifically, or just as a power play. Either way, she patiently asks him if he's shared Any Relevant Information On Hannibal Lecter the way he was supposed to. Mason admits, "Not exactly. I want you to understand, Dr. Bloom, that this is not a revenge thing."

@aMoTPodcast: "This is not a revenge thing. By which I mean this is absolutely 100% without a doubt a revenge thing."

"I have forgiven Dr. Lecter as Our Savior forgave the Roman soldiers," he adds magnanimously (excuse you, Hannibal is the Jesus on this show). But Alana replies, "Forgiveness isn't all it's cracked up to be, Mr. Verger. I don't need religion to appreciate the idea of Old Testament revenge." And she gives him a slow, unnervingly sweet smile that reminds me a little of that line about War in Good Omens: "And as she held her sword, she smiled like a knife."

(quinnsharleys.tumblr.com)

@lorettaramos: Old Testament Revenge. I think s*%$ is about to get real.

(It also reminds me of that scene in "Mukozuke" where Gideon told her that the vengeful Will was "in a biblical place right now." Ostensibly, Alana's here to get revenge on Hannibal as well.)

Back last summer when they gave us the five movie inspirations that they already had planned, episode 4's was going to be Kill Bill. At the time I couldn't figure out how--we had been promised a Lady Murasaki who would "kick all sorts of ass" at that point, so maybe... an O-Ren Ishii homage? Except... what? How?

Todd VanDerWerff: "Alana is apparently Beatrix Kiddo now? At least, that's what the Kill Bill-style music cue over this shot would have you believe."

Ah. There it is.

So that was the fun ("fun") stuff. Meet me on the second post with a stiff drink of choice, because it's about to get sad as fuck.

CONTINUE: PART TWO.